thatonekid Posted February 2, 2011 Report Share Posted February 2, 2011 speaking of smiles... did you guys hear about the walmart in the states a few years ago. apparently, (some) male customers were following/stalking female cashiers because they were smiling at them and saying "have a nice day"... i guess they took it as a cue that they were attracted to them, but in reality it was just their mandate from head office to smile and be polite. i think the store revoked the rule to smile at the customers. i remember hearing about this in my evolutionary psychology class... us guys can be really stupid... we're programmed to think every girl that smiles at us thinks we're the bomb! and yes, i said the bomb... Wow at the Walmart story. Then again, I once I dropped some papers in class and made the mistake(?) of saying "Thanks. That's really nice of you." to the guy who picked them up for me. I started to clue in that it was the wrong thing to say when he spent 2 weeks waiting for me before and after class. I think he took it kinda bad when I told him I was seeing someone. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Karma Posted February 2, 2011 Report Share Posted February 2, 2011 speaking of smiles... did you guys hear about the walmart in the states a few years ago. apparently, (some) male customers were following/stalking female cashiers because they were smiling at them and saying "have a nice day"... i guess they took it as a cue that they were attracted to them, but in reality it was just their mandate from head office to smile and be polite. i think the store revoked the rule to smile at the customers. i remember hearing about this in my evolutionary psychology class... us guys can be really stupid... we're programmed to think every girl that smiles at us thinks we're the bomb! and yes, i said the bomb... It's so true!!! I generally smile alot (it's just the way I am lol) and often get into trouble for that with men that think that it means more than just a friendly smile... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hking03 Posted February 3, 2011 Report Share Posted February 3, 2011 Wow at the Walmart story. Then again, I once I dropped some papers in class and made the mistake(?) of saying "Thanks. That's really nice of you." to the guy who picked them up for me. I started to clue in that it was the wrong thing to say when he spent 2 weeks waiting for me before and after class. I think he took it kinda bad when I told him I was seeing someone. that was you?!?! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thatonekid Posted February 3, 2011 Report Share Posted February 3, 2011 that was you?!?!lol. Sorry? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hking03 Posted February 3, 2011 Report Share Posted February 3, 2011 lol. Sorry? i could continue by taking this to the next level, but i won't. i just really wanted a reason to post mith's picture... i love that little guy (the picture)... mith isn't too bad either. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
future_doc Posted September 4, 2011 Report Share Posted September 4, 2011 Just be funny, confident, and yourself around women, and most of all be normal! Absolutely! I know one young man who when he saw girlsin situations which would never be repeated again (not fellow students) and he would never likely encountered them again, he simply approached them gently and confidently, explained that the sight of the girl had touched his heart, soul and body, that he would like to talk to her. He was totally sincere and both times he did this, he entered into relationships of over a year each time. Unfortunately, nothing lasts forever. He was never on the prowl, however, he creates opportunities on the spot. Of course, being intelligent, personable, charming and with charisma helped. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Curi0user Posted September 4, 2011 Report Share Posted September 4, 2011 People need to stop thinking that this is some formal event, this isn't the 1920s anymore! aha. I've "asked" guys out before because to me, it's NOT a big deal.. The best way is to ask if you guys can study together for an upcoming test or whatever. And eventually you guys get comfortable enough to exchange numbers, text, and hanging out becomes something you don't even need to worry about because it's so natural. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
leap87 Posted September 4, 2011 Report Share Posted September 4, 2011 Absolutely! I know one young man who when he saw girlsin situations which would never be repeated again (not fellow students) and he would never likely encountered them again, he simply approached them gently and confidently, explained that the sight of the girl had touched his heart, soul and body, that he would like to talk to her. He was totally sincere and both times he did this, he entered into relationships of over a year each time. Unfortunately, nothing lasts forever. He was never on the prowl, however, he creates opportunities on the spot. Of course, being intelligent, personable, charming and with charisma helped. If someone did that to me, I'd thank them for their kindness, but no thanks. Seriously?! These kinds of compliments don't really work anymore. Neither does staring for long periods of time. lol. It's not a big deal to ask a guy/girl out. Just go up to them and start with small talk, and then take it from there. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Let'sGo1990 Posted September 4, 2011 Report Share Posted September 4, 2011 Just be confident. It's really all it takes. In my experience, a woman wants a man, not a boy. That means it's good to be a gentleman, but not a pushover. Call her out if she plays any games, etc. Eye contact and proper body language are good ways to portray confidence, and I remember learning in first year psychology that people are more likely to be attracted to you if you maintain eye contact with them and their pupils dilate (this could also be due to lighting). Besides that, it's not about what you say, it's about how you say it. And don't always listen to what she says. Pay more attention to her actions. Same for you. Let your actions do the speaking. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lostintime Posted September 4, 2011 Report Share Posted September 4, 2011 Everyone says they want someone who doesn't play mind games. And really it is true. People have too fragile ego's that they need all this b.s. about making it look like they're not desperate etc. If I actually liked someone and they were that into me to just tell me instead of playing aorund and beating around the bush, I would be really happy. But no, people send signals and play around even when they're not serious. I never understood that but someone pointed out to me that it's so they can stroke their ego when they get a positive response and boost their confidence. How lovely. