Mom Realizes she Can't Hack Med School & Raising Children at the same time

[dr nomis]

Failing to be a medicine mom

 

The Vancouver Sun

Wed 04 Jul 2007

Page: A13

Section: Editorial

By: Maya Adam

 

It's official. After surviving 10 years as a professional ballet dancer, a Stanford University degree, a baby and almost three years of medical school, I'm giving up on my dream of practising medicine.

The bizarre thing is that I'm nearing the end of my third year of my medical program -- the end of the hard part, as people call it. Only two months to go in the gruelling "clerkship" marathon. Only five months to go before baby number two is scheduled to arrive. And I've just about had it.

This year, we rotate through every major specialty -- surgery, pediatrics, internal medicine, obstetrics, psychiatry, emergency -- the year seems never-ending. The stress of being evaluated over and over again by different preceptors, sometimes on a daily basis, is even more exhausting than the 30-hour call days.

But that's not my biggest problem. My biggest problem is that I'm trying to balance this immense task with another, equally immense one: Raising a family. And I'm fast realizing that for the first time in my life, I can't have it all.

As the rest of my class loses sleep over which residencies to apply for, I'm searching Amazon for Alternative Careers in the Medical Sciences. And while I bow out freely -- with only a slight pang of regret -- I still wonder why a profession that's starving for mature, caring and capable individuals, makes it so hard for mothers to survive.

I've just finished a two-week elective in radiology, one of the "lifestyle specialties." Apparently, once you make it, you can schedule your days to suit the rest of your life. But making it means a five-year residency, after the four-year medical degree that followed the four-year undergraduate degree. And this prospect -- of spending up to five more years in medical boot camp while my children grow up around me -- is a pill I simply can't swallow.

And it seems that residencies are all we can talk about this year. There's a question that is causing a widespread epidemic of anxiety within our class and it follows us everywhere: "Is this an area of medicine that you would consider going into?"

It sounds simple, but for me it is not. The truth is that I don't see a residency -- any residency -- as a feasible option. I've spent the past two years hanging on to medicine for dear life, while trying desperately to make my role as part-time mother a meaningful one.

I've seen the aquarium, the Planetarium and Granville Island Market on two hours of sleep. I've searched hospital gift shops for any toy with wheels, so that I might be forgiven by a two-year-old when I get home.

But now, with another baby on the way, I have so many balls in the air that I might have better luck auditioning for Cirque du Soleil than completing a medical residency.

I've been trying all year to read a single, non-required, book. So far, I'm on Chapter 2 of Bloodletting and Miraculous Cures. It tells the story of going through medical school and entering the world of medical practice. So far, I don't recognize anything from my own experiences over the past three years.

I don't think anyone's written the book about what it's like to be a mother in medical school. I bet that book hasn't been written yet because anyone who's been through it is so completely pooped by the end of the day that they couldn't pick up a pen even if she had the inspiration to write.

Don't get me wrong. I'm not complaining. I started medical school at an age that coincided with the vigorous buzzing of my biological alarm clock.

In one way, that's been great. My life before medicine has given me experiences that help me truly empathize with the patients. Being a mother has made me a natural caregiver. And for me, these have been the best parts of the medical school experience.

If I could do a part-time residency, I might even be back on board. But in this profession, you're expected to endure the same amount of hardship as the generations of doctors that came before you.

I'm pretty tough. But the guilt you feel as a mother when you're gone for entire days at a time, when you hear that your child sobbed "Mommy's coming home," unable to sleep at 3 a.m., well, it's not worth the most prestigious job on Earth.

For the first time in my life, I've felt bitter towards my work. I would make a good doctor, but I simply can't survive in a system that routinely makes me miss bathtimes and bedtimes and early morning cuddles.

On the blessed days when I get home by 5 p.m., I don't skip a beat between work time and mommy-duty. I frantically try to make those precious hours before bedtime as full and intimate as possible. The day ends only when the exhausted, well-fed and bathed little feet are finally under a quilt for the night. Then I try to keep my own eyes open for 15 minutes of "quality time" with my husband before falling asleep, mid-sentence, on his shoulder.

