axialpac Posted November 22, 2011 Report Share Posted November 22, 2011 ____________________ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
McMarauder Posted November 22, 2011 Report Share Posted November 22, 2011 Sounds like some former friends of mine. Ditch them. The great thing about university is that there's so many people around you. It's not like high school where you see the same people everyday, and you feel obligated to hang out with them. You're an adult now, so if people don't meet your criteria for friendship, then it's not worth your time. Don't hang onto people just because you don't want to be alone. There's tons of opportunities to make friends on campus. Just get involved as much as you can. Edit: I lived at home in first year, and the only way I made friends was by joining a club. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bpatient Posted November 22, 2011 Report Share Posted November 22, 2011 Yes, ditch them...worry about helping yourself first before you help others. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
futurepediatric Posted November 22, 2011 Report Share Posted November 22, 2011 I know people may say to talk it out or whatnot but I'd say to leave them. My friends always pulled that stuff on people they didn't care about(though they didn't aleays do well as in ur friend's case lol) and they were basically just using them. I can't even believe that you're talking about 'friends' lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
markov79 Posted November 22, 2011 Report Share Posted November 22, 2011 ya same as above... but for "diplomacy" reasons, you might not want to immediately ditch them. might want to find another circle first so you aren't just twiddling your thumbs by yourself. still, if as you say the detriments they offer vastly outweigh the benefits, then peacing right away might not be that bad of a choice after all. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Let'sGo1990 Posted November 22, 2011 Report Share Posted November 22, 2011 Screw them. Treat yourself better than that. And yes, joining clubs is a good way to meet people if you are an active member. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
markov79 Posted November 22, 2011 Report Share Posted November 22, 2011 lol at rapid, unanimous response Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
future_doc Posted November 22, 2011 Report Share Posted November 22, 2011 Absolutely ditch these unworthy users. Your obligation is to be the best you can be not to improve others. Your responsibility is only to yourself and you are NOT responislbe for other students who want to tap into your generosity with no reciprication. Better to be a loner as I was in undergrad than allow others to roll over you. Take care of yourself only. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Robin Hood Posted November 22, 2011 Report Share Posted November 22, 2011 Throw them in the trash bin, and try to avoid premeds, most of them want to go into med for the money, and they are ready to do anything to win the lottery. I don't know if this goes here, but I need some advice. Ok, so I have this growing issue with my "friends". First of all, I feel like I'm their ****ing wikipedia or something. Whenever they need help with ANYTHING, I'm the first they text but guess what, when I'm the one that needs help no one helps me even if they have the answers--they would give me excuses like "i haven't started the assignment yet" or "I haven't got that far yet" etc etc. I'm the type of person who doesn't mind helping people without anything in return, but this has really gotten under my skin lately, and especially with the last chemistry lap report where I got 14.5/25. This year, they are marking the lab reports EXTRA hard and I mean really hard. They don't let the TAs mark them, instead they have special "markers". So anyways, I was having trouble with the calculations part and when I texted them, they didn't reply!!!!!! And now she (one of them) messaged me that she did really well on her lab report when I did horrible. I'm really sick and tired of them and at this point I want nothing to do with them. Should I just ditch them and find better friends that actually value me? Like I've been reading on this forum how some people have these "close" circle of friends who help each other and work together on assignments etc. etc. and that's definitely not the friendship dynamic that I have. Also this this is my first year, where do people meet each other?? I want to join some student groups/clubs next semester, would that be a good way to meet new people?? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Outlaw Posted November 22, 2011 Report Share Posted November 22, 2011 Throw them in the trash bin, and try to avoid premeds, most of them want to go into med for the money, and they are ready to do anything to win the lottery. I think this whole "premed" cliché needs to stop. Everybody thinks they are so much better and above the premed label. Sure there are people like that but this is another ridiculous generalization. Most people on here are or were premeds, like it or not. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
future_doc Posted November 22, 2011 Report Share Posted November 22, 2011 As a first year student, GPA - your GPA - should be your only priority. You need to avoid all distractions that will negatively impact your GPA and this includes needy students, a needy s.o., partying, etc. Once you have your academics under control, you can spread your wings. At this stage of the game, I would not involve myself in volunteering if I were you. I started my volunteering the summer after first year. We each are different. I did not party during the academic year, I was a loner and did not get to know or become involved with other premeds and my priority focus was my studies. I enjoyed the company of like minded individuals during ECs and volunteering but did not see them outside of these activities. It worked for me and I achieved my goal of med school. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
