Guest KG06 Posted November 27, 2001 Report Share Posted November 27, 2001 This is a somewhat lame/unimportant question in the grand scheme of things, but how much do dating (i.e. meeting new people) and relationships (with a significant other that's far away) suffer once you get to med school? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest strider2004 Posted November 27, 2001 Report Share Posted November 27, 2001 This is no different than other careers. If you are extremely committed to your career, you can spend every waking, non-eating, non-personal hour in the library. You will know your material inside and out. This also means that you'll have to make some social sacrifices. It's no different from undergrad, really. If your priority it to have enough time to have a relationship, then the time will be available. I know somebody who is very involved with the school, highly ranked in the class, lots of sports involvement, AND has a g/f. If you want a relationship, then there is definitely room for one. Some students have children. Imagine raising a child while you spend 30 hours in the classroom or hospital and then committing your day's work to memory. If they can do it, then starting a relationship isn't that hard. I can say this from experience. If people say that they don't have time for a relationship because of med school, then it's because they're either not balancing time effectively or they have different priorities. Now residency, well...I think everyone here wants to know about that. Different residency programs have different commitments. Doing a gen surg or neurosurg program and raising a family is probably quite a challenge. You're talking 1 in 3/4 in-house call and very long days. It might be fine to be married but if you want to know your kids.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
seeking1 Posted June 10, 2008 Report Share Posted June 10, 2008 Now you have me wondering if the forums should kick up a dating advice thread. Boy, could I use that right about now... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tooty Posted June 10, 2008 Report Share Posted June 10, 2008 You must have been bored to have dug up a thread from 2001. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
seeking1 Posted June 10, 2008 Report Share Posted June 10, 2008 Haha, doesn't take much when it's one of the few straightforward dating advice threads on the Premed forms. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
A-Stark Posted June 10, 2008 Report Share Posted June 10, 2008 I don't know about med school (I'm hopeful...), but I can say that grad school is emphatically not hospitable for dating. I guess that's why I'm getting out of it! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
seeking1 Posted June 10, 2008 Report Share Posted June 10, 2008 Fair enough. They ask a lot of people in grad school. I don't know though...for a premed forum you'd think that this topic would come up more...maybe it's just cuz I'm a guy and we're generally clueless about this topic... :S Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pathomimi Posted June 11, 2008 Report Share Posted June 11, 2008 haha..I just asked a master's student in my lab today about her parents,who are both doctors. she said that doctors usually marry doctors because they see each other at work at least. And she said that her family went through a hard time during her parents' residency...think about raising kids with a salary 35K /year and long work hours...you have a huge student loan to pay as well.....woohoo...that's tough..in med school, when you don't think about your study, you are probably think about how to get more sleep..lol..well...maybe you can dream about a b/f or g/f while you sleep..just kidding.....The point is that it's pretty hard to have a relationship in med school and even in your residency ...just my personal view... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
A-Stark Posted June 11, 2008 Report Share Posted June 11, 2008 3.5k per year in residency? I think that's at least an order of magnitude off. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pathomimi Posted June 11, 2008 Report Share Posted June 11, 2008 3.5k per year in residency? I think that's at least an order of magnitude off. right...i don't know how that decimal point kicked in...my finger were flying too fast on my keyboard...sry Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
A-Stark Posted June 11, 2008 Report Share Posted June 11, 2008 Mmm. Fortunately resident salaries are a *bit* better than that (well, considerably better in relative terms). Except in Quebec that is. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zmedo007 Posted June 11, 2008 Report Share Posted June 11, 2008 I have cooties. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
luc_cervelo Posted June 11, 2008 Report Share Posted June 11, 2008 I think you have to find someone with at least one of the same passions as you. I tried the other way around once...and it wasn't so great because I found I was too busy to spend any time...heh:o Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lostintime Posted June 11, 2008 Report Share Posted June 11, 2008 Why do people like dating from their own field? I would imagine most people from med would be taken? Who knows..... I love how dating like everything else has become a commodity....my friend is currently picking b/w 3 guys right now. It's almost about the whole "who will give me a better life and is a better 'match' for me" rather than the "who do I truly love". Then again, who knows if love exists? Ahhaa... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