In this regime, dental appointments are postponed indefinitely. I admit it -- most nights I don't even floss. Studying happens over rushed lunches in the cafeteria and during weekend naptimes (after lunch is made.) There's no time for friends. There's no time to watch the news or read a paper. There's no time for me.

So I'm opting out of a career in medicine. I wouldn't survive another year of one-in-four call, especially with two little ones at home. I'll finish this degree because I've never left anything unfinished before.

But I'm tired of being a compromised mother and a compromised medical student. I want to be first-rate at the things I do. I hope I'll find something that lets me be just that.

Maya Adam is a medical student at the University of British Columbia.

[dr nomis]

Medical advice; Getting your MD opens up so many options it is dizzying; few other careers offer such flexibility and benefits

The Vancouver Sun

Wed 11 Jul 2007

Page: A11

Section: News

Byline: Susan O'Reilly

Dear Maya:

I read your column entitled "Failing to be a Medicine Mom" in The Vancouver Sun on July 4 with a growing sense of concern about whether you were getting the mentoring and support that would give you perspective at a stressful time in your progress through medical school, where you are coping with the end of your third-year courses, tending to a young child at home and half way through your second pregnancy.

You are facing the prospect of a fourth and final year in medical school, and the need to make choices about which path you need to take to become a medical practioner. You are overwhelmed by the degree of commitment you foresee, struggling with the conflict between these options and your wish to invest a greater time commitment to mothering your children. I sense you want a professional career, but the challenges in medicine right now seem daunting.

I hope you don't mind if I share some of my thoughts with you.

Please appreciate that I fully support your need to make the best decision for you, personally, and for your family. It is one of the pleasures of being a young woman that you are free to make the best choice, without regard for the opinions of people outside of your immediate family.

But I cannot resist the urge to transmit the advice I consistently gave to my own sons, and to my medical students, residents and fellows, over the years: Leave all your options open, don't close any doors, finish the job you've undertaken and don't make hasty decisions under stress; after that, do whatever you feel is best.

In your particular circumstances, I would encourage you to "finish the job" by concluding any outstanding assignments and tests in third-year medical school, so that you maintain a credit for the year.

In terms of not making any hasty decisions, I would strongly recommend that you take a year's leave of absence from medical school, inform them of the plan, then sit back and enjoy your family time. Over the course of this year, your path is likely to become increasingly clear and your energy is likely to rebound. You need to reflect carefully on the fact that kids grow up and you will need a course in life that will sustain you over the decades. You will also need to assess how much you enjoy being at home with the kids and how you might tailor your plans to accommodate both your family commitments and your need to have an intellectually engaging, satisfying career.

In my own career in medicine, I went to medical school in Ireland, in 1971, at the age of 24, after I had obtained a degree in electrical engineering and had worked in engineering for a couple of years. I entered a five-year medical school program when my first son was eight months old. I was fortunate that the university had a free creche for students' babies and my husband was very helpful at home.

The first year was scary, as I didn't know if I had the "right stuff," but I survived and felt comfortable enough to have my second baby at the end of second year. Coping with two little ones meant we needed live-in help, which was a huge financial challenge for us, but we survived. We still managed weekends of camping and hiking, and summers with holidays in the mountains.

The first year of internship was a killer that thankfully no longer exists; no human being should be subject to one night in three on call and 90-hour work weeks. Luckily, this is no longer the case. After that, specialization was quite easy, as call was taken from home and family life took priority in the evenings and weekends. I completed five years of training as an internist and medical oncologist. It could have been even easier as a family practitioner.

The joyful part of getting an MD is that a smorgasbord of choices open up. There are so many options it is dizzying. Some offer part-time careers well suited to family commitments. There are few other career choices that have such enormous flexibility and such considerable job satisfaction (with, dare I say, reasonable remuneration.)

