nataliemint Posted January 27, 2015 Report Share Posted January 27, 2015 Hi everyone, I'm currently in my second semester of grad school, doing a 2-year research-based Master's in health/medical sciences (won't specify for the sake of keeping my anonymity). However, I am finding myself incredibly unsatisfied with this program and with my project, and I have been feeling this way since October. Perhaps that should've been a red flag to withdraw before it's too late, but fear of not knowing what to do otherwise and hearing that the first semester is always the hardest made me decide to stick with the program. After completing undergrad, I took a year off from school, took the DAT and applied to dental school (UofT, UWO and McGill). My DAT scores were actually quite decent for a first-time applicant (21AA, 22RC and 25PAT) and my GPA is 88.7% all four years and 90% best two years. However, I only got an interview invite from UWO and got waitlisted there, only to be unsuccessful. I decided that I didn't want to waste another year working in meaningless jobs, I wanted to move away from home and do something that would improve my chances of getting into dental school the next time I applied. Hence the research-based Master's. To be honest though, I dug my own hole because I never liked research. I did a fourth-year research project in undergrad and absolutely hated it. I love doing course work and just learning rather than working in a lab. In hindsight, I should have done a course-based Master's rather than a research-based one, but my pride and fear led me to pursuing the latter. Now I'm at a point where it would technically be too late for me to withdraw without suffering some sort of penalty - it would be indicated on my transcript that I withdrew, which could look bad when I apply for DS in the future. But I just don't know what to do. I know it's only a year and half left (hopefully), but the past 5 months have been the most miserable by far. No only do I have absolutely no interest in my project, but the lab atmosphere is also far from ideal. I get ridiculed by a lab mate who is supposed to be my mentor, and my supervisor cannot be trusted (he screwed another lab mate over because he altered a figure that she was basing her project off of). I used to suffer from anxiety and depression, recovered fairly well from it but now everything is returning. My health has been compromised and so has my sanity. I find myself having panic attacks one to two times a week. Don't get me wrong, I consider myself a very persevering and ambitious person and I have been trying to just "suck it up" because in the end, you have to what you have to do to get where you want to be. But how much is too much?ANYWAYS I apologize for the novel of a post, but I guess I'd just like to hear other people's opinions are on the matter. Has anyone been in the same situation as me? Are there any current dental students who successfully got admitted into DS even after withdrawing from a program, or know someone who did? I honestly just don't what to do, and the thought of quitting consistently re-emerges.Also, I should note that I do plan on applying American schools this June, so I have to shadow a dentist this semester. Then over the summer I'm studying for the November DAT. No doubt this will only further add to the stress and time-constraints. I really appreciate any feedback. I feel stupid and weak for even considering quitting, but I am just so emotionally and physically drained from the stress of this program that I am strongly considering it. Hope someone can provide me with insight. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) Posted January 27, 2015 Report Share Posted January 27, 2015 My 2 cents? You've come this far already and having a master's degree would significantly improve your chances for schools like UofT (I believe like half their class has a Master's degree and GPA standards are lower for them, check their stats). It's hard when you don't enjoy what you're doing but sometimes you gotta just hammer through things and focus more on the light at the end of the tunnel.. which is that you'll have a better shot at being admitted to dental school later on. It would also be pretty unfair to your colleagues and supervisor to suddenly drop out now. You took on a major role/responsibility when you started your MSc. If I were you, I'd change my perspective on this Master's degree. See it as a stepping stone, an enabler, and something that will improve you. See it as a way to pocket some extra cash to save up for dental school/application costs (assuming you TA). Focus on how you can change your attitude about how you approach this situation and maybe ur surroundings will change too. If I worked in a lab with someone who was constantly bitter and clearly showed no interest in being there, it wouldn't exactly be easy to be friendly or supportive around them. Basically, try to find the positives in your situation and focus on that. There are several post-grad students in my lab who I feel are in similar situations as you. Basically they're not getting any work done and are dragging on their degree bc they aren't being efficient due to a lack of interest. It's all about finding a way to motivate yourself at this point. BUT if there really isn't a single positive thing you can focus on and your mental health is seriously suffering to the point where it's actually harming your well-being, then dropping out may be a better option. