Reconsidering Medicine (Depressed)

[Wannabedoctorzab]

So, it's been 1 year since I've been depressed now and one of the topics on my mind is, will I make it and if I do, is medicine for me?

 

A bit about myself:

Projected GPAs by end April 2015:

 

Ottawa wGPA:3.705

UofT (With 3.00 course exclusion): 3.83

Mac cGPA: 3.68

Western best 2: 3.78

Queens last 2: 3.67

 

ECs

President of med and law societies 

Research assistant with publication

Local clinic volunteer for 2 months

Shadowing 20 hours at various practices

Part of entrepreneurial program at university

Starting up own online business

 

MCAT first try at 2013: 23 (B/P/V - 9/7/7) - (Did bad because of relationship on and off drama WHILE working a full time job)

 

Degree: biomedical sciences

 

So, after going through a serious break up from a 3 year long relationship, I plunged into a deep depression. My father also lost his business and has struggled to make ends meet, putting me into a deep quest for being rich by pursuing my own biotech company (I've seen some worth millions), and after many long all nighters, skipping classes and exams, resorting to adderall usage for work, marijuana for stress, diphenhydraine HCL pills for sleeping, and caffeine for staying up, I've hated my life and been through potential suicide plans but never ballsy enough to do them. I've also noticed alopecia from stress. 

 

I have been told by everyone that my grades are not good. My parents don't ask me how I am, they ask how my grades are. I am overworked and sometimes I do not eat from 9 am until 9 pm and take caffeine just to suppress appetite. I have stopped working out and went from 160 lb with 10% body fat (I was quite fit) to 205 with 35% body fat. None of my clothes fit anymore. I have tried to suck it up and change, but I just can't. I don't know what to do, and dropping out or taking a break from a university? HA. My father will drive to my residence just to announce I'm not his son anymore.

 

Mind you Medicine was his dream, and I am in his shadow (you don't need to tell me that I'm doing it for them). I know I'm doing this for them but I have since the age of 8, wanted to go to medicine. I would be thrilled to go to the hospital just to see doctors. I would read medical school books for grade 5 health class projects just to sound smart. I would watch shows like scrubs and house and think to myself "someday i will do that". I didn't even care about money. Well, not until I started losing my hair and till my father's business failed. Then I started to look at the lives of rich people and want that.

 

Now I don't know what I want. And all I can think of is just running away and leaving everyone and everything in my depressive life. And please don't say "get over it". My mother says it enough when I tell her I'm depressed. No one understands and no one cares. And I am just tired of asking my father for grocery money and him telling me to wait till the end of the week so once he pays mortgage, he can give me $100 (and before you say get a job, note that I work 30 hours in a lab for free, and they won't give me a job and I've tried. They argue that they're publishing me and a lowly undergrad like me should be happy enough).

[makingfetchhappen]

I don’t even know where to start with this, it sounds like you are having a horrible time right now and I am really sorry that you are going through this.
 

The first thing that you need is a sympathetic ear. It sounds like the people around you don’t understand the pressure you are going through. You are using drugs, your hair is falling out, you are gaining weight, and people are telling you to “suck it up”? “Everyone” is telling you that your grades are bad? You need to find people in real life who can be there for you better and support you, and not everyone is lucky enough to have parents who can do that. It also sounds like your parents do not understand. If medicine was you Dad’s dream, what stopped him from pursuing it and what makes you different?
 

Most importantly, you have contemplated suicide. You need to get help immediately and not follow through with this. You obviously have some hope left in you or you would not have posted.
 

Going through a bad break up, having your family have troubles with money, and being financially dependent on them which leads to you feeling like you owe them in your school success, these are all huge things to have to deal with and you are probably really young, like early 20s I guess?

You have so much going on it’s hard to even know where to start, but I think you need to try to find someone to guide you through this, or even better more than one person. Ideally you need a therapist, a mentor, and a doctor with all that you are going through, having some close friends would help too. Do you have any of these things? Perhaps other posters can offer suggestions on building a network.
 

I understand wanting to be rich, but I think the more desperate need is that you want financial independence for yourself and financial security for your family. You need to make plans with that in mind and focus on your immediate needs rather than what you want. There will be time in life to go after what you truly want, but you are in crisis right now and need to focus on your needs.

[Wannabedoctorzab]

I don’t even know where to start with this, it sounds like you are having a horrible time right now and I am really sorry that you are going through this.