axialpac Posted November 22, 2011 Author Report Share Posted November 22, 2011 Ok thanks guys, I've made up my mind. I've been distancing myself from them for a while now but still talk and text them. But now I'm really over them. Especially one of them--I honestly feel that sometimes she has some nefarious underlying purpose to make me feel bad because I always get higher marks than her. Anyways, I started with deleting their numbers off of my phone so I won't reply to them if they text or call. I can live with being friendless till next semester when hopefully I'll make some new (and lasting) friendships. And god, the "classic premed", I've already experienced one of those types of people--never again!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
future_doc Posted November 22, 2011 Report Share Posted November 22, 2011 Amputate them all. They all have nefarious purposes and you don't need them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
apache Posted November 22, 2011 Report Share Posted November 22, 2011 ditch the ****ers, i love to help people, and i usually do more helping than asking for help, but everyone i know who i've helped has had my back when i was in a tough situation and they were able to help... and that's what it's all about, not necessarily the fact that its a perfectly reciprocal relationship, but that you've both got each others backs when you're in a position to help (i.e. i've always edited my friend from china's business proposals for free, but he always lets me stay at his place when i go to calgary, and when we go travelling he covers 70 percent of the hotel cost because he's loaded, and i'm poor... it's about the fact that we know we have each others back when we have the ability to help each other) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
axialpac Posted November 22, 2011 Author Report Share Posted November 22, 2011 As a first year student, GPA - your GPA - should be your only priority. You need to avoid all distractions that will negatively impact your GPA and this includes needy students, a needy s.o., partying, etc. Once you have your academics under control, you can spread your wings. At this stage of the game, I would not involve myself in volunteering if I were you. I started my volunteering the summer after first year. We each are different. I did not party during the academic year, I was a loner and did not get to know or become involved with other premeds and my priority focus was my studies. I enjoyed the company of like minded individuals during ECs and volunteering but did not see them outside of these activities. It worked for me and I achieved my goal of med school. I remember reading a post of yours similar to this, and it's honestly what I'm focusing on. I've put off joining clubs/groups and volunteering till next semester and next summer (respectively) in order to keep my GPA in check. Thanks for writing this out again--now I know I did the right thing for ME and that I'm better off! ditch the ****ers, i love to help people, and i usually do more helping than asking for help, but everyone i know who i've helped has had my back when i was in a tough situation and they were able to help... and that's what it's all about, not necessarily the fact that its a perfectly reciprocal relationship, but that you've both got each others backs when you're in a position to help (i.e. i've always edited my friend from china's business proposals for free, but he always lets me stay at his place when i go to calgary, and when we go travelling he covers 70 percent of the hotel cost because he's loaded, and i'm poor... it's about the fact that we know we have each others back when we have the ability to help each other) That's precisely what has been getting under my skin. I don't ask for help often, but when I do it's usually when I've exhausted all of my other "help lines" I suppose you could call them (it's google of course ) .. but I'd expect them to show some sympathy or desire to help me, but of course not. I hope I make friends with someone like the guy you're friends with!! You're really lucky. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
future_doc Posted November 22, 2011 Report Share Posted November 22, 2011 Your ONLY responsibility is to yourself. Your are accountable for your actions or inaction and you will gain or suffer by your deeds. Nobody else walks in your shoes or really cares about you other than your parents and they cannot really help, it is up to you. Be careful about taking on activities next semester, learn to crawl before you try to walk or run. GPA stays with you forever. Good luck! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ubcMDhopeful Posted November 22, 2011 Report Share Posted November 22, 2011 I think this whole "premed" cliché needs to stop. Everybody thinks they are so much better and above the premed label. Sure there are people like that but this is another ridiculous generalization. Most people on here are or were premeds, like it or not. If there was a like button I would definately use it on this post! I totally agree. A lot of people close many avenues for themselves by following the premed generalization. I have alot of `premed` friends who have been very helpfull for me and vice versa. I think those type of people who take advantage exist everyone but get noticed more in the premed group. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PhoenixFlare500 Posted November 22, 2011 Report Share Posted November 22, 2011 If it looks like a duck, quacks like a duck, and swims on the surfaces of ponds like a duck, its a duck. There is a difference between undergrad students who are trying to get into medical school and "premeds". FOr instance: My undergrad experience was peppered with multitudes of annoying front-row premeds who would step over their own mother's dead body to get face-time with the professors in hopes of obtaining references. These same premeds tend to look down on anyone who does not follow their premed zeal, and are aghast if anyone who isn't "premed" surpasses them. All they can talk about is getting into med. Their biggest failure consists of getting a B instead of an A in a course. These are shallow shallow individuals looking for external affirmation of worth through status and income or through the approval of their parents. These are people who would consider suicide if they did not get into med. These are "premeds". I'm guessing that was mostly in first year when at least half of the science students want to do med school right off the bat, then realize they don't want to put in the work. I wouldn't exactly call them premeds. Looking at it from another direction, there are people that have no aspirations of being in med that do this whole front row thing. I saw no such relationship in my undergrad experience. