Prenups

[mcater2006]

YAY VOYAGER!

 

I would gladly sacrifice everything to be Captain Janeway's lover. If I were Chakotay, I would've probably "done it" with Captain Janeway when the both of us were stuck on that planet.

[mcater2006]

I didn't read the whole thread but I love these debates and thought as a mother of 2 who is applying to med school, I should put in my 2 cents. I got married in my last semester of undergrad and we went in fully. We don't have a prenup, we have the same bank account and we co-own everything we have. Right now, my husband would be the looser if I left, once I'm an MD, I would be (financially speaking). I think Law had it right. You're either in or you're not. Marriage is a HUGE commitment and it takes a lot of work and is alot harder than anything you've imagined. As for kids, well it's even harder than that. I do have one up on most of you though; I already don't sleep much so I'm used to that. I'm now 27 and with the kids it makes me a non-trad applicant. I already work full time doing research in resp. medicine, but I still get a lot of heat for wanting to go to medical school. A lot of people have basically blamed me of abandoning my children. It's completely ridiculous. I don't see my kids every hour of every day, but I make a point to see them at some point everyday and to make that time quality time. Sure once they're in bed and I've cleaned up and studied for the MCAT and it's now 12:30, I'm beat. But I wouldn't have it any other way. Not every woman is satisfied being a homemaker. And not every woman is satisfied being a career woman. Balancing family and work is very hard. But it is possible and as long as you are real and true to yourself and loved ones, it can work. Not everyone is at the same place on the scale. The key is the be where it works for you and your family. Besides, this allows my husband to spend time with the kids by himself and I don't now any other man who's as great of a Dad as he is. A word of advice: what you think you want now is probably completely different than what you will want once you are married and have kids. So don't be so quick to judge others.

 

Another question for you, supermom. This one I asked my own mom many times. But thought I would like to get the opinion of other people:

 

Why do it? What is the point of having kids?

 

I mean, aren't we faced with a global overpopulation problem right now? So by having kids, isn't it exacerbating the overpopulation problem?

 

I love babies. But when babies cry endlessly, I find that I am annoyed by it, much as my parents are also annoyed by the sound of crying babies now. How were you able to overcome that? Same thing with unruly children (but I'm sure you have the sweetest kids since you are the supermom).

 

But allow me to pay my deepest respect to all responsible moms like you and my mom here.

[mcater2006]

Luckily, we don't live in feudal times.

 

Unluckily, my country of origin is still semi-communist, so that's not a lot better than feudal. All the hot orientals are in my country of origin. Ergo, I don't get to date oriental hotties.

 

 

 

I have two parents as well, and I'm pretty sure that they'd rather live rural as well. I think it is in human nature to pine for the things we cannot get.

 

And to instantly regret it the moment we get it, right?

[avenir001]

You are really like my mom, the superwoman who, despite all odds, passed her TOEFL test and plowed a way for her whole family (i.e. me) to come to North America and start a new life.

 

But as Arandill points out, most people in my generation (Generation Y I think) don't have this much stamina, myself included. So that is why I'm always on the losing side in an argument with my mom -- she is simply a much greater person than I am. I stand in her shadow (or maybe I don't even worth that much). I am forever be-humbled and feel miniscule in her presence.

 

aaww..it's really really great to see someone appreciate their mom like u do...i don't think most people appreciate their parents enuf these days..and it's really sad.

but i do..and i intend to do a lot more in the future.

[Athina021]

Well... I put a lot of thought into this and I think I would like you to sign a prenuptial agreement.

 

Her: A pre-nup?

 

Yeah.

 

[bursts out laughing]

 

What's so funny?

 

Her: You don't have any money. I make more money than you do. Ha ha. Yeah, gimme the papers I'll sign 'em.

 

 

Hahaha! Yay Seinfeld!

[mcater2006]

Hey. Your mother sounds like my mother. Maybe we're related.

 

In more ways than the both of us realize.

[The Law]

I would gladly sacrifice everything to be Captain Janeway's lover. If I were Chakotay, I would've probably "done it" with Captain Janeway when the both of us were stuck on that planet.

 

Yeah, geez - sexual tension much?! haha

[ghostgirl123]

You are really like my mom, the superwoman who, despite all odds, passed her TOEFL test and plowed a way for her whole family (i.e. me) to come to North America and start a new life.

 

But as Arandill points out, most people in my generation (Generation Y I think) don't have this much stamina, myself included. So that is why I'm always on the losing side in an argument with my mom -- she is simply a much greater person than I am. I stand in her shadow (or maybe I don't even worth that much). I am forever be-humbled and feel miniscule in her presence.

 

don't be so hard on yourself, you got into U of T, that counts for something. Actually, a lot of things in this forum

[clobliss]

Another question for you, supermom. This one I asked my own mom many times. But thought I would like to get the opinion of other people:

 

Why do it? What is the point of having kids?