 

The first thing that you need is a sympathetic ear. It sounds like the people around you don’t understand the pressure you are going through. You are using drugs, your hair is falling out, you are gaining weight, and people are telling you to “suck it up”? “Everyone” is telling you that your grades are bad? You need to find people in real life who can be there for you better and support you, and not everyone is lucky enough to have parents who can do that. It also sounds like your parents do not understand. If medicine was you Dad’s dream, what stopped him from pursuing it and what makes you different?

 

Most importantly, you have contemplated suicide. You need to get help immediately and not follow through with this. You obviously have some hope left in you or you would not have posted.

 

Going through a bad break up, having your family have troubles with money, and being financially dependent on them which leads to you feeling like you owe them in your school success, these are all huge things to have to deal with and you are probably really young, like early 20s I guess?

You have so much going on it’s hard to even know where to start, but I think you need to try to find someone to guide you through this, or even better more than one person. Ideally you need a therapist, a mentor, and a doctor with all that you are going through, having some close friends would help too. Do you have any of these things? Perhaps other posters can offer suggestions on building a network.

 

I understand wanting to be rich, but I think the more desperate need is that you want financial independence for yourself and financial security for your family. You need to make plans with that in mind and focus on your immediate needs rather than what you want. There will be time in life to go after what you truly want, but you are in crisis right now and need to focus on your needs.

 

You are the FIRST person to actually sympathize over 1 year. FIRST. My girlfriend of 3 years wouldn't listen (she cheated btw and being incredibly desperate and insecure with my current image, I forgave her, and then she cheated again). I don't know what to do. I skipped 2 exams and a 40% assignment. I'm getting a medical note today for the two exams. The assignment? He's deducting 30% off my paper's grade. And when I went to him to explain? His reply was "people go through hardships all the time and you can't just stop your life. I broke up with my girlfriend in university too. You just have to grind through. Sorry I don't think it's fair to everyone else who are also stressed". BAM 30% on a 40% assignment gone. I think I'll probably max out and get 40% on that.

[Wannabedoctorzab]

I don’t even know where to start with this, it sounds like you are having a horrible time right now and I am really sorry that you are going through this.

 

The first thing that you need is a sympathetic ear. It sounds like the people around you don’t understand the pressure you are going through. You are using drugs, your hair is falling out, you are gaining weight, and people are telling you to “suck it up”? “Everyone” is telling you that your grades are bad? You need to find people in real life who can be there for you better and support you, and not everyone is lucky enough to have parents who can do that. It also sounds like your parents do not understand. If medicine was you Dad’s dream, what stopped him from pursuing it and what makes you different?

 

Most importantly, you have contemplated suicide. You need to get help immediately and not follow through with this. You obviously have some hope left in you or you would not have posted.

 

Going through a bad break up, having your family have troubles with money, and being financially dependent on them which leads to you feeling like you owe them in your school success, these are all huge things to have to deal with and you are probably really young, like early 20s I guess?

You have so much going on it’s hard to even know where to start, but I think you need to try to find someone to guide you through this, or even better more than one person. Ideally you need a therapist, a mentor, and a doctor with all that you are going through, having some close friends would help too. Do you have any of these things? Perhaps other posters can offer suggestions on building a network.

 

I understand wanting to be rich, but I think the more desperate need is that you want financial independence for yourself and financial security for your family. You need to make plans with that in mind and focus on your immediate needs rather than what you want. There will be time in life to go after what you truly want, but you are in crisis right now and need to focus on your needs.

 

And to mention, he did not have enough money and was denied a loan as he did get into med school. I am 21. In my fourth year. And tbh, I have no one. All my friends don't listen and I'm taking on responsibilities which require me to look like I'm 100% A-okay and 10 steps ahead of the 8-ball. So no friends. The ones I spoke to, the convos typically go with me complaining and to them saying "you need to get over her". Wow thanks for the help, I DIDN'T KNOW I SHOULD GET OVER HER. WOW!!!!!!!!!! GREAT ADVICE.

 

Financial stability is absolutely difficult. I am trying to set up an online business for that. I want to wake up every morning and not worry that I don't have $4 for a cup of coffee and a bagel. It's just not fair and it's not like I sit on my arse and complain - by my ECs, you can tell I am doing everything I can. And I have no time for self-improvement.

