Jump to content
Premed 101 Forums

Apprehensions About Starting Med


Recommended Posts

Hi everybody,

I've been accepted to a Canadian med school, as somebody who is, in almost every sense of the term, "non-traditional."

 

I hold arts degrees, and have only ever taken one science course (I did well enough on the VR section of the MCAT to be accepted to a few of those 'non-trad' schools). For the past 5 years, I've been working on earning my degrees in vocal performance and art history. I was bitten by the medicine bug through early in my undergrad through a few events that had a profound effect on me. Ever since first year, I decided I was interested in medicine and would give it a shot, but was never TRULY expecting to be admitted, or at least never expecting how I would feel once I had been admitted...

 

I have a strong interest and passion for medicine, and really important reasons that have motivated my career choice, but I am absolutely TERRIFIED of starting med school. My lack of a science background makes me nervous about how I will be able to succeed in such an environment, especially without the hard-core study skills in science that others seem to have in spades.

 

Now that I've accomplished this goal that has been motivating me for years, I have looked back on my experiences and realized I maybe didn't pursue some of the things I wished I had, because of the decisions (academic and lifestyle) I had to make to make myself competitive for med school. More significantly, I fear that going into medicine fairly early in my life, without having explored a career in music and the arts will leave me to regret my decision to go into medicine down the road. I feel torn, because I know medicine is what I have wanted for a long time, but in many ways, I feel I have not exhausted the avenues I've wanted to pursue enough that I am happy to close those doors and start a new life as a med student.

 

I know this may seem selfish, or that I appear ungrateful for the wonderful privilege of being able to attend a Canadian medical school. Please forgive me for that - it isn't at all the case, or my intention. I am wondering if this angst is something other incoming or current med students have ever experienced, or felt (particularly those non-trads among us).

 

Thank you for any thoughts.

 

 

 

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

If you're interested in medicine and motivated to be a doctor I'm sure you'll do fine. It won't close any doors for you, you're free to quit medicine and pursue arts or music whenever you want, and you're certainly free to do what you enjoy during your free time in medicine.

 

Go for it, good luck!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Hi! I think it takes a lot of courage to admit that here, and you're not alone. One of my dad's classmates dropped out right before graduation, as she realized she didn't want the responsibility that comes with an MD, and she only wanted to write. She's doing fine now. My mom was licensed but she never practiced, and she later went to teacher's college. I also come from art-related beginnings; in high school I planned to be a professional musician and later studied visual arts with a plan to go to art school, not university. My path also took some twists and turns and I ended up here, entering Med 1 in the fall.

First of all, I have heard of some arts students struggling with the science at first, but it will likely just take some extra work. The good news is–at least in my view – it is very doable for someone with an aptitude for arts to learn science. Learning science mainly takes a lot of reading comprehension, practice, and some abstract thought and logic. Since you've made it this far, you're definitely bright enough to handle it! The best advice I can give is to learn to see the beauty in science and to appreciate it. Sure, some of it is boring, but lots of it – especially the human body, is pretty awe-inspring.

I've dealt with some doubts since a couple of years ago when I first considered a medical career, and I think we'll all go through some doubt throughout our training. One thing that helped me is getting a sense for the darker side of medicine and thinking about whether I'd be willing to deal with such things: I've talked to some doctors, watched Doctor's Diaries, kept up with medical news, read these forums, and started reading the House of God. Obviously this is only scratching the surface of what the lived experience is actually like, but it's something.

Finally, I still plan to be an artist as a doctor. Anton Chekhov, William Carlos Williams, and Frank Netter all made amazing art even as MDs (with varying degrees of commitment to the practice of medicine, of course). Art is still one of my passions, but I decided it wasn't the career for me.

I don't know if that helped, and at the end of the day it's really only you who could know for sure, but good luck!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Flip your line of thinking on its head - if you were to quit medicine and pursue a career in arts or music, would you regret not exhausting this avenue? Sounds like you may be looking at the grass being greener somewhere else, which is perfectly natural to think, especially when wading into the unknown of medicine.