When I look back on my life, my family and my career, what do I think were my most important decisions?

No. 1: I have two wonderful sons, who are now in their mid-30s. They are happy in their lives and they are the light of my life.

No. 2: I chose a career that has endlessly entertained, stimulated and rewarded me over the years. I feel privileged to have taken care of my cancer patients and, latterly, to have had a role in developing cancer programs to provide optimal care to all patients in British Columbia.

If it would be of any help for us to talk, please do not hesitate to get in touch with me.

Best wishes and bon chance in the decision-making process.

 

Susan O'Reilly is vice-president of cancer care at the B.C. Cancer Agency and head of medical oncology at the University of B.C.

[Jochi1543]

Interesting. However, even though I know everyone's gonna jump down my throat for saying this, I can't help but wonder what the hell she was thinking, first getting pregnant right before entering med, and then getting pregnant AGAIN already halfway in med. Why not defer the first time (or just not get pregnant) and why not wait until residency the second, when you have already had a taste of what it's like to be in med school and have a baby at home (and didn't like it)? It just seems bizarre to me. I don't know why she's blaming the medical profession for all of this, it's a demanding career and she should have made educated decisions before jumping into it. And now if she pulls out, it will have a negative impact on female applicants, especially mothers (even though they'd never openly admit it), in the future.

[b_singh]

Interesting. However, even though I know everyone's gonna jump down my throat for saying this, I can't help but wonder what the hell she was thinking, first getting pregnant right before entering med, and then getting pregnant AGAIN already halfway in med. Why not defer the first time (or just not get pregnant) and why not wait until residency the second, when you have already had a taste of what it's like to be in med school and have a baby at home (and didn't like it)? It just seems bizarre to me. I don't know why she's blaming the medical profession for all of this, it's a demanding career and she should have made educated decisions before jumping into it. And now if she pulls out, it will have a negative impact on female applicants, especially mothers (even though they'd never openly admit it), in the future.

 

i agree with this statement. many people i know, students, put their entire lives on hold before getting into med. that includes having a gf / bf, a career, hanging out with friends...etc. although i do sympathize with the difficulties this woman is encountering, at the end of the day, she chose to have the children knowing full well she was entering into a grueling profession.

 

life is all about sacrifice. you can have some things, but then you cannot have others. you cannot have it all...and anyone who thinks they can is very foolish.

 

i won't jump down your throat...rather, i would shake your hand and pat you on the back for making an excellent point.

[Adversary]

It's interesting reading about the perspective of students with dependents in medical school. In the 2009 UBC class, I heard some took a leave of absence due to pregnancy. In fact, one girl I knew went through to finish second year. I was too dumb to make the connection earlier when she kept wearing a mask in the gross anatomy lab. However, she told me she will take a year off. Still I wonder what happens after that. The child doesn't mature to independence in that time. What about those precious milestones.. those bonding moments? One of my own colleagues is currently separated from his spouse and children. I always wonder how much turmoil he must be going through.

 

I am always amazed by those who continue to thrive with personal issues. I am not just speaking about those with families, but also those going through personal challenges to health, etc.

[daprez]

Being a doctor is tough enough, but trying to be one while raising a family. Kind of hard to set your priorities there as raising a family and practicing medicine both require huge sacrifices. I kind of agree with Jochi with this as practicing medicine >>>> raising a family and the UBC student made the right choice in my mind.

 

Don't really agree with Dr. O'Reilly's response. Yes, having an MD opens up a lot of options... providing you rank high enough and score high enough on the boards. All the "lifestyle" specialities are the hardest to get, so to do that, one must sacrifice more time to become one of the top students, which is hard enough let alone raising a family. The student makes an excellent final point about not being mediocre at anything she does and if she feels like she can't devote 100% to medicine without sacrificing her family, then medicine is not right for her at this time.

[liszt]

I probably wouldn't attempt what this woman has, but I'm lucky to be starting my career at a young age. Judging from her letter, it doesn't sound like she had much of a choice to postpone having another child. A man, however, would be able to put it off, or would likely have a much easier time pursuing a career in medicine with children at home.