 

Side note:

Before someone says stop spending money on drugs - I have only used marijuana for the brief break up period, for 2 months daily. I quit and have been sober for 2 months now. Adderall usage is only during high stress periods. Diphenhydramine is like $10 and is daily to fall asleep because I can't sleep because I have so many thoughts racing due to stress. Caffeine? I bought a cheap coffee maker for $5 and I use the dirt no-name coffee for $8 bucks. I typically go through the equivalent of 3 Tim Horton's large cup of pure black coffee/day.

[makingfetchhappen]

I'm surprised that you haven't gotten any sympathy. It sounds like you have been going through a lot.

It's pretty typical to have your heart broken in your early 20s and lose your shit because of it. It happened to me, and a few of my friends. We look back now and laugh about it, not in an upbeat way, in a dark comedy type way. You basically feel like it's the end of the world, but I assure you that it's not and you will get over it in time. For now, you are not over it and you should probably look into talking to a counselor at your school at least once a week if you can set that up.

If your online biz starts to make money, great. Don't sacrifice your education for it or expect it to rescue you soon though. The financial part is a complicated question that you need to figure out. I think that your mental and physical health should be top priority right now.

[bruhh]

I'm so sorry you're going through all of this.

 

You need to get away from those who are reinforcing negative emotions in you. I don't know you, I don't even know if you're a female or male, but please know that if I found out you went through with the suicide attempt I would be geniuenly sad. I care for your life and so should everyone else. I'm not sure if you want to do medicine for yourself or for the sake of satisfying your parents. If you think that medicine will make you truly happy, go for it. Your grades are not very high, but I suggest going over to the "non-traditional/success stories" thread on premed101 so you can get an idea of how diverse the medical student body is. your EC's seem decent, probably even better than the average applicant. You can redo the MCAT, no problem there. Just study hard and redo it. I'm sure you'll do better if you're in a better mindset.

 

More importantly, you need to get away from the social cues that bring about your depressive/intrusive thoughts. If you're from Ontario, I suggest considering moving out of province, to Alberta, Manitoba, or Saskatchewan. I think you need to start fresh and give it a try without all the drama and depression. If you're a resident in Alberta, Manitoba, or Saskatchewan, you have a MUCH BETTER chance of getting in their respective medical school. Currently, I'm not depressed and I am considering moving to Alberta (in fact, I will be moving there for sure if I don't get in to med school next year). This isn't running away from your problems. Remember that! This is finding new opportunities in life and leaving the haters in their place. You DON'T NEED others telling you how you're living your life. You don't need other's approval. 

 

And in all seriousness, if you want to chat I'm free to talk whenever you'd like. I don't know which university you go to, but if you go to York, I'm looking for volunteers/executives for my student organizations currently and would be happy to have you in my team. We're a goofy bunch and are always looking for new people to mingle with. Seriously, don't hesitate.

[makingfetchhappen]

Re drugs: it's good that you included that because it was helpful to get a handle on the stressful situation you are under. It's good that you are posting anonymously though because people judge . I mentioned "drug use" when I was summarizing how stressed you seemed but that wasn't to be judgmental. Almost everyone uses drugs to a certain extent (like you mentioned, caffeine is a drug, so is alcohol). You just need to be careful about using them during stressful times so that you do not end up abusing them.

I'm not a doctor but I will say don't smoke pot daily and don't take Adderall above the prescribed dose. It sounds like you understand this already since you stopped smoking pot.

[Wannabedoctorzab]

I'm surprised that you haven't gotten any sympathy. It sounds like you have been going through a lot.

 

It's pretty typical to have your heart broken in your early 20s and lose your shit because of it. It happened to me, and a few of my friends. We look back now and laugh about it, not in an upbeat way, in a dark comedy type way. You basically feel like it's the end of the world, but I assure you that it's not and you will get over it in time. For now, you are not over it and you should probably look into talking to a counselor at your school at least once a week if you can set that up.

 

If your online biz starts to make money, great. Don't sacrifice your education for it or expect it to rescue you soon though. The financial part is a complicated question that you need to figure out. I think that your mental and physical health should be top priority right now.

 

I'm trying to get over her but 3 years. Three years of my life and all of my university years? Wasted.  The online business, I don't know. I don't even know how to go about it. I'm trying to get some international clients and create a website - let's see how this turns out. If this could even provide me $1000/month, I can pay rent, get my car back and pay its insurance, and have money for food and small leisure activities like going to dinner with friends.

I will focus more on it during the December break.

