Calling all boys (NOT about medicine)

[lovestruck]

What do you do when you like a girl? I've had this discussion with my girlfriends recently and we are all confused by the boys in our lives.

 

In our teens, we found it obvious when a guy liked you. Now, in early to mid twenties, I'll find out somebody liked me and I'll be shocked and awed since their behaviour would've never struck me as that of someone who was into me! Some things are still obvious but other things surprise me. I've been single for about a year now after a fairly longterm relationship prior to that so I also mostly missed out on dating in university, so I feel a little stunted now!

 

Most of the guys I have wondered about are in fact also premed due to the environment I'm in. So, for interests sake, what do you do to let a girl know you like her? How has it changed since you were younger? Are some things just you being nice and us girls confusing them for more???

 

Hopefully some people will be kind enough to inform me!

[keepontrying]

I think guys will become more straight-forward when they are older actually. So if the guy is really nice to you but didn't do anything more (ask you out on a date or send you presents every now and then, etc), then maybe he's just a nice guy haha. It's possible that he might eventually like you if you guys hang out more.

[Renin]

I think to make things easier, all guys are now forbidden from being nice.

[ubcMDhopeful]

Il be honest since no one knowns who I am here lol, Im generally a shy person and when I like someone I do not to make it obvious until I get a "sign" from them. This is obviously not a good way, a guy needs to show initiative and I am working on that lol.

 

A couple of my best friends Ive noticed are very similar to myself, but at the same time ive noticed guys whose attitudes COMPLETELY change once they see an attractive girl.

 

Some pre med guys I know try to become friendly with girls they like by helping them with school stuff or sending them labs/notes that they usually dont send out (to me for example even though we've been friends for years).

[Let'sGo1990]

Il be honest since no one knowns who I am here lol, Im generally a shy person and when I like someone I do not to make it obvious until I get a "sign" from them. This is obviously not a good way, a guy needs to show initiative and I am working on that lol.

 

A couple of my best friends Ive noticed are very similar to myself, but at the same time ive noticed guys whose attitudes COMPLETELY change once they see an attractive girl.

Some pre med guys I know try to become friendly with girls they like by helping them with school stuff or sending them labs/notes that they usually dont send out (to me for example even though we've been friends for years).

 

Wow. Kids like that are the ones that deserve to get used by hot girls.

 

OP, I've found that, over the years, I've become more straight up with my intentions when approaching a woman. It's all circumstantial though. I avoid being too aggressive with girls I have class with so as to avoid the effects of a fallout if anything were to happen.

 

It's really hard to tell you what the signs of interest are. Every guy is different. Some are shy, some are straight up, and some don't chase even though they're interested. People have different characters. There are obvious signs of interest though. If the dude asks for your number, then he's probably into you, even if does say it's "just to study".

 

Apart from that, next time a guy is being nice to you, look at his surroundings and how he acts with other people. Is he generally talkative to everyone around him, reserved, etc? Nice to everyone, or just you?

[Renin]

Wow. Kids like that are the ones that deserve to get used by hot girls.

 

OP' date=' I've found that, over the years, I've become more straight up with my intentions when approaching a woman. It's all circumstantial though. I avoid being too aggressive with girls I have class with so as to avoid the effects of a fallout if anything were to happen.

 

It's really hard to tell you what the signs of interest are. Every guy is different. Some are shy, some are straight up, and some don't chase even though they're interested. People have different characters. There are obvious signs of interest though. If the dude asks for your number, then he's probably into you, even if does say it's "just to study".

 

Apart from that, next time a guy is being nice to you, look at his surroundings and how he acts with other people. Is he generally talkative to everyone around him, reserved, etc? Nice to everyone, or just you?[/quote']

 

Do you really want to date a guy who is a jerk to the world?

[future_doc]

Ambiguity does not count as anything significant.

[deeman101]

Best way to figure if a guy likes you is compare his behaviour with you to his behaviour when he's around other girls / his female friends. If he shows more interest, theres your signal. I don't think guys throw out overt "signs" otherwise. By 20s we're more refined, we don't throw out awkward "signs" or play dumb games (most of the time) like we were 14.

[AtomSmasher]

What do you do when you like a girl? I've had this discussion with my girlfriends recently and we are all confused by the boys in our lives.

 

In our teens, we found it obvious when a guy liked you. Now, in early to mid twenties, I'll find out somebody liked me and I'll be shocked and awed since their behaviour would've never struck me as that of someone who was into me! Some things are still obvious but other things surprise me. I've been single for about a year now after a fairly longterm relationship prior to that so I also mostly missed out on dating in university, so I feel a little stunted now!