 

In terms of your ability to handle the workload associated with being a med student, don't be too concerned. There will be some challenging aspects, as there are for virtually everyone, but if you can get into med school, you can get through med school (at least from an academic point of view).

 

The only thing to be aware of is that spare time can be hard to come by, especially in some avenues through medicine. Some of these avenues may be very intriguing except for the amount of time they demand. At some point, you will have to decide what kind of balance you want between your medical career and your non-medical interests. Nothing needs to be set in stone this early in the game, but it's worth knowing a bit about what potential specialties and practice settings are available, and how your passion for arts and music might fit into those career paths.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Sounds you've got an early start on the "imposter syndrome" that most med students (residents...attendings...) have at one time or another.

 

You'll be fine.  Medical school and residency will teach you all you need to know about being a doctor. 

 

 

 

Hi everybody,

I've been accepted to a Canadian med school, as somebody who is, in almost every sense of the term, "non-traditional."

 

I hold arts degrees, and have only ever taken one science course (I did well enough on the VR section of the MCAT to be accepted to a few of those 'non-trad' schools). For the past 5 years, I've been working on earning my degrees in vocal performance and art history. I was bitten by the medicine bug through early in my undergrad through a few events that had a profound effect on me. Ever since first year, I decided I was interested in medicine and would give it a shot, but was never TRULY expecting to be admitted, or at least never expecting how I would feel once I had been admitted...

 

I have a strong interest and passion for medicine, and really important reasons that have motivated my career choice, but I am absolutely TERRIFIED of starting med school. My lack of a science background makes me nervous about how I will be able to succeed in such an environment, especially without the hard-core study skills in science that others seem to have in spades.

 

Now that I've accomplished this goal that has been motivating me for years, I have looked back on my experiences and realized I maybe didn't pursue some of the things I wished I had, because of the decisions (academic and lifestyle) I had to make to make myself competitive for med school. More significantly, I fear that going into medicine fairly early in my life, without having explored a career in music and the arts will leave me to regret my decision to go into medicine down the road. I feel torn, because I know medicine is what I have wanted for a long time, but in many ways, I feel I have not exhausted the avenues I've wanted to pursue enough that I am happy to close those doors and start a new life as a med student.

 

I know this may seem selfish, or that I appear ungrateful for the wonderful privilege of being able to attend a Canadian medical school. Please forgive me for that - it isn't at all the case, or my intention. I am wondering if this angst is something other incoming or current med students have ever experienced, or felt (particularly those non-trads among us).

 

Thank you for any thoughts.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

OP I feel exactly the same way as you do - come from a non-science background, wish I had considered other careers more seriously etc. before taking the plunge. Just like you I didn't think I would get in. I was so consumed with the process of being successful in this pursuit that I forgot to reassess my choice often enough. 

 

I think a good thing for you to do might be to assess what exactly all your fears are. For me apart from the studying, it's the hospital environment/medical culture of being tough on trainees/disrespecting them etc.(many articles written on this) that make me fear this the most. The other thing is the length of commitment - it's hard once you get in to leave - and I simply don't like this idea of 'delayed gratification'. I plan to enjoy all of my youth regardless of whether I'm in medical school or not. In addition, the 'hoops' to jump through hardly end with med school acceptance. There's CARMs, then competing for subspecialties/fellowships etc. I did a TON of reading that is helping me get through these thoughts e.g. what people love about their medical careers, what other health professionals dislike about their jobs (the grass always seems greener on the other side), non-clinical career options with an MD etc.and this has helped somewhat. 

 

Just like you I am very, very grateful for the opportunity I have been given, not day goes by that I do not thank my lucky stars. However I still think it's important to make sure this path is right for us.

 

And if you'd like someone to talk to, feel free to PM me. I'm going through the very same thought process.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I think you really need to explore why you want to be an MD. I think a worse situation would be dropping out in 2-3 years and wasting your own time or someone else's time who is still on the waitlist. Medicine is such a complex field, but at the end of the day it all comes down to caring for another human being. Imagine yourself as a patient with a critical illness, you want someone to look after your best interest, to really want to help you, not someone who is there doing the 9-5 to pay the bills, not someone who hates their job or is looking for a big break in another career. You want someone who is empathetic, knowledgeable, curious to figure out what is wrong with you, and passionate about really helping you get better.