 

 

Re drugs: it's good that you included that because it was helpful to get a handle on the stressful situation you are under. It's good that you are posting anonymously though because people judge . I mentioned "drug use" when I was summarizing how stressed you seemed but that wasn't to be judgmental. Almost everyone uses drugs to a certain extent (like you mentioned, caffeine is a drug, so is alcohol). You just need to be careful about using them during stressful times so that you do not end up abusing them.

 

I'm not a doctor but I will say don't smoke pot daily and don't take Adderall above the prescribed dose. It sounds like you understand this already since you stopped smoking pot.

 

I quit pot for good. I am not going back on that road. I got enough pot smokers telling me how good it is for my health but anyone with even basic bio knowledge knows the true effects. Many self-claimed (pseudo)pot smoking scientists out there (no hate though, but it is annoying when they pressure you to help them rationalize that it is okay to do drugs).

 

 

I'm so sorry you're going through all of this.

 

You need to get away from those who are reinforcing negative emotions in you. I don't know you, I don't even know if you're a female or male, but please know that if I found out you went through with the suicide attempt I would be geniuenly sad. I care for your life and so should everyone else. I'm not sure if you want to do medicine for yourself or for the sake of satisfying your parents. If you think that medicine will make you truly happy, go for it. Your grades are not very high, but I suggest going over to the "non-traditional/success stories" thread on premed101 so you can get an idea of how diverse the medical student body is. your EC's seem decent, probably even better than the average applicant. You can redo the MCAT, no problem there. Just study hard and redo it. I'm sure you'll do better if you're in a better mindset.

 

More importantly, you need to get away from the social cues that bring about your depressive/intrusive thoughts. If you're from Ontario, I suggest considering moving out of province, to Alberta, Manitoba, or Saskatchewan. I think you need to start fresh and give it a try without all the drama and depression. If you're a resident in Alberta, Manitoba, or Saskatchewan, you have a MUCH BETTER chance of getting in their respective medical school. Currently, I'm not depressed and I am considering moving to Alberta (in fact, I will be moving there for sure if I don't get in to med school next year). This isn't running away from your problems. Remember that! This is finding new opportunities in life and leaving the haters in their place. You DON'T NEED others telling you how you're living your life. You don't need other's approval. 

 

And in all seriousness, if you want to chat I'm free to talk whenever you'd like. I don't know which university you go to, but if you go to York, I'm looking for volunteers/executives for my student organizations currently and would be happy to have you in my team. We're a goofy bunch and are always looking for new people to mingle with. Seriously, don't hesitate.

 

It is very hard to get up and just walk away from it you know? My roommates, parents, and friends are all the same. As far as my grades go, I'm mentally prepared to go to the States. My father is the one who will give me bs like "he failed, I raised a failure, I did everything for him, he failed" - but idc. They don't even appreciate when I do well in school. They will dwell on my one mistake over my 10 successes. Whenever I've gotten an A "oh ok nice". Whenever I got anything less? "You're failing. I don't know how you fail when I provide you with all the resources. I had it much harder than you and still made it. I got you a car, py for your rent, groceries, so you have no stress. How d oyou fail?"

 

Like idk wtf to do.

 

Also, I don't know how to reply to you guys on the chat. I'm very new here but was a regular at student doctor network. They sent me here about a year ago when I asked "what are my chance" and they all were like "this is an American forum".

 

Also, I would not like to disclose my university.

 

You guys are awesome though.

[Wannabedoctorzab]

^ You can tell I'm new since I quoted my own replies.

[goleafsgochris]

If I were in your situation.

 

1. Grades.  This is the most pressing thing that could screw you.  Drop the courses you were mentioning if you can, if not try to bucle down as much as possible till the semester ends to avoid getting into a bigger hole.

2. Social.  Your parents sound terrible.  If within your means, I agree with the above poster that I would move.  Getting away would be ideal for you as you mentioned few if any close friends, and the distance will help you get over the gf.

3. The gf. That is really hard in your early 20s, but your friends are right, dwelling on it does nothing.  You wasted your university years--who cares?  I would say 40-50% of ppl had a relationship in uni that crashed. I know you feel your situation is worse, but try your best to get over it.  If you can get yourself to start working out youll feel a bit better (realistically you prob need to treat the depression)

4. Drugs: meh.  If these help keep using them, but they probably don't that much, this is likely low on your issues though.

5. Suicidality: Seriously see a psychiatrist if you can.  Treating the depression may help to solve all the above issues.