 

Most of the guys I have wondered about are in fact also premed due to the environment I'm in. So, for interests sake, what do you do to let a girl know you like her? How has it changed since you were younger? Are some things just you being nice and us girls confusing them for more???

 

Hopefully some people will be kind enough to inform me!

 

RULE:

 

If you are hot AND:

 

- a guy is talking to you

- a guy asks you to hang out

- a guy is friends with you

 

then he wants to **** you.

 

The quality/quantity of men a woman gets is directly proportional to her looks. Make yourself look good, follow the above rule, and they will come.

[lovestruck]

Truth.

 

If a guy doesn't man up and take initiative when it comes to approaching a woman for dating and relationships, then he doesn't deserve a woman.

 

When I am interested in a woman, I approach her and suggest that we go out for a beverage.

 

Balls. Men should have them.

 

Unfortunately most men don't have balls. I would love it if more men had your approach!

[lovestruck]

RULE:

 

If you are hot AND:

 

- a guy is talking to you

- a guy asks you to hang out

- a guy is friends with you

 

then he wants to **** you.

 

The quality/quantity of men a woman gets is directly proportional to her looks. Make yourself look good, follow the above rule, and they will come.

 

It it really THAT simple though? I can think of tons of guys that are attractive but I would never touch for severe personality clashes. I'd like to think guys think with the upper brain once in awhile and would also be like this?

[AtomSmasher]

It it really THAT simple though? I can think of tons of guys that are attractive but I would never touch for severe personality clashes. I'd like to think guys think with the upper brain once in awhile and would also be like this?

 

Yeah, it's that simple. As long as you act warm to him, he'll always want sex if you're hot. Maybe not for a traditional relationship, but at least for a one-night stand or friends with benefits relationship.

 

As for traditional relationships (which is what I assume you want because you're a woman), I know that if a man goes on dates in quick succession with a woman, that implies the relationship is headed more towards the traditional path. Whereas if they are spaced out over weeks rather than days before having sex, that would imply a more casual sex relationship. That being said there's still a minimum ammount of time a man has to spend courting a woman before she is comfortable enough to sleep with him... it's just a matter of over how long that time is spread out.

 

PS, if you want a socially acceptable way to accelerate things a little bit, you can try touching him on the arm, making eye contact, and standing closer to him than normal. This assumes that you're hot though.

[Curi0user]

What I wonder is how men behave in bars/clubs/whatever aka before you even talk to the person or approach them.

[Curi0user]

RULE:

 

If you are hot AND:

 

- a guy is talking to you

- a guy asks you to hang out

- a guy is friends with you

 

then he wants to **** you.

 

The quality/quantity of men a woman gets is directly proportional to her looks. Make yourself look good, follow the above rule, and they will come.

 

This sounds logical and true but the only issue is girls dont know if they are hot to the guy. Or even hot in general lol. Thats where the problem lies and doubt is created.

[lovestruck]

This sounds logical and true but the only issue is girls dont know if they are hot to the guy. Or even hot in general lol. Thats where the problem lies and doubt is created.

 

That's true. Also, I don't think there's really a universal hot is there? One guy may think girl A is hot and girl B meh, while his buddy may prefer the opposite?

 

For girls, when it comes to guys it's totally like that. I can't phathom a world where Josh Duhamel is not hot (physically, not his turnip like personality) but my friends can!

[funnyboy6]

Unfortunately most men don't have balls. I would love it if more men had your approach!

 

True, but I think circumstances play a role. The whole "I'm going to go to a random bar, meet someone with whom I have no circumstantial connection, and we're gonna fall in love" thing is outdated. Things like school, work, where you live, culture, etc. will pull people together.

 

Balls are important, but so are circumstances.

[PhoenixFlare500]

That's true. Also, I don't think there's really a universal hot is there? One guy may think girl A is hot and girl B meh, while his buddy may prefer the opposite?

This is definitely true in some cases. I think generally extremely ugly girls (too bad for them) are just going to be considered ugly by most guys, except for the one guy with really unique taste, while the extremely hot girls are going to be attractive to most guys. However there's always exceptions to both of those, and then there's the girls that are in between. This summer I certainly noticed that me and another guy thought a couple girls were extremely attractive while some other guys thought that other girls were the hottest ones around even though we didn't really find them that great.

 

However, the ONE thing that a girl can have control over is her physical fitness. Men generally do not like out-of-shape women, at least men who have any self-confidence.

 

So if you want a guy, and want a guy who respects himself, you have to respect yourself and that means respecting your appearance.