I'm not trying to make this sound mean, I just really think that people sometimes get into it for the wrong reasons. IF you have passion for medicine (for caring for sick people) then you can always make time for other hobbies to keep your brain active. There are even student clubs dedicated to sports/theatre/music amongst the med school crowd. I just really think your passion for medicine should outweigh (and I think this should be true for all applicants), otherwise one could say "why don't you become an artist which you are passionate about, and help people by being a volunteer or worker or something for a hospital or nursing home or health clinic"?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Imagine yourself as a patient with a critical illness, you want someone to look after your best interest, to really want to help you, not someone who is there doing the 9-5 to pay the bills, not someone who hates their job or is looking for a big break in another career. You want someone who is empathetic, knowledgeable, curious to figure out what is wrong with you, and passionate about really helping you get better.

 

 I just really think that people sometimes get into it for the wrong reasons. IF you have passion for medicine (for caring for sick people) then you can always make time for other hobbies to keep your brain active. There are even student clubs dedicated to sports/theatre/music amongst the med school crowd. I just really think your passion for medicine should outweigh (and I think this should be true for all applicants),

 

While I agree with you that people should think carefully about medicine prior to starting school, I think your premed naivety is really showing in this post. If you know med students or physicians in the field you will quickly realize that the personal sacrifices of time+money+youth with medical school are almost incomparable to any other professional school. There is nothing wrong with questioning your choice. In fact, almost all med students do it at some time whether they admit or not. It's those who do not consider the negatives of this career that are in for a surprise when they realize that their desire to 'help people' comes at an unanticipated cost.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I've been accomplished in the performing arts. I was terrified for my first -public performance. I did fine and every time I am about to perform, I feel butterflies which really gets me into the game. I love challenges, as do you. If you were not capable of handling med school, you would not have been accepted. Many with your background have gone through med school, done fine and are wonderful physicians. Your musical creativity will continue throughout your lifetime and perhaps, you will combine careers. Meanwhile, one tiny step at a time. You will work a little hard in your first two years than others. and you will go into clerkship as equals.

 

Enjoy the journey.  :P

Link to comment
Share on other sites

 

"in for a surprise when they realize that their desire to 'help people' comes at an unanticipated cost." you go it! therefore I believe people really need to consider why they want to get into it!

 

The great docs I know do not see this as an "unanticipated cost" they see it as their drive; some people are actually excited by the idea of working out medical problems after hours, of working in a fast pace environment, of doing research, teaching medical students. They don't complain about the long hours because they love what they do. The problem is with those people who didn't consider the fact that in most specialties the demands are really high, and if you don't really love it, you will hate your life. I think the "cost" people complain about is lack of time in residency and then work...but you need to consider that. I think realizing that you will be in school longer is a no brainer, and should have been considered way prior to applying. Also Nursing and allied health are all great professions where you basically come in and leave and have a greater work / life balance.

 

If OP is most passionate about music above all other things, why not consider pursuing your passion and helping sick people by being a hospital volunteer??

Link to comment
Share on other sites

"in for a surprise when they realize that their desire to 'help people' comes at an unanticipated cost." you go it! therefore I believe people really need to consider why they want to get into it!

As in "Do I want to help sick people?" that's what being a doctor is. Do you want me to actually care about your individual case, or do you want me to regurgitate a treatment idea from a manual? Do you want me checking my watch to make sure I don't miss my gig after work? Most docs stay late. I know some great ones who go above and beyond. Medicine is their life. I believe in work life balance personally, but I also believe there are some careers where you really have your brain tuned in all the time (e.g. might read something about a patient's case before going to bed at night; might be brainstorming some ideas while driving) which may not apply to other jobs (e.g. pouring coffee). All jobs are important, but some require additional time outside of work hours. You will never be a great doc if you don't recognize, that in this career the clock does not stop at 5pm. This is what people need to consider when evaluating their situations. I know med students who fell in love the second they got into a surgical clerkship, they love the "game" of trauma surgery, they don't care that they will be up at 3am in an OR. Some people might rather be sleeping or making music at that time. To each their own, but you need to have an idea of what type of life you want to lead.

