globy321 Posted November 8, 2009 Report Share Posted November 8, 2009 Hey guys. Has anyone lived with their parents while attending graduate school? Any advice on whether it's a good idea to live with parents while attending graduate school? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kumari Posted November 8, 2009 Report Share Posted November 8, 2009 depends on your parents. lol. did you go away for undergrad? if so, you might be used to the freedom and independence and miss that if you move back home. did you not go away for undergrad? if you didn't and you want to see what it's like to live on your own, now's your chance! really though, depends on what things are like between you and your family. if you think your parents will give you the time and support to do what you need to do for school (which is a lot), why not? if it's an environment that'll let you focus on your work, that's good. also keep in mind though that commuting may take away a large part of your day. i don't know where you are and where you want to go to school, but that's another consideration. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
future_doc Posted November 8, 2009 Report Share Posted November 8, 2009 I live at home and next near, hopefully med school (in my home city) or presumably grad school. Either way, I will continue to live at home and have no living expenses at home, e.g., no food, rent, clothes and I will get some spending money. I could not afford to move out - altho if I could, I would be gone and be able to live my own independent life. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
globy321 Posted November 8, 2009 Author Report Share Posted November 8, 2009 I lived with my parents while doing undegrad and it was hell which actually gave me gray hair. I have 3 other sisters who live with my parents and I don't think I will be able to handle the noise and distractions. My dad is not supportive of me going to grad school. He is abusive towards me but he is not living in the house now but I am afraid he may come which will be very distracting and will cause me to lose focus. I never talk to my dad because he is very abusive. I don't feel that my family (my parents or my sisters) will be supportive of me going to grad school. Their problems will just make me lose focus. My mom doesn't want me to move out but I want to move out because I think that if I move out I will be more productive while in grad school. Not sure what to do. I am confused and a little lost. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jochi1543 Posted November 8, 2009 Report Share Posted November 8, 2009 Move out? LOL. Seems pretty clear to me. If your financial situation is not dire, I would definitely move out. Sometimes saving $400 a month is just not worth the stress. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rmorelan Posted November 8, 2009 Report Share Posted November 8, 2009 ahhhhh I would suggest leaving. You have to be in a supportive environment to do your best! You don't have that much to lose by leaving and a lot to gain I lived with my parents while doing undegrad and it was hell which actually gave me gray hair. I have 3 other sisters who live with my parents and I don't think I will be able to handle the noise and distractions. My dad is not supportive of me going to grad school. He is abusive towards me but he is not living in the house now but I am afraid he may come which will be very distracting and will cause me to lose focus. I never talk to my dad because he is very abusive. I don't feel that my family (my parents or my sisters) will be supportive of me going to grad school. Their problems will just make me lose focus. My mom doesn't want me to move out but I want to move out because I think that if I move out I will be more productive while in grad school. Not sure what to do. I am confused and a little lost. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
future_doc Posted November 8, 2009 Report Share Posted November 8, 2009 I lived with my parents while doing undegrad and it was hell which actually gave me gray hair........I think that if I move out I will be more productive while in grad school. Not sure what to do. I am confused and a little lost. globy, Jochi and rmorelan give excellent advice - move out, there is no reason for confusion. I guess the only issue is one relating to finance. If you can do it, even with an acceptable financial struggle, go for it. It will pay you handsome dividends in so many ways. Good luck! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
globy321 Posted November 8, 2009 Author Report Share Posted November 8, 2009 I am putting all my options on the table. One part of me is saying that I should definitely move out. One part of me is saying that you should stay because while in grad school I will be spending most of my time in the lab so I could use the my parents house to sleep. On the other hand I am afraid that if I live there I will be very stressed out and I will have to move out in the middle of grad school. On the other hand if I move out now I will have to go in debt and apply for OSAP and other loans. Has anyone been in this kind of situation or similar to this? Any thoughts or advice? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
future_doc Posted November 8, 2009 Report Share Posted November 8, 2009 If you are able to get the loans to support you, it is a small price to secure your future. Remaining at home puts your future in jeopardy in the sense that you will not be in a supportunve and nurting environment, which will affect your studies and success. Sometimes, "expensive is cheap" and your case is such an example. Think of the added expense as a necessary cost of advancing your very best interests. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rmorelan Posted November 8, 2009 Report Share Posted November 8, 2009 I am putting all my options on the table. One part of me is saying that I should definitely move out. One part of me is saying that you should stay because while in grad school I will be spending most of my time in the lab so I could use the my parents house to sleep. On the other hand I am afraid that if I live there I will be very stressed out and I will have to move out in the middle of grad school. On the other hand if I move out now I will have to go in debt and apply for OSAP and other loans. Has anyone been in this kind of situation or similar to this? Any thoughts or advice? What sort of grant/grad funding have you been provided with for your studies? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