 

I mean, aren't we faced with a global overpopulation problem right now? So by having kids, isn't it exacerbating the overpopulation problem?

 

I love babies. But when babies cry endlessly, I find that I am annoyed by it, much as my parents are also annoyed by the sound of crying babies now. How were you able to overcome that? Same thing with unruly children (but I'm sure you have the sweetest kids since you are the supermom).

 

But allow me to pay my deepest respect to all responsible moms like you and my mom here.

 

Having kids is not a rational decision at all. Neither is marriage mind you. As I am writting this, I can hear my 2 yr old boy rolling around in his bed because he can't go to sleep, but he is too afraid that I wont take him to the pool tomorrow if he gets out of bed. It's actually really funny. People choose to have kids because they fill a gap in their lives that nobody else can fill.

 

As for overpopulation, that's why I only have 2 kids. We replaced ourselves, that's it. When babies cry endlessly, it is very annoying and to a parent, it's even worse because you can feel their pain. Luckily, neither of my kids had colic. But my daughter being only 10 mo old, was crying not that long ago. It's hard, but when they grap your face in their little hands and give you a hug, or when your toddler runs to you and tells you how much they love you, it's all worth it. Trust me, my kids are no angels and I'm no supermom. But somehow, it all works out.

 

Like I said before, life is all about balancing your priorities. I love having a family, but I wouldn't be happy without a fulfilling career and vice-verca. If you don't want kids, then don't have them. If you want them later in life, then wait.

 

Thank you for the nice words thouh. It's nice to have that instead of judging as I am used to.

[avenir001]

it feels nice even if the baby or toddler's not yours, and you cuddle them, and they have their little starfish-hands and tug on your shirt and just relax... and they feel so warm and cuddly...

 

jochi was telling me just this the other day...she feels exactly the same way.

[lostintime]

Or holding hands with them....soo cute. Aw, I miss my baby cousin. Except he's not a baby anymore. He's 7 years old.

[Wolvenstar]

Having kids is not a rational decision at all. Neither is marriage mind you. As I am writting this, I can hear my 2 yr old boy rolling around in his bed because he can't go to sleep, but he is too afraid that I wont take him to the pool tomorrow if he gets out of bed. It's actually really funny. People choose to have kids because they fill a gap in their lives that nobody else can fill.

 

As for overpopulation, that's why I only have 2 kids. We replaced ourselves, that's it. When babies cry endlessly, it is very annoying and to a parent, it's even worse because you can feel their pain. Luckily, neither of my kids had colic. But my daughter being only 10 mo old, was crying not that long ago. It's hard, but when they grap your face in their little hands and give you a hug, or when your toddler runs to you and tells you how much they love you, it's all worth it. Trust me, my kids are no angels and I'm no supermom. But somehow, it all works out.

 

Like I said before, life is all about balancing your priorities. I love having a family, but I wouldn't be happy without a fulfilling career and vice-verca. If you don't want kids, then don't have them. If you want them later in life, then wait.

 

Thank you for the nice words thouh. It's nice to have that instead of judging as I am used to.

 

I am glad to hear that your family supports you in your decision to go back to school, and hopefully get into med school. Lol I totally agree that kids can be hell. I haven't had any of my own yet, but two of the woman that I was seriously involved with did. It doesn't matter if they are your own, once you start seeing them on a daily basis they feel like it.

 

As for their being no rational thought behind having kids, maybe not on a concious level. But it's an instinctual think, to have kids, driven by survival of the species and the instinctual (and usually subconcious) belief that your genetics are better than others. Over-population is only a problem because we as a global community can't get our **** together and make the world a better place. If countries wanted to work together I think we could end world hunger, but I don't know if that will ever happen.

 

 

 

 

 

Now that we've totally derailed this thread, why not derail it a little more?

 

I feel odd sometimes. Maybe it's my "premed" personality. I can't seem to make a relationship work. My last one was seven months. My one previous was a year. So they're not like two month stints, but everything just seems to fall apart in about May. Is that just because of May 15 anxieties and I'm all anal in the month leading up to it?

 

I dunno. Everyone else seems to have long, happy relationships and I really want one of those. Maybe it's because they're not pre-med. Or have partners that are more supportive around April/May.

 

Actually. It feels weird posting this on pm101, but I think you guys know me well enough. Haha.

 

Aranndil,

 

Don't feel too bad about relationships not working out. We are all still young...if only at heart for some, lol. I think alot of people put too much emphasis on just being in a relationship rather than being in a relationship with the right person. I realized back in the day that I didn't want to date random people who it wouldn't last with, so I took some time to do soul searching and got a better understanding of who I am and what I want. I totally understand how being single can suck, but it's better to take the time to figure out what you want in a person than to get into crappy relationships.

[rogerroger]

Now that we've totally derailed this thread, why not derail it a little more?