[makingfetchhappen]

goleafsgoschris is right that you need to treat your grades as your first priority. Visit your student services person and see if you can defer exams to next term etc. My personal opinion is that deferring exams to the next term isn't really a gift. You just end up with a double course load next term. So don't think of it as a gift, just think of it as rearranging things so that they work okay for you.Talk to them and see what they can work out.

Your unsympathetic prof who said that everyone goes through this blah blah, didn't understand the reality of your situation I think.

Lots of ppl go through getting dumped but some ppl take heartbreak harder than others. No offence goleafsgoschris, but it's hard to not dwell on it. You need to find an outlet for all this and I think a counselor through your school would be good.

[Wannabedoctorzab]

Do you guys think I should tell my doctor and student services? Deferring ecams will give me time. To recover? I'm going to my doc today and just gonna tell him everything. Skipped exams. And why. Like I just can't keep this up and I don't have enough hours to learn and sleep and recover and work and lead and improve. Like there's just not enough time.

[makingfetchhappen]

It's hard to advise but there is not any easy reason to not reach out about it. You have confidentiality with your doctor except for very limited cases otherwise.

[StriveP]

I'm sorry to hear what you've gone through, it's terrible what you're going through. If I was in your case, I would take a year off and get my life sorted out. Sometimes we need a break and clear our minds and get everything settled. If you keep continuing and mess up this semester academically, not only will you dig a deeper hole but you will be further from your medical school goal.

 

Also, I think it would be in your favour to quit some of your extracurricular involvements, at this point none of your ECs mean anything because you will never get an interview unless you get your GPA or MCAT score up. It's pointless you are working in a lab or getting involved in clubs that have zero value.Therefore I would personally quit everything and just focus academically. I would also look into applying to Caribbean medical schools (one of the big 4) if you can find support from your parents financially. I hope that helps some bit.

 

 

Edit: Last thing I would like to add, just don't give up. This is just a phase in your life that you need to get through, we all have to go through this phase at some point in our life and it just makes us stronger. I can't stress this enough, take a break from school and your life, and clear your mind. This would save you from the exams you deferred and the 30% you lost on your assignment. It also gives you an opportunity to become financially independent temporarily. This would probably be the best solution for you at this moment. 

[canucks_14]

Everyone you've talked to are completely wrong. There are good people out there who will help you, support you, and care for you.

 

I think the best thing you can do is see your family doctor then a psychiatrist. Contemplating suicide is very serious and you will get the help you need from your doctors.

 

Also maybe look for mental health support groups in your area, possibly affiliated with the university. Also you could see a peer counsellor at your school if they have that.

[StriveP]

Everyone you've talked to are completely wrong. There are good people out there who will help you, support you, and care for you.

 

I think the best thing you can do is see your family doctor then a psychiatrist. Contemplating suicide is very serious and you will get the help you need from your doctors.

 

Also maybe look for mental health support groups in your area, possibly affiliated with the university. Also you could see a peer counsellor at your school if they have that.

He's right. At the end of the day, you really need to talk to someone about this in real life. Either a family physician or someone really close to you that you can trust. I really hope you get some help, god bless you.

[Wannabedoctorzab]

I just went to my doctor. I got prescribed Prozac for 6 months. I start tomorrow.

 

Also, I just found out TODAY AFTER THE DOCTOR, my close uncle has terminal cancer.

[Wannabedoctorzab]

I'm going to school tomorrow to have these courses deferred. This is just ridiculous. I can't keep up with this man.

[Wannabedoctorzab]

I'm going to request receiving credits without grades.

[shikimate]

I'm going to request receiving credits without grades.

 

First of all I'm sorry to hear you are in such a rough situation and are having hard time finding a helpful hand. I agree with a lot of the good advice given by other posters, namely trying to get away from the toxic environment which you find yourself in. Someone has mentioned moving away and maybe working or earning money for a year, which may sound like a reach, but I think it actually has good potential. You sound like someone who's geniunely hard working, but due to the bitter circumstances have lost some confidence and motivation. A new job could go a long way to restore some of your confidence, not to mention improving your finances. Many people do something after they graduate before applying to medicine and good working experience would only enrich your application, not to mention you may even go back to school to improve your grades or study for MCAT once your financial situation improves.