I'm hoping that as females make up a larger part of the field, medicine will become more work-family friendly. It was a male dominated profession for a very long time, and it certainly reflects that. I'm sure medicine will never be as work-family friendly as teaching, but a little push in that direction couldn't hurt.

[daryn]

Unfortunately, it gets increasingly difficult to have children as women get older. It's easier for the men in this sense: they can still have kids after residency etc. I empathize with the student but at the same time, I would not have the courage to drop out of medical school.

 

Also, I think, by that time, I would be IN A LOT OF DEBT. I cannot afford to drop out.

[Adversary]

I am surprised that she didn't opt for the year off. At least to contemplate her decision. It's not going to hurt her and gives her a chance to consider returning. After all, she like many of you fought tooth and nail to get in. However, after having the pleasure of enduring second year with my medical colleagues (med/dent combined program) and watching my sister endure third year medicine not too long ago, I feel chills thinking about the challenges you all face.

 

I do wonder whether her husband could not better help support her. I know the traditional boundaries are still common, but it is up to the individual. However, I do suspect that he is needed to hold up the financial side of the situation since she is going through school.

 

I always wonder and I asked my sister this before, but received no adequate answer, why do they make residences go through these extreme trials? I cannot imagine how intelligent one can be doing a 12 hour shift with on-call all night. Can they not find a better schedule or is this the only way to learn?

[liszt]

 

I always wonder and I asked my sister this before, but received no adequate answer, why do they make residences go through these extreme trials? I cannot imagine how intelligent one can be doing a 12 hour shift with on-call all night. Can they not find a better schedule or is this the only way to learn?

 

I don't really get it either. Wouldn't a week or two of floating nights be healthier and easier?

[NHL Fever]

There were 2 girls in my class who had kids, and one of them got the gold medal (top marks in the class). She was a bit older though (late 20's or early 30's) so there was the maturity factor with managing everything. The other one had her 3 kids before med, and used to be a nurse. She still did nursing shifts on weekends during med - intense!

[patiently waiting]

Not everyone gets accepted to med school straight after undergrad. Some people who decide to pursue other things after finishing undergrad may be in their 30s at the time of starting medicine. For such women, waiting until residency to have kids is not an option for obvious reasons. This particular woman was probably in a situation where her biological clock was ticking loudly, and having children was something she didn't want to sacrifice for medicine. I can understand that. I don't think she should drop out though...she should take a leave of absence at least for a year.

[Kuantum]

I can totally see where the student is coming from. A woman's biological clock cannot wait until med school is over, and clearly have a family and being a good mother is of paramount importance to her. If she wants to leave med. school because she feels she can't devote the time and effort to her family, that is totally understandable. Nonetheless, the voice of reason that is the VP is very correct in my mind. Sometimes people just need a break to step back and reprioritize; the very thing she believes she can't do now may be the very thing she regrets later on. Worse, she may resent her kids for making her give up her profession - that would be terrible.

 

Medicine is a commitment, and it sounds like she knew that before she got her self involved. It's good that she plans on finishing the degree, but taking a year off between the MD and maybe PGY-1 would be good. A well-needed and well-deserved break from this mother (at least from my perspective).

 

Also, sorry Jochi, but I think you're wrong. There are reasons life style specialties are super competitive. Having a baby in med school may seem unintelligent, but when you are what sounds like approaching 30...it may be a good idea to get the babies out before the factory starts to break down. I mean, it doesn't all end once you hit 30...but it's been documented that the chances of having a healthy baby decline.

[ploughboy]

While I in no way intend to slight Ms Adam, ranting in a major newspaper about how I was never never ever going to practice medicine probably wouldn't be my first course of action were I in her situation.

 

Let me put in a "me too" for suggesting that she take some time off (surprised she hasn't explored this option?!)