If OP is most passionate about music above all other things, why not consider pursuing your passion and helping sick people by being a hospital volunteer??

Well the obvious answer is that one is an almost guaranteed lifelong well paying career while the other is far from it.

 

Shouldn't be the only factor but it's definitely a big one. Especially if you like both.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Well the obvious answer is that one is an almost guaranteed lifelong well paying career while the other is far from it.

 

Shouldn't be the only factor but it's definitely a big one. Especially if you like both.

true, it's why people get into the professions they do. One can agree or disagree with that mentality. It's probably a tough choice for the OP. I'm wondering if OP spent equal or enough time exploring both avenues. I noted the point about an event that drew OP to med, I don't need to know the details, but sometimes if it is an intense moment, yes it can be lifechanging, but is the viewpoint skewed? I hope OP spends some time maybe volunteering or shadowing a hospital to really see how it is day to day.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Hi everybody,

I've been accepted to a Canadian med school, as somebody who is, in almost every sense of the term, "non-traditional."

 

I hold arts degrees, and have only ever taken one science course (I did well enough on the VR section of the MCAT to be accepted to a few of those 'non-trad' schools). For the past 5 years, I've been working on earning my degrees in vocal performance and art history. I was bitten by the medicine bug through early in my undergrad through a few events that had a profound effect on me. Ever since first year, I decided I was interested in medicine and would give it a shot, but was never TRULY expecting to be admitted, or at least never expecting how I would feel once I had been admitted...

 

I have a strong interest and passion for medicine, and really important reasons that have motivated my career choice, but I am absolutely TERRIFIED of starting med school. My lack of a science background makes me nervous about how I will be able to succeed in such an environment, especially without the hard-core study skills in science that others seem to have in spades.

 

Now that I've accomplished this goal that has been motivating me for years, I have looked back on my experiences and realized I maybe didn't pursue some of the things I wished I had, because of the decisions (academic and lifestyle) I had to make to make myself competitive for med school. More significantly, I fear that going into medicine fairly early in my life, without having explored a career in music and the arts will leave me to regret my decision to go into medicine down the road. I feel torn, because I know medicine is what I have wanted for a long time, but in many ways, I feel I have not exhausted the avenues I've wanted to pursue enough that I am happy to close those doors and start a new life as a med student.

 

I know this may seem selfish, or that I appear ungrateful for the wonderful privilege of being able to attend a Canadian medical school. Please forgive me for that - it isn't at all the case, or my intention. I am wondering if this angst is something other incoming or current med students have ever experienced, or felt (particularly those non-trads among us).

 

Thank you for any thoughts.

1) What are hard-core study skills in science? Medicine is not the same as undergrad science.

2) Why do medicine and the arts have to be exclusive? http://medecine.umontreal.ca/nouvelles/mathieu-gaudet-un-medecin-loin-des-stereotypes/

Link to comment
Share on other sites

There are many thoughtful posts in this thread. I really appreciate you laying your thoughts and feelings out for everyone here to see, radames. I think one of the biggest strings of thought in this thread is that you're not alone. Many of us are experiencing similar apprehensions and I think it's quite common for people in medical school and others who are well into practicing to consider if medicine is the right fit for them. Inevitably, I think this happens in any career path--and I'm an example of someone who has spent many years in one career, considered what it means to be doing it on a daily basis, and realizing what I was doing was not the right direction for me. It shows maturity and awareness of self that you're able to consider what you are considering right now and I think that it's natural to have apprehension about what is going to become real for you pretty soon. What nobody else can answer is whether you really want to take that leap.