 

You seem very caring as you worry a lot about your father, uncle, and take on a lot of tasks, jobs and responsibilities. Like others said I think you are over-exerting yourself, and not prioritizing your tasks that give you the greatest gain. I understand it's difficult to cut ties with things you are involved in, but the end result of over-committing is that you find yourself isolated and not having enough time to take responsibility for your own wellness. Therefore I suggest dropping some of the activities such as volunteering (which can be a sordid role) and focus on high yield tasks, such as either work/business which generate income, or school/MCAT. A focused mental attitude could also potentially displace your negative thoughts about past relationships.

 

I am also glad to see you've reached out to counsellers and healthcare professionals to help you with your problems.

 

I wish you all the best.

[Wannabedoctorzab]

I do agree that I've lost all confI dense motivation, and even self esteem. Regarding quitting, the volunteer position I prioritize solely because its giving me a publication and my grades aren't 4.0 so... unconventional methods? Getting over my relationship is destroying me. I keep looking st past convos and photos and everything. I don't understand why you would cheat on someone. If any females here, I'm sorly to say and this is unfair and all, but my faith in women is gone.

[shikimate]

I do agree that I've lost all confI dense motivation, and even self esteem. Regarding quitting, the volunteer position I prioritize solely because its giving me a publication and my grades aren't 4.0 so... unconventional methods? Getting over my relationship is destroying me. I keep looking st past convos and photos and everything. I don't understand why you would cheat on someone. If any females here, I'm sorly to say and this is unfair and all, but my faith in women is gone.

 

Well publications are like nice, but they are like garnish on a dish, rarely do they ever make or break an application (ie. neither necessary nor sufficient). I see your MCAT score is not great, now that's something that makes or breaks A LOT of applicants, what are your thoughts on that? You are too past oriented, that's why you need a change of scenery, people, everything, so you can become future oriented. You mentioned expanding your online business to make more money, that sounds future oriented, and I suppose you can be doing that at a different place (as long as there's internet connection I suppose?)

[makingfetchhappen]

Back in the olden days when you had a bad breakup, you put all the photos and notes in a shoe box in the bottom of your closet, you didn't leave them sitting out. You also didn't phone the person.

Do the 21st century version of this: put all that stuff on a memory stick or disk and get it off your computer. Block and delete her from social media. Throw yourself into work and social stuff to distract yourself. Listen to music, audiobooks, or TV when you are doing errands, chores, or working out.

[Wannabedoctorzab]

Hi guys, I took the advice from many of you.

 

Here's what I've started

-counselling

-change of residence to a new location away from my negative roommates

-today I'm going to delete her from my life

-I've notified my profs and some are willing to help. Others I'll have to go to the Dean because they won't help with my past assignments that I missed (despite medical documentation stating that I've been in this state for a year now).

-I'm going for some blood work to determine whether my depression and suicidal thoughts are hormone related or truly a case of clinical depression - hence why I'm starting my proZac treatment next week.

-I also got called Dr. House by my doctor when he realized I'm intelligent and depressive - this made me laugh.

 

Any suggestions for teachers that are unfair in leniency? Like one prof refuses to assist me with a missed 40% assignment and is only willing to help with a 50% exam. So according to that? The max I'll obtain is 55 because I got 50 on a 10% lab.

[StriveP]

Hi guys, I took the advice from many of you.

 

Here's what I've started

-counselling

-change of residence to a new location away from my negative roommates

-today I'm going to delete her from my life

-I've notified my profs and some are willing to help. Others I'll have to go to the Dean because they won't help with my past assignments that I missed (despite medical documentation stating that I've been in this state for a year now).

-I'm going for some blood work to determine whether my depression and suicidal thoughts are hormone related or truly a case of clinical depression - hence why I'm starting my proZac treatment next week.

-I also got called Dr. House by my doctor when he realized I'm intelligent and depressive - this made me laugh.

 

Any suggestions for teachers that are unfair in leniency? Like one prof refuses to assist me with a missed 40% assignment and is only willing to help with a 50% exam. So according to that? The max I'll obtain is 55 because I got 50 on a 10% lab.

 

To be honest, any course you get below a 70% is going to have a significant impact on your GPA. If 55% is the max you can get at this point, It's your best interest to drop that course. If you plan to follow through with the course, I would highly recommend you calculate your GPA with that 55% included, trust me it won't look pretty. And like I said before, you still have the option of dropping out for a year and taking a break to get financially stable and let your mind rest. Just don't do anything that will make you regret this decision. I know a lot of people who have dropped courses (like myself) or taken a year off between university to have a break. I hope that helps and I hope you make the right decision.