 

Dr. O'Reilly had some great points in her letter. There are a bajillion and forty things you can do when you've got a medical licence. Ms Adam is hardly the first woman to have children in medical school and residency, and undoubtably won't be the last. It would be a shame if at some point in the future she regrets, what appears to be from the outside, a rash decision.

 

pb

[Adversary]

There were 2 girls in my class who had kids, and one of them got the gold medal (top marks in the class). She was a bit older though (late 20's or early 30's) so there was the maturity factor with managing everything. The other one had her 3 kids before med, and used to be a nurse. She still did nursing shifts on weekends during med - intense!

 

There is one factor to keep in mind. Some people pick up the material faster and can endure additional stuff. I know each and every one of you are amazing because you were able to successfully get in, but even among the best, there are those better than others. Perhaps for her she needed more time to study whereas for the one mentioned above needed less.

 

Frankly, I don't know how some of you guys do it. I see all these fun events and activities going into my inbox while I sacrifice every day and night I have just trying to keep up. Oh, and these same social people are the ones getting the H's. Obviously, they either are way smarter than me (which is cool) or they have a better strategy.

[dr nomis]

While I in no way intend to slight Ms Adam, ranting in a major newspaper about how I was never never ever going to practice medicine probably wouldn't be my first course of action were I in her situation.

 

Good point ... especially considering, well, I'll put it this way:

 

Today, you read her blurb in the rag.

 

Tomorrow, you are a residency director...and, you see where this is going...she is applying to your program.

 

You'd have a lot of questions for her, I'm sure.

 

Would you let her into your residency program, even if she said she was sorry and wouldn't bail again?

[janieK]

I don't know why she's blaming the medical profession for all of this, it's a demanding career and she should have made educated decisions before jumping into it.

 

My two cents: Anyone intelligent enough to gain admission to medical school knows, on an intellectual level, that medicine is a demanding career and will require sacrifices. Nothing I read in the newspaper article gives me any sense that Ms. Adam made an uneducated decision.

 

Like Ms. Adam, I am coming to the end of the "marathon" clerkship year. You can shadow as many doctors as you like, talk to as many doctors and medical students you like, read as much of these boards as you like ( )...I believe you will not truly know what it is like, until you go through it yourself.

 

You cannot know, until that time, how physically exhausting, emotionally draining, socially isolating and demoralizing it can be (at times). You are expected to work long hours, learn vast amounts of information with little to no guidance, study in your off time, make diagnoses and treatment plans when your knowledge is still woefully inadequate and be evaluated on a (nearly) daily basis.

 

I'm a little bemused by posters, whom I suspect are premeds (or med students in the preclinical years), suggesting Ms. Adam should have known what med school (or clerkship) was going to be like. It's kinda like sex...you can *know* all about it but that's not quite the same as experiencing it!

 

I hope she makes the decision that's right for her and I wish her well. And I hope any premeds reading these boards get the chance to "walk a mile in her shoes" and experience clerkship!

 

Cheers,

Janie K.

[Julie]

Great post, Janiek

 

Although I haven't started med school yet (coming up this fall!), I was thinking the same thing... I guess we'd have to be in her shoes to understand. The rotations schedules look crazy and I can totally understand how one would feel it's taking too big a toll on family, especially with such young kids. I really agree with the idea to take some time off before making such a big decision though, as I imagine I wouldn't be thinking straight in her situation either!

 

I have to say I think some residencies' schedule is a bit much... I'd much rather, for instance, prolong my residency for 6 months or a year than work 90hrs a week for years...especially if I had a family. More importantly, I really wouldn't want to be the patient of a resident on his 89th hour that week! Scary!

 

I think the crazy schedule probably worked a bit better in the days where the dad worked and the mother took care of the family. Now that we've evolved to both parents working, well, it might be time to rethink some stuff... it used to be one parent 90hrs a week but at least the other was home full time. Now if we have one at 90hrs a week and the other at 40...there isn't much time to take care of the kids! I obviously am all in favour of having equal rights and both parents working if they chose to, but maybe the schedule should be revised... not just for the med. profession, but in general, to allow this to work better. I guess maybe it's already happening to some extend though, these things take time...