 

I know a number of people with similar backgrounds as yours who have gone through medical school to become excellent physicians: An opera singer, an artist, a writer, and a philosopher to name a few. One of the things that makes them such excellent physicians is their ability to relate to people through experiences that many others who are pursuing or practicing medicine don't have. This is why diversity in medicine is important. You offer an interesting perspective and different journey than many other people and I think that's something to be embraced.

 

I'm an older applicant--mid-30's--and I come from an art direction background before pursuing a career change for medical school. I'm incredibly grateful for the opportunity to go down this path and I'm very excited about the possibilities that have opened up before me. But I also feel a lot of apprehension, sometimes panic, about the first day of classes coming closer. The biggest surprise for me happened the day of my acceptance and is still something I'm very conscious of daily since (I was shocked that I didn't consider it more carefully beforehand). On the day of my acceptance, I was walking down the street after work just beaming. I happened to look up at a group of people standing on the corner, waiting to cross the street. This wave of panic washed over me in that moment when I considered that at some point in time, I could be responsible for someone's life... how that would impact them, their family member's, and loved ones... etc., and I wondered in that moment if I was capable of doing that work. It's such an enormous responsibility that I hadn't so clearly considered until that moment. I'm glad I feel that because I think it's grounding. I hope one day the thoughts you're having help you to feel grounded as well.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Hi everybody,

I've been accepted to a Canadian med school, as somebody who is, in almost every sense of the term, "non-traditional."

 

I hold arts degrees, and have only ever taken one science course (I did well enough on the VR section of the MCAT to be accepted to a few of those 'non-trad' schools). For the past 5 years, I've been working on earning my degrees in vocal performance and art history. I was bitten by the medicine bug through early in my undergrad through a few events that had a profound effect on me. Ever since first year, I decided I was interested in medicine and would give it a shot, but was never TRULY expecting to be admitted, or at least never expecting how I would feel once I had been admitted...

 

I have a strong interest and passion for medicine, and really important reasons that have motivated my career choice, but I am absolutely TERRIFIED of starting med school. My lack of a science background makes me nervous about how I will be able to succeed in such an environment, especially without the hard-core study skills in science that others seem to have in spades.

 

Now that I've accomplished this goal that has been motivating me for years, I have looked back on my experiences and realized I maybe didn't pursue some of the things I wished I had, because of the decisions (academic and lifestyle) I had to make to make myself competitive for med school. More significantly, I fear that going into medicine fairly early in my life, without having explored a career in music and the arts will leave me to regret my decision to go into medicine down the road. I feel torn, because I know medicine is what I have wanted for a long time, but in many ways, I feel I have not exhausted the avenues I've wanted to pursue enough that I am happy to close those doors and start a new life as a med student.

 

I know this may seem selfish, or that I appear ungrateful for the wonderful privilege of being able to attend a Canadian medical school. Please forgive me for that - it isn't at all the case, or my intention. I am wondering if this angst is something other incoming or current med students have ever experienced, or felt (particularly those non-trads among us).

 

Thank you for any thoughts.

 

 

Congratulations on your offer.

 

On practical note, get your medical degree and do music as a hobby. I saw many superb musicians and artists, starving, but I am yet to see a starving doctor. Trust me, I have many examples of people who followed their artistic interests that got them  nowhere. Success in the early years do not necessarily translate into long-term career. Some of those people eventually get back to school to earn a degree that would get them a decent job.

 

And yet, you should do what you are passionate about. If you really have a strong interest and passion for medicine, as you say, then you'll be fine as a doctor and part-time musician. But if art is your real passion, you may regret not pursuing it further. Yet you cannot be an artist and a part-time doctor

 

I know an investment banker (Schulich grad) singing with London Philharmonic Chorus. Quite happy with the carreer and the hobby! I also know of  a doctor who was getting leading operatic parts in a professional opera house. it wasn't Met, though.

 

With regards to science, you are certainly capable to learn. You certainly know that in medicine, concepts are not hard to learn. It is amount of material and ability to navigate it that makes med school challenging.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I had a similar struggle, and I decided to do my undergrad in science instead of music. I don't regret it since I still get to play music and satisfy that urge, you probably know the urge I'm talking about.