I'm sure the best way to get a girl to respect herself is to tell her that she's completely unattractive to "quality" guys until she loses a couple pounds... If a guy won't go out with a girl 'cause she's got better things to do than spend copious amounts of money and time dressing and looking a little better than everyone else around her, then that guy's got issues.

[Renin]

Contrary to popular belief, beauty is NOT in the eye of the beholder. There are particular facial features and ratios that are considered beautiful across all cultures and time periods. Unfortunately, facial beauty is more dependent on your genetics than anything. So if you lose the sperm+egg contest, you're kind of screwed in the department.

 

However, the ONE thing that a girl can have control over is her physical fitness. Men generally do not like out-of-shape women, at least men who have any self-confidence. It's never the successful yuppie nor the athletic jock who is dating the sixteen stone melting wax mannequin behemoth. Girls like that attract guys with little self-confidence and even less self-respect. Who wants to be in that kind of relationship?

 

So if you want a guy, and want a guy who respects himself, you have to respect yourself and that means respecting your appearance.

 

What about those skinny, tanned, and blonde kinda stupid girls with the big sun glasses and the puppy hanging out of their handbag? If I was a guy, I'd rather date a girl with more bounds and a charming personality than a fit bimbo.

[AtomSmasher]

The fact is that 70% of a man's attaction to a woman comes from her looks. The other 20% is in how likely he perceives the woman is to sleep with him, and the remaining 10% is from factors like intelligence, class, etc. Note that these are estimations based on over 25 years of being male, and having talked about women with countless other males.

 

Beauty is not in the eye of the beholder, that has been discovered years ago. We've taken pictures of white women to countries in Africa where the men there have never even seen a white woman before. The women they selected as most attractive correlated with our choices with an r value of something like 0.95. Beauty is universal, not in the eye of the beholder.

 

Having problems figuring out how attractive you are? Go to Hotornot.com, post your picture, and get rated.

 

If you find you're ugly, you need to change. Get into shape. The idea body mass index for a woman is something like 18-22. You can find calculators for this on the internet. If you're too skinny, gain weight. If you're too fat, lose weight. If you have small breasts or a big nose, get plastic surgery. Get accutane if you have bad acne.

 

As for other things like making your hair prettier or wearing nicer clothes, that stuff only works if you are already decently attractive. If you're a fat piece of ****, you could be done up like a supermodel, and no guy would look twice at you.

 

This is a minor thing, but a woman's voice matters too. If you talk in a deep/low pitched voice, or a throaty voice, quit it. Get voice coaching. Try to act bubbly and energetic - it shows that a woman is young and healthy enough to look after children. Note that this does NOT mean that a woman's personality matters - this only refers to voice tonality. In fact, it matters for nearly ZERO.

 

As for talking to a guy you're interested in, just act like you think he's the sexiest guy in the world. Make eye contact, stand with your feet together, face him, touch him on the arm, compliment him, be submissive to his requests, etc. Basically, act like a real woman (i.e. a pre-feminism woman).

[aaronjw]

lets see where your estimation ends up when you're in your 30's as how you think in your early 20's becomes vastly different 10 years later and are grossly tired of the dumb bimbo who only looks good while having relatively little (compared to her boobs) between her ears.

 

If you don't believe me, think "ewww gross, girls!" when you were 8 to "oooooh, girls!" when you were 15.

 

25 years as a male huh? Is that including your drool filled, random erection popping, soother requiring years of 0-18?

 

The fact is that 70% of a man's attaction to a woman comes from her looks. The other 20% is in how likely he perceives the woman is to sleep with him, and the remaining 10% is from factors like intelligence, class, etc. Note that these are estimations based on over 25 years of being male, and having talked about women with countless other males.

 

Beauty is not in the eye of the beholder, that has been discovered years ago. We've taken pictures of white women to countries in Africa where the men there have never even seen a white woman before. The women they selected as most attractive correlated with our choices with an r value of something like 0.95. Beauty is universal, not in the eye of the beholder.

 

Having problems figuring out how attractive you are? Go to Hotornot.com, post your picture, and get rated.

 

If you find you're ugly, you need to change. Get into shape. The idea body mass index for a woman is something like 18-22. You can find calculators for this on the internet. If you're too skinny, gain weight. If you're too fat, lose weight. Put on nice makeup. If you have small breasts or a big nose, get plastic surgery. Get accutane if you have bad acne.

 

As for other things like making your hair prettier or wearing nicer clothes, that stuff only works if you are already decently attractive. If you're a fat piece of ****, you could be done up like a supermodel, and no guy would look twice at you.

 

This is a