Burnout / Leave of absence

[mistah_g]

Hello everyone,

 

I’ve been using these forums for a long time (since my pre-med days, and I’m currently a resident), and I was actually hoping to post this under a different handle (for anonymity), but unfortunately it seems the PM101 registration / email system isn't working properly currently. So I'm posting this knowing that some of you may recognize who I am, but I seriously need some advice.

 

I am an internal medicine resident, and I am having some difficulties currently, and so I am looking for some advice from people in general or perhaps from anyone who has been in a similar situation.

 

The long and short of it is – I’m burnt out. I’m so burnt out that I just can’t go on anymore. Every day is a struggle, to get out of bed, to eat, to go to work, to even think is tough. I took on way too much despite the fact that I was working crazy resident hours. And I haven’t had a break in the longest time – all of my summers during medical school and before residency were spent working or doing something else unrelated to “taking time off”.

 

I’m exhausted, it’s affecting my physical health, and it’s affecting how I look after patients – the latter of which is my biggest concern. I’m not learning anything, I can’t focus, my memory is terrible, I can’t sleep, blah blah – the list goes on.

 

I am thus considering applying for a leave of absence. I’m already in communication with our resident wellbeing / student affairs office, and I will be meeting with them soon. I also have a doctor whom I’ve been seeing regularly (burnout obviously doesn’t just occur over night). I’ve made appointments with both of these people in the coming days.

 

I am wondering – is there anyone here who took a leave of absence, or knows of anyone who did such a thing? My biggest concern is that I’m in internal medicine, so I will be applying for a second CaRMS round again in the future, and I am really concerned about the effects of a leave of absence on my application.

 

The alternative is to continue pushing through and living this way, dreading every day, sacrificing my learning, and potentially making poor decisions – all of which I really wish to avoid, but would allow me to continue on the usual CaRMS path and would also not take its toll on all of the other residents in my program (in terms of call, shifts, etc).

 

Thanks so much for taking the time to read this post and I really appreciate any advice you may have.

[Jochi1543]

I had to take medical leave twice in residency, I busted my back and the chronic pain really got to me - I couldn't sleep, which meant I couldn't successfully function at work. I ended up needing 9 months of physio and only now am fully functional. I still have discomfort and pain daily, but I can finally exercise, etc.

 

I took 3 weeks and 2 weeks on separate occasions. I'm not in a service-based program, so it was quite easy and did not really negatively affect my colleagues. I asked for help covering my call, but no one volunteered, so the shifts just went uncovered. It was literally a matter going to my PD with a medical note and saying I wanted to go on leave.

 

I have to make up the 5 weeks I missed at the end of my residency, but it was totally worth it. It's a bit lame that my friends will be locuming in the meantime, but whatever, it's only a bit over a month. We have had someone fall behind every other year or so, so it's not that uncommon.

[justletmein]

Hello everyone,

 

I am wondering – is there anyone here who took a leave of absence, or knows of anyone who did such a thing? My biggest concern is that I’m in internal medicine, so I will be applying for a second CaRMS round again in the future, and I am really concerned about the effects of a leave of absence on my application.

 

This is the last thing you should be worrying about.

 

Your health and well-being come first. Take the time that you need and come back only when you are ready.

 

Nobody will fault you for being sick. Residents get burned out ALL THE TIME. It is very common.

 

In terms of CaRMS, this will not be seen as a negative -- in fact, it is nobody's business why you take sick leave so you should not be judged.... And if you need to defer your R4 year because this leave makes you fall behind a bit, so be it. Think about your long-term mental health.

[5th time the charm]

If you are in ontario you can access the pairo helpline

And the OMA physician health program is another resource that can link you up with help where you are

You've made important steps towards getting through this. Please don't feel you have to go through this alone.

[Renin]

Nobody will fault you for being sick. Residents get burned out ALL THE TIME. It is very common.

 

THIS. Take care of yourself.

[A-Stark]

I don't know if a full leave of absence will ultimately be necessary, but have you been using your vacation time? In my program we essentially self-schedule everything, and I manage to have some time off - or even travel - almost monthly. I can definitely empathize with the stress of an IM program - I spent about a third of my time this winter on night float, which meant that I spent a third of the winter feeling isolated and disconnected from society.

 

It can be pretty hard in any program, most definitely, but regardless of your school there will be supports in place to help you. I would definitely seek them out. I don't know what your program director is like, but many of them are extremely understanding and willing to help and talk.

[rogerroger]

The alternative is to continue pushing through and living this way, dreading every day, sacrificing my learning, and potentially making poor decisions – all of which I really wish to avoid...

 

Good post. I think you answered your own question with the quote above. Not much of an alternative to that is there? I'm not saying you definitely need to be fully off work, but I would talk to your program. From your post above you seem to have excellent insight and that you are very aware that your health is suffering. From one resident to another, prioritize your health. We make it the mission of our careers to promote good health, yet so often, myself included, we forget about ourselves. I get the sense that you know what you need to do. My best wishes to you in sorting this out.