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Outlaw Posted November 22, 2011 Report Share Posted November 22, 2011 If it looks like a duck, quacks like a duck, and swims on the surfaces of ponds like a duck, its a duck. There is a difference between undergrad students who are trying to get into medical school and "premeds". FOr instance: My undergrad experience was peppered with multitudes of annoying front-row premeds who would step over their own mother's dead body to get face-time with the professors in hopes of obtaining references. These same premeds tend to look down on anyone who does not follow their premed zeal, and are aghast if anyone who isn't "premed" surpasses them. All they can talk about is getting into med. Their biggest failure consists of getting a B instead of an A in a course. These are shallow shallow individuals looking for external affirmation of worth through status and income or through the approval of their parents. These are people who would consider suicide if they did not get into med. These are "premeds". This is exactly what I meant by ridiculous generalization. Believe it or not, students trying to get into med are premed whether they act like you described or act respectful and civil towards others. Actually the premed you described is pretty rare among the premeds i have met. People who think they are so special and above everyone else just because they don't act like a tool (or your cliché premed) is what I have a problem with. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ubcMDhopeful Posted November 22, 2011 Report Share Posted November 22, 2011 If it looks like a duck, quacks like a duck, and swims on the surfaces of ponds like a duck, its a duck. There is a difference between undergrad students who are trying to get into medical school and "premeds". FOr instance: My undergrad experience was peppered with multitudes of annoying front-row premeds who would step over their own mother's dead body to get face-time with the professors in hopes of obtaining references. These same premeds tend to look down on anyone who does not follow their premed zeal, and are aghast if anyone who isn't "premed" surpasses them. All they can talk about is getting into med. Their biggest failure consists of getting a B instead of an A in a course. These are shallow shallow individuals looking for external affirmation of worth through status and income or through the approval of their parents. These are people who would consider suicide if they did not get into med. These are "premeds". I only know a few people like this and I would not consider them a classical "premed" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
McMarauder Posted November 22, 2011 Report Share Posted November 22, 2011 Anyways, I started with deleting their numbers off of my phone so I won't reply to them if they text or call. I can live with being friendless till next semester when hopefully I'll make some new (and lasting) friendships. I laughed when I read this because I did the exact same thing fairly recently after graduating from University. Did you also delete them from facebook too? Let me warn you, people (even ones you haven't spoken to in a year) get immaturely PISSED OFF when you delete them off facebook. Edit: I forgot to mention this in my earlier post, but even though the number of people in university is large, the proportion of *******s will stay the same (hence my post-convocation facebook and cellphone cleaning). If you get bad vibes from anyone else you meet, trust your gut and steer clear. You're going to find people like this everywhere you go, so may as well learn how to deal with it now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
axialpac Posted November 23, 2011 Author Report Share Posted November 23, 2011 I laughed when I read this because I did the exact same thing fairly recently after graduating from University. Did you also delete them from facebook too? Let me warn you, people (even ones you haven't spoken to in a year) get immaturely PISSED OFF when you delete them off facebook. Edit: I forgot to mention this in my earlier post, but even though the number of people in university is large, the proportion of *******s will stay the same (hence my post-convocation facebook and cellphone cleaning). If you get bad vibes from anyone else you meet, trust your gut and steer clear. You're going to find people like this everywhere you go, so may as well learn how to deal with it now. Hahahaha ... of course, ditch them and then piss them off. I did delete one of them off of facebook... I'll get to the rest eventually. I feel so much better ... it's quite hilarious actually that just a couple of minutes ago, one of them texted me about how the chemistry course website is down (which has the pre-lab and lab report forms for chemistry) and they can't access it. Of course I have a copy of the PDF on my computer, and I'm already finished the pre-lab. If I was still friends with them, I probably would have been like "I download the file onto my computer, I'll just send it to you right now." ... but of course I'm not gonna do that now. And it feel even better that their text will be left ignored XD .. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
future_doc Posted November 23, 2011 Report Share Posted November 23, 2011 They may be members or lurkers here. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
axialpac Posted November 23, 2011 Author Report Share Posted November 23, 2011 They may be members or lurkers here. Nah... they don't have an interest in medicine. Well one of them does, but she gave up that dream long ago because she doesn't feel like she's "cut out of for it". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Curi0user Posted November 23, 2011 Report Share Posted November 23, 2011 Definitely ditch them. You deserve the same kind of respect you give others. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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