strawberriHoney Posted June 11, 2008 Report Share Posted June 11, 2008 I kind of dont want to date anyone that wants to go into med school. I dont wanna compete... and what if one of us gets in. there's gonna be jealousy for sure. I think this forum should have a section dedicated to non-academic life of premed and med students... like dating and family. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lostintime Posted June 11, 2008 Report Share Posted June 11, 2008 I usually pick the one I feel the most comfortable with. I would like to believe that would work out in the long run, but enough dramas/films/books have jaded me not to believe so. But what do you mean by "comfortable with"? I'm pretty comfortable with some guy friends....but I wouldn't consider dating them lol. I would suggest the opposite--that you should date someone you're NOT that "comfortable" with...not so much that you feel irritated everytime you see their face, but maybe a bit of tension creates some sparks. Or else, it's just like an old friend, except one you kiss and make out with. HAHA.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wolvenstar Posted June 11, 2008 Report Share Posted June 11, 2008 Why do people like dating from their own field? I would imagine most people from med would be taken? Who knows..... I love how dating like everything else has become a commodity....my friend is currently picking b/w 3 guys right now. It's almost about the whole "who will give me a better life and is a better 'match' for me" rather than the "who do I truly love". Then again, who knows if love exists? Ahhaa... lol your friend isn't one of those type, who dates a bunch of people at the same time is she? I truly hope she is picking one of the three guy friends to date, rather than which guy that I am with do I want to keep. On the topic though, I knew two guys who went for FP and raised a family during med school. One had a kid before med school started (1year old), then they had more during med school. The other guy had his daughter in his third year. The point I am trying to make. For some it is possible. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
classA Posted June 11, 2008 Report Share Posted June 11, 2008 I think it will not be a problem. Theres very few doctors if any that I know that are not married and do not have kids. I think your partner will understand that you have to work long hours....and Im sure they will appreciate how much hard work your doing for them (if married). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
seeking1 Posted June 11, 2008 Report Share Posted June 11, 2008 I'm amazed at how quickly everyone here picked up on this thread, its clear this has crossed people's minds before. And yeah, I agree with strawberri, we should probably start up a non-academic portion of the forums. But yeah, I'm not really interested in the whole 'let's get married' scene yet, I'm hardly old enough and really haven't found anyone I'm that comfortable with. But I am interested in someone that I think has the potential to be that person to me, and we are in different fields, but like aran suggested, I am that sort of comfortable around her. I'll probably end up chilling with her often, seeing where it goes. First year has just made me that informal about dating and surpressed my romantic notions. Thoughts? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr. E77 Posted June 11, 2008 Report Share Posted June 11, 2008 Hey folks, Just my two cents, it is perfectly doable! My fiancee and I dated throughout undergrad, grad school and now medschool. It's all about balance and understanding. For example if housework needs to be done, I would do it so she could study for her exams. Likewise if I'm away for a conference, she would take on the load. Really it's a give and take situation and communicating your needs and wants. Of course there will be obstacles, what relationship doesn't. So I hope you all find what you're looking! Cheers! Dr. E77 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
classA Posted June 11, 2008 Report Share Posted June 11, 2008 Just to second Dr. E77, its very doable. Iv been married since 2nd year of undergrad. You just gotta make sure you found the right person! My wife knows how important medicine is to me and has been nothing but supportive and understandable throughout my stress of undergrad exams and the hellish process of applying. If you find someone that can stick with you and deal with your up's and down's of applying to medical school you found the right one!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
seeking1 Posted June 11, 2008 Report Share Posted June 11, 2008 Wow classA, didn't know people still got married that early... But yeah, I'm in total agreeance with Dr. E77 and you. Communication is key. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
whale.of.a.time Posted June 11, 2008 Report Share Posted June 11, 2008 I would suggest the opposite--that you should date someone you're NOT that "comfortable" with...not so much that you feel irritated everytime you see their face, but maybe a bit of tension creates some sparks. Or else, it's just like an old friend, except one you kiss and make out with. HAHA.... But what movies never show is that part after the initial couple of years (honeymoon phase) wears off, and you're either left with someone who is also an amazing friend, or just someone you have nothing to talk about with. I've been with my SO for 5 years, and we love each other a lot, but we like each other too...which makes a huge difference. When I'm 80, I'm gonna be really happy that I'm with someone who is also my best friend. He's also in a non-science field, which helps! I really think it's nice to have a balance at home. Also, he's very supportive, so whenever I'm away at conferences or in the field, he takes care of everything at home. I'm such a dork! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
classA Posted June 11, 2008 Report Share Posted June 11, 2008 Yeah I definitely do not know many people married my age. Iv been married longer then most of my friends have been dating! Overall balance is the key. You have to know when to study and when to spend time with your significant other. Maybe thats why most applications ask about time management?? I think it was an interview question at Western this year! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SolitaireAddikt Posted June 11, 2008 Report Share Posted June 11, 2008 I'm just wondering...do a lot of doctors marry doctors? Or do they try to go as far away from their field as possible when picking a mate? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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