astrogirl Posted November 8, 2009 Report Share Posted November 8, 2009 If I were you I would move out. One thing about grad school is that your schedule is very flexible, but still full of things that you have to do. It's just that you do the scheduling. People who don't understand what you are doing sometimes see this as you having a lot of free time, which can lead to them either deciding you are a slacker or deciding that you have a lot of free time to do various things for them. For example, say that one day you needed to spend 8 hours in the lab. You had planned to go in at 9, but when your alarm went off you were tired or it was snowing or something and so you decided not to go in until 11 and just stay 2 hours later. When stuff like that happens, you don't want to be where your unsupportive family can accuse you of all kinds of things like not having any real responsibilities or not taking grad school seriously and wasting your time. Loans are a small price to pay when it comes to your own sanity. You will be able to pay them off later, so don't even worry about that. I personally can't handle living with roommates. So I spend twice as much as people with roommates do on living expenses, but it's worth the extra debt to me because it makes my life so much easier and my stress levels are way lower than they were back when I lived with other people. So I would say do whatever takes to make sure that you are in the sort of environment that you need to be in to function and do well in school. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
future_doc Posted November 8, 2009 Report Share Posted November 8, 2009 Excellent advice astrogirl! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jochi1543 Posted November 9, 2009 Report Share Posted November 9, 2009 How much debt would you be going into if you moved out, and do you already have any outstanding debt? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
globy321 Posted November 9, 2009 Author Report Share Posted November 9, 2009 I am about $19,000 in debt from undegrad. I will be receiving stipend while in grad school which is around $18,000 per year. I have never lived on my own so I'm not sure if the stipend is enough to live on. I am thinking in applying for OSAP as well. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jochi1543 Posted November 9, 2009 Report Share Posted November 9, 2009 I am about $19,000 in debt from undegrad. I will be receiving stipend while in grad school which is around $18,000 per year. I have never lived on my own so I'm not sure if the stipend is enough to live on. I am thinking in applying for OSAP as well. 18,000 is enough to live on if you have roommates (in some cities, even to live alone), but that's if you don't have to pay tuition out of that. Have you considered TAing or is that already included in the stipend? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
globy321 Posted November 9, 2009 Author Report Share Posted November 9, 2009 No they take off about $6000 tuition per year out of that stipend. I am thinking in getting a bachelorette apartment which is alot cheaper than an actual apartment. There are few TA position but I heard they are really hard to get in but will try. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jochi1543 Posted November 9, 2009 Report Share Posted November 9, 2009 No they take off about $6000 tuition per year out of that stipend. I am thinking in getting a bachelorette apartment which is alot cheaper than an actual apartment. There are few TA position but I heard they are really hard to get in but will try. A bachelor apartment is great - no roommate stress. And even if you don't get a TA position, once you settle in, you could see if you find time for a part-time job to bring in another couple hundred dollars. Have you applied for an NSERC or anything along those lines? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
globy321 Posted November 9, 2009 Author Report Share Posted November 9, 2009 No I haven't applied for any scholarships but i am planning to apply for anything i am eligible when i start in january. I'm just stressed out right now with moving out because my situation is a little complicated at home. I am afraid that that my parents may disapprove of me moving out which may build tension and lead to arguments which i am trying to avoid. I don't want to burn bridges with my parents because you never know when I will need them. So I'm not sure how should I approach this??I am going to be staying in the same city though, it's not like i'm moving to a different city or province. But the problem is that my parents are not very understanding. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
future_doc Posted November 9, 2009 Report Share Posted November 9, 2009 You don't need to burn bridges, you can be as diplomatic as possible - but the attitude they adopt is in their control not yours. Moreover, they are not supportive now, so by staying there, you are already on a slippery slope and would be compromising and jeopardizing your own best interests for what? Not to p*ss them off. No, they are not supportiuve or understanding. Simply take the decision, find another place and then inform them and immediately implement your decision. Explain you need to do this to be able to focus on your studies. And they will eventually come around somewhat b/c they don't want to lose you, just control your every movement in life. They are part of the problem - if not the total problem. Just find the extra $6k. I know it is difficult. Life is difficult and unfair. So what, do what you have to do and don't waver. The tension will be on their side as will the arguments. Don't engage in arguments. They cannot argue with you if you won't be around to argue with and if when you visit, they argue, leave. There is no reason to be stressed out. Let them be stressed out. Do what you have to do. The sooner the better. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thereisnotry Posted November 9, 2009 Report Share Posted November 9, 2009 Depending on what city you're in, 12K may be enough to get by. I did my PhD in Montreal, and started the degree with a 16K stipend, minus OOP tuition (about 3K) and I managed to cover all of my living expenses, and to save $50-$100/month. I still had a social life, too, and ate just fine - it's not like I was eating pasta with tomato sauce every day and never, ever doing anything outside the lab or my apartment. Mind you, that was in 2002, but still... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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