[Darla]

I don't really have an opinion to add--I can see value in almost all your arguments. What I have though is a resource. If this story rang true for you or sounds like someone you know, you may want to check out "IronDoc" by Mamta Gautum http://www.bookcoachpress.com/books/irondoc/index.html

 

She is a physician who specializes in the care of physicians, especially those who are raising families. Her approach is like a triatholon where you don't need to be the best in every event, you just need to be "good enough"

 

You buy the book directly from Dr. Gautum. Her email is mgautum@rogers.ca

 

It was recommended to me by my physician who is the student affairs chair at a med school in Ontario.

 

It's a nice, little, easy read and seems to make a lot of sense.

[ploughboy]

Would you let her into your residency program, even if she said she was sorry and wouldn't bail again?

 

If I were a residency directory (and don't worry, that ain't ever gonna happen! ) I wouldn't be bothered nearly as much by that as by her apparent approach to her problem. At least by what I can tell about her approach from 3000 km away, which may be a little unfair but is approximately the same perspective a hypothetical residency director would have.

 

She seems to have jumped straight from "clerkship really sucks" (which everybody feels, but she certainly does have more reasons than most to feel that way) to announcing to the world "That's it! I'm taking my toys and going home!", without hitting any of the intermediate steps along the way, like "Geez, I wonder if I should take a year off and refocus before doing anything rash?"

 

I appreciate that between kid and pregnancy and clerkship she's probably more than a little bit frazzled, and as a high achiever the situation must be really frustrating for her. It's her decision to make, but I have to say that I'm a little surprised by the way that she seems to have made it.

[Kuantum]

If I were a residency directory (and don't worry, that ain't ever gonna happen! ) I wouldn't be bothered nearly as much by that as by her apparent approach to her problem. At least by what I can tell about her approach from 3000 km away, which may be a little unfair but is approximately the same perspective a hypothetical residency director would have.

 

She seems to have jumped straight from "clerkship really sucks" (which everybody feels, but she certainly does have more reasons than most to feel that way) to announcing to the world "That's it! I'm taking my toys and going home!", without hitting any of the intermediate steps along the way, like "Geez, I wonder if I should take a year off and refocus before doing anything rash?"

 

I appreciate that between kid and pregnancy and clerkship she's probably more than a little bit frazzled, and as a high achiever the situation must be really frustrating for her. It's her decision to make, but I have to say that I'm a little surprised by the way that she seems to have made it.

 

This is a really good point. I'm not in medical school yet, but from past experience, it is important to give exercise every possible option before bailing out on something. Getting into med school is difficult enough and if she ever wants to go back into the field, it will be nearly impossible, if that.

[Mitch]

First let me be clear: I think the woman in question should heed the advice given her and take a year off as an LOA before actually quitting; she sounds completely overwhelmed and stressed and that is no way to make a solid decision.

However, I'm sorry Jochi and others, but I think you're just plain ignorant in this case. There is NO WAY one will know how they will feel when they have a child. And there is NO WAY one will know how they will feel when they have a second, either, despite experience with the first. There is also NO WAY anyone can know how they will feel in clerkship no matter how much information about it they have before going in, and there is NO WAY anyone can know ahead of time how they will feel about both at the same time until they do it. Further, to make sweeping generalizations about how females will be viewed based on one deciding she can't go forward right now is just ridiculous and illogical.

No, currently medicine is not a family-friendly educational process or career. However, there is NO reason why it can't be.....it is the way it is currently is based on historical beliefs, values, and assumptions which are all very male-dominated. As long as females and younger males new to the profession continue to buy in to these antiquated notions, the status quo will be upheld. Maybe this student is blaming the medical system because she has to defend herself somehow from all the criticism and judgement of others. There are other demanding professions besides medicine that have made changes, and are continuing to make changes, that are more family-friendly. But as long as uninformed, biased or judgmental people keep entering the profession and promoting these values, it won't. I'm sorry to see such attitudes amongst people on this board.