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nataliemint Posted January 27, 2015 Author Report Share Posted January 27, 2015 Thanks your input! You make some valid points and i think changing perspective would be beneficial, though I have been trying to do that. I guess it's just a matter of perseverance.Although my attitude definitely doesn't help, I do cover it up pretty well and try not to complain. If anything, my lab mates complain a LOT more than I do - probably because they're stressing about completing their Master's on time (they applied to medical school). And in the beginning I was pretty neutral about doing research in this lab, but it was actually my mentor who made me second-guess myself and start to really dislike the toxic work environment. Essentially he's on a high horse where everyone is stupider than him because he's been working in the same lab for 4 years and he's also scored in the 95th percentile on his MCAT. In other words, me being new and unknowledgeable = opportunity for him to rub it in my face how little I know. Not exactly encouraging. Bitterness aside, I actually clock in a ton of hours in the lab. I usually work 7 days a week as there is high pressure to produce data for our lab meetings. Hopefully the endless work will mean that I can actually graduate earlier/ahead of time. I'm also a people-pleaser by nature so maybe I need to stop worrying so much about what the people in my lab and my supervisor think of me, and step back a bit. I can't please everyone and I really am putting in a lot of effort into getting the experiments right. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GXTZ Posted January 27, 2015 Report Share Posted January 27, 2015 I want to add that if there are counseling services at your school, definitely seek them out. It may help more than you realize. And you don't have to tell them everything up front. Even a bit of emotional outlet would be helpful when all the stress and anxiety builds up. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nataliemint Posted January 31, 2015 Author Report Share Posted January 31, 2015 Thanks GXTZ, and sorry for the late reply (I've been having trouble with my MacBook all this week ). I currently do see a counsellor on campus. She's not bad but I think I'm looking to see a psychologist instead so that I can change my perfectionistic thinking, haha. Ultimately I've decided to keep persevering in the program. It's not all bad; I think the negativity of my labmates sometimes just gets to me and i start assuming the worst for my project - that, and my laptop not working makes everything automatically so much more stressful lol. Time is flying and I do keep myself busy, and I try to balance everything out with seeing my friends over the weekend. I just need to set up goals and activities that I look forward to - I believe that'll help. That, and accepting the fact that I will never be caught up with paper-reading If anyone has any additional tips from their own experiences about persevering through a really tough job/lab position/etc, then those are always welcome! I need constant reminders that spending all this time and stress in the lab WILL improve my chances of getting into dental school (or so I hope!). Thanks again everyone! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GXTZ Posted February 1, 2015 Report Share Posted February 1, 2015 Thanks GXTZ, and sorry for the late reply (I've been having trouble with my MacBook all this week ). I currently do see a counsellor on campus. She's not bad but I think I'm looking to see a psychologist instead so that I can change my perfectionistic thinking, haha. Ultimately I've decided to keep persevering in the program. It's not all bad; I think the negativity of my labmates sometimes just gets to me and i start assuming the worst for my project - that, and my laptop not working makes everything automatically so much more stressful lol. Time is flying and I do keep myself busy, and I try to balance everything out with seeing my friends over the weekend. I just need to set up goals and activities that I look forward to - I believe that'll help. That, and accepting the fact that I will never be caught up with paper-reading If anyone has any additional tips from their own experiences about persevering through a really tough job/lab position/etc, then those are always welcome! I need constant reminders that spending all this time and stress in the lab WILL improve my chances of getting into dental school (or so I hope!). Thanks again everyone! I'm happy for you - keep your chin up! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
_ _ Posted February 1, 2015 Report Share Posted February 1, 2015 The best advice I can offer you ipod!! In all seriousness though, I worked in a lab for 4 months this summer with one other person who spoke only french, and I spoke only english. And they weren't exactly open to making friends.... I spent a whole evening adding my favorite songs, and it sounds stupid but I can't tell you how much better it made things audiobooks are great too or tedtalks from youtube Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
seeking1 Posted February 2, 2015 Report Share Posted February 2, 2015 1. Stick with the Masters and finish it successfully 2. Re-apply to dental school, will help a lot for U of T 3. Interview successfully 4. Get into dental school! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nataliemint Posted February 7, 2015 Author Report Share Posted February 7, 2015 Haha thanks everyone! These posts have really helped (tip wise, and for putting a smile on my face ). I just gotta keep thinking about the end-result ( ie. dental school)!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.