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aaronjw Posted September 4, 2011 Report Share Posted September 4, 2011 Everyone says they want someone who doesn't play mind games. And really it is true. People have too fragile ego's that they need all this b.s. about making it look like they're not desperate etc. If I actually liked someone and they were that into me to just tell me instead of playing aorund and beating around the bush, I would be really happy. But no, people send signals and play around even when they're not serious. I never understood that but someone pointed out to me that it's so they can stroke their ego when they get a positive response and boost their confidence. How lovely. Dating and courtship IS a game. Each person doing something to hook the other while trying not to give up too much of themselves. It sad but true. Also, any woman who says they don't like drama run far far away. The ones who say it have been the ones, in my experience (from my own relationships and observing my friends) that create the most drama lol. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lostintime Posted September 5, 2011 Report Share Posted September 5, 2011 I disagree lol. I think if someone was actually serious about the person, they would just say it straight out as opposed to playing a game. It's only when they're iffy/unsure/somewhat interested that they do all these games. Because that person is not worth enough for them to lose their ego over. It's not really fun on the receiving end when you get burnt by someone who treated you like a new video game. Great, it's nice for that person now that the excitement is over and they know that they have won against the "challenge". But as with most video games, they get bored of it and move onto the next exciting one. I don't know, I never lead anyone on who I have no interest in at all or have no intention of having a serious relationship if I think they may feel more strongly. There's something different about being playful with dating and courtship versus completely treating everything like a game and not caring about other people's feelings. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Let'sGo1990 Posted September 5, 2011 Report Share Posted September 5, 2011 Dating and courtship IS a game. Each person doing something to hook the other while trying not to give up too much of themselves. It sad but true. Also, any woman who says they don't like drama run far far away. The ones who say it have been the ones, in my experience (from my own relationships and observing my friends) that create the most drama lol. A lot of the times you can tell what type of girl she is by looking at her general behaviour. If she's constantly complaining, talking about people behind their backs, obsessed with facebook, etc. there's a pretty good chance she'll be a drama queen. Of course, there are always exceptions. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aaronjw Posted September 5, 2011 Report Share Posted September 5, 2011 Games doesnt necessarily mean leading people on or being flakey about intentions. I disagree lol. I think if someone was actually serious about the person, they would just say it straight out as opposed to playing a game. It's only when they're iffy/unsure/somewhat interested that they do all these games. Because that person is not worth enough for them to lose their ego over. It's not really fun on the receiving end when you get burnt by someone who treated you like a new video game. Great, it's nice for that person now that the excitement is over and they know that they have won against the "challenge". But as with most video games, they get bored of it and move onto the next exciting one. I don't know, I never lead anyone on who I have no interest in at all or have no intention of having a serious relationship if I think they may feel more strongly. There's something different about being playful with dating and courtship versus completely treating everything like a game and not caring about other people's feelings. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
leap87 Posted September 5, 2011 Report Share Posted September 5, 2011 I disagree lol. I think if someone was actually serious about the person, they would just say it straight out as opposed to playing a game. It's only when they're iffy/unsure/somewhat interested that they do all these games. Because that person is not worth enough for them to lose their ego over. It's not really fun on the receiving end when you get burnt by someone who treated you like a new video game. Great, it's nice for that person now that the excitement is over and they know that they have won against the "challenge". But as with most video games, they get bored of it and move onto the next exciting one. I don't know, I never lead anyone on who I have no interest in at all or have no intention of having a serious relationship if I think they may feel more strongly. There's something different about being playful with dating and courtship versus completely treating everything like a game and not caring about other people's feelings. I disagree. What if you're shy or you're scared of getting hurt, but genuinely like the person a whole ton? What if you think they'd never date you? It takes a lot of *pardon my words* balls to go up to someone and be like "Hey... I like you. Want to go out?" And this is the case ESPECIALLY when you like someone a lot. It has happened to me before where I couldn't utter a word around that person and every time I tried to say something, it just didn't come out. So, it is easier to play games because then you get a clue as to whether this person might like you or not, which in turn boosts your confidence and ego to ask them out in the end. Now games in a relationship... that's a whole different story. That I am against. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lostintime Posted September 5, 2011 Report Share Posted September 5, 2011 Fair enough. But logically if you test the waters and the person already gives you positive feedback, then I think it would make sense to keep moving forward rather than halt. If someone gets bored everytime they get positive feedback, that in my opinion, is just someone who is over their head in games. And then when they want to stir up things again just because, they come to test the waters again to boost their ego. It makes sense if the ego boost is to get confidence to move forward. But if the ego boost is just part of this whole fun "game" whenever they need a confidence boost but has no intention of actually doing anything with it, then I think it's kind of stupid. And by definition, I thought games meant "not really serious". I think testing waters doesn't necessarily mean playing "games". It just means not being so direct. But what I described above is more like playing games. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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