Do we judge every young man who drops out because his father is ill or his gf left him and he can't focus on school? Do we tell the student who dropped out because her mom was undergoing chemo for the second time that she shouldn't have started med school knowing her mom's cancer might relapse?

None of us can know ahead of time what life is going to throw at us and how we are going to deal with it when it does happen. We need to stop being so judgemental.

[JewelLeigh]

My two cents: Anyone intelligent enough to gain admission to medical school knows, on an intellectual level, that medicine is a demanding career and will require sacrifices. Nothing I read in the newspaper article gives me any sense that Ms. Adam made an uneducated decision.

 

Like Ms. Adam, I am coming to the end of the "marathon" clerkship year. You can shadow as many doctors as you like, talk to as many doctors and medical students you like, read as much of these boards as you like ( )...I believe you will not truly know what it is like, until you go through it yourself.

 

You cannot know, until that time, how physically exhausting, emotionally draining, socially isolating and demoralizing it can be (at times). You are expected to work long hours, learn vast amounts of information with little to no guidance, study in your off time, make diagnoses and treatment plans when your knowledge is still woefully inadequate and be evaluated on a (nearly) daily basis.

 

I'm a little bemused by posters, whom I suspect are premeds (or med students in the preclinical years), suggesting Ms. Adam should have known what med school (or clerkship) was going to be like. It's kinda like sex...you can *know* all about it but that's not quite the same as experiencing it!

 

I hope she makes the decision that's right for her and I wish her well. And I hope any premeds reading these boards get the chance to "walk a mile in her shoes" and experience clerkship!

 

Cheers,

Janie K.

My thoughts exactly. There is NO WAY anyone could imagine how brutally exhausting, mentally and physically, clerkship (and beyond) can be until you actually do it. I also would imagine that the same holds true for the role of a parent, though can't speak directly to this myself yet.

 

So I'm opting out of a career in medicine. I wouldn't survive another year of one-in-four call, especially with two little ones at home. I'll finish this degree because I've never left anything unfinished before.

Am I the only one who is interpreting this as her saying that she is actually going to finish the MD?? Sounds like she is being smart and keeping the door open, but that she doesn't plan on persuing residency training or a career as a physician beyond medical school. Thus I'm not sure why so many people are claiming that she is making such a rash decision?

 

Either way...I respect this woman's courage to actually make a change to her life so that she (and her family) can be happier. Often life has a lot of inertia, so I admire someone who can recognize this and take a brave and difficult step to change her life in a way that she believes will be better.

[Kuantum]

My thoughts exactly. There is NO WAY anyone could imagine how brutally exhausting, mentally and physically, clerkship (and beyond) can be until you actually do it. I also would imagine that the same holds true for the role of a parent, though can't speak directly to this myself yet.

 

 

Am I the only one who is interpreting this as her saying that she is actually going to finish the MD?? Sounds like she is being smart and keeping the door open, but that she doesn't plan on persuing residency training or a career as a physician beyond medical school. Thus I'm not sure why so many people are claiming that she is making such a rash decision?

 

Either way...I respect this woman's courage to actually make a change to her life so that she (and her family) can be happier. Often life has a lot of inertia, so I admire someone who can recognize this and take a brave and difficult step to change her life in a way that she believes will be better.

 

No, I mentioned that before as well. I was confused by what everyone was saying too.

 

It's good that she plans on finishing the degree, but taking a year off between the MD and maybe PGY-1 would be good.

[kaymcee]

None of us can know ahead of time what life is going to throw at us and how we are going to deal with it when it does happen.

Agreed! It seems as though some here envision their time in medical school to be in a bubble of sorts. Life happens. Trying to put it "on hold" for upwards of four years is foolish—and impossible. I applaud Maya for her tenacity and I hope she takes Dr. O'Reilly's sage advice before washing her hands of what would be an amazing career.