You can always come home from your job as a doctor and play music, but you can't come home from your job as a musician and play doctor.... I mean unless you're into that ;) ;)

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Hey OP, when it comes to thinking about whether you really want it, see #2 in this article: http://www.vox.com/2015/6/5/8724555/should-i-go-to-law-school

I think that it is funny, and applicable, because you really can choose to take an artistic path, if that's what you really want.

BUT, you already have your acceptance in hand, and that's not something to throw away lightly either. If you really do want to be a doctor, then go for it. Keep your student loans as low as possible, and have a realistic plan to pay them off. That way, you will always at least have a sort of freedom to leave.

In regards to having a science background, I think that I have a little bit of insight as someone who went the opposite way. I went from a BSc in biology to a JD. 

I took electives in undergrad, and I love to read. So, I had a lot of the same knowledge of my classmates. In my last year of undergrad, I took a course on expository writing, just to make sure that I could do it, lol. I did well in the course and that quelled a lot of my fears. I did well in law school too. It sort of goes to show that there are anxieties in making the switch from one category to the other, so to speak. 

That being said, I really do not think that the two disciplines are not as different as people think they are. I have really found that the analytical skills that I gained in my BSc helped in my JD a lot. And I actually never had any problems keeping up with my peers when it came to writing. They had more practice, but it was still a non-issue.

The only caution I would give you is to understand that you might not "get" certain concepts as quickly as you might hope/expect. Learning science is a bit like reading Beowulf (or Chaucer, or Shakespeare). You need to be comfortable with the feeling of not necessarily understanding things the first time that you hear them. Your classmates might struggle a bit less with this, because they faced it in undergrad in a science context so often, sort of like learning to read the above. But, just like a science student going to English, I don't think that you will be at a disadvantage.   

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I DO have a science background but am still apprehensive about starting med. As someone mentioned above - it's a bit of "imposter syndrome" combined with good old fashioned nerves.

 

One of the best doctors I've ever had did her undergrad in opera.

 

I can't speak to everything working out fine, since I haven't even started yet myself, but I can definitely say you aren't alone in wondering if you're really cut out for this.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

omg, the 'imposter syndrome' really sticks around. 

feeling apprehensive now is completely normal.

I felt like an imposter every day for the first half of med one. Every time i checked my e-mail i was secretly afraid that i would receive something saying that they had made a mistake in admitting me and that my offer had been revoke (kinda paranoid, no?)

That passed eventually but was replaced with similar feelings before any major exam or checkpoint where I constantly felt like i wasn't doing well enough even though i always did just fine. 

 

With residency about to start next week i can't even begin to tell you how these feelings are still kicking around. One day someone is going to see that i don't actually deserve to be here and that i somehow slipped through the cracks. i think many people feel like this. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Like others have mentioned you can definitely keep music on the side. Yes med school is busy but if you are willing to sacrifice other hobbies there's no reason why you couldn't find 1-2 hours a day to practice. If you are content with a less competitive specialty there's not that much pressure in the first 2 years. Even in clerkship you can strategically choose your rotations so your schedule is less heavy (for example try radiology and surgical path on surgery rotation). I do realize this is nowhere near enough time to keep up musical skills at a full level and you will feel your skills deteriorate, which can be painful (at least I felt this way), but I think the key is to kind of narrow down your core repertoire and stick with those, and when you have free time, say in summer or on light rotations, try pick up new pieces. 

 

There always seems to be 2 or 3 in every med school class who are musically oriented, so there's a good chance you are not alone.

 

make friends with people at the music faculty may be something worth trying, I made a few friends who are music students and it helps with your morale and keep you motivated to work on your music. You already know what an artist circle is like, so why not try to join a new one? Attend recitals, opera, concerts on campus also helps.

 

If you have time look up Dr. Christopher Shih, winner of amateur Van Cliburn competition, board certified gastroenterologist and former participant in the professional Van Cliburn compeititon. Also Dr Eugene Toy, BMus, MMus graduate of Juilliard, recipient of numerous scholarships in music, and board certified in gynecological oncology.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

×
×
  • Create New...