 

I feel odd sometimes. Maybe it's my "premed" personality. I can't seem to make a relationship work. My last one was seven months. My one previous was a year. So they're not like two month stints, but everything just seems to fall apart in about May. Is that just because of May 15 anxieties and I'm all anal in the month leading up to it?

 

I dunno. Everyone else seems to have long, happy relationships and I really want one of those. Maybe it's because they're not pre-med. Or have partners that are more supportive around April/May.

 

Actually. It feels weird posting this on pm101, but I think you guys know me well enough. Haha.

 

 

It isn't all peachy if your significant other is a pre-med. My gf and me met in first year of our undergrad. We have been though all the pre-med exams and MCATs together etc. But doing so with your gf/bf adds a whole new dimension to the med school admissions process. Sure you have some extra emotional support. But the studying, the academic stressing, insane ECs can really stress a relationship when you times it by two.

 

Plus the actual application process is extra brutal because of things like, where will we geographically be? What is happen if one of us doesnt get in? etc etc...

[Wolvenstar]

I figured i would post this question here instead of starting a new thread which has nothing to do with medschool...but in a way with medicine but not really, lol.

 

Say you and your significant other (married, commonlaw, dating) have a kid. Whose last name does the child get?

[avenir001]

how about Jolie-Pitt

[worriedandwaiting]

I think that depends on whether the wife chooses to take her husband's last name or if she keeps her own maiden name. If the wife and husband share the same last name, the children, naturally, will get the same last name.

 

If the parent's dont ( especially in comon-law, dating), then thats when the confusion arises.

[jelly31]

It isn't all peachy if your significant other is a pre-med. My gf and me met in first year of our undergrad. We have been though all the pre-med exams and MCATs together etc. But doing so with your gf/bf adds a whole new dimension to the med school admissions process. Sure you have some extra emotional support. But the studying, the academic stressing, insane ECs can really stress a relationship when you times it by two.

 

Plus the actual application process is extra brutal because of things like, where will we geographically be? What is happen if one of us doesnt get in? etc etc...

 

Wow, that IS crazy. It was bad enough when it was just me. Luckily my bf has nothing to do with academia whatsoever.

[Wolvenstar]

how about Jolie-Pitt

 

actually I prefer the Bran-gelina. I think it has a nice ring to it.

[mcater2006]

I figured i would post this question here instead of starting a new thread which has nothing to do with medschool...but in a way with medicine but not really, lol.

 

Say you and your significant other (married, commonlaw, dating) have a kid. Whose last name does the child get?

 

I took on my mother's last name.

[mcater2006]

I think that depends on whether the wife chooses to take her husband's last name or if she keeps her own maiden name. If the wife and husband share the same last name, the children, naturally, will get the same last name.

 

If the parent's dont ( especially in comon-law, dating), then thats when the confusion arises.

 

There are also families now where husband takes on wife's last name. So the whole family ends up taking the wife's last name. (Most famous example being the 1995 hit anime Neon Genesis Evangelion, where the son Shinji Ikari and the dad Gendo Ikari took on the last name of mom/wife Yui Ikari). I'm seeing that more and more in the families of my young profs.

 

I personally think that taking on wife's family name is pretty romantic. I wouldn't mind taking on my wife's last name, but I don't know how comfortable my parents would feel with that decision (my dad certainly will not be comfortable with that).

[mcater2006]

I haven't had any of my own yet, but two of the woman that I was seriously involved with did. It doesn't matter if they are your own, once you start seeing them on a daily basis they feel like it.

 

Do you mean that had you married one of those woman, you wouldn't mind being a breadwinner and provide for both the woman and her child, even though the child isn't yours?

 

The reason I ask is that, judging from this post and the post where you asked about last names of kids, I think I may have reached some premature and prejudiced conclusion about you being some kind of macho sexist guy -- as reflected in some of my earlier posts directed to you in a rather harsh language. If that is indeed the case, then it's time for me to apologize and for us to make amends.

[mcater2006]

*makes airplane noises*

 

Pffft!Pfft! BURRRRRRRRRRRRR!

 

still wanna be related to me?

 

 

How do you know if I don't fart just as much?

 

Oh, and congratulations on getting into UA med! That is quite an accomplishment! You said earlier that you envisioned living pastorally with open skies, this seems to be your dream come true.

[mcater2006]

Yeah, geez - sexual tension much?! haha

 

Yeah, high amounts of unrelieved sexual tension. Very good Freudian psychoanalysis there Law!

[mcater2006]

don't be so hard on yourself, you got into U of T, that counts for something. Actually, a lot of things in this forum

 

Thanks! Even though 98% (50% my mom + 36% my dad + 12% various sources of help including premed101) of my getting into U of T is not my own merit, but the success still feels rather intoxicating for me!

[mcater2006]

As for overpopulation, that's why I only have 2 kids. We replaced ourselves, that's it.

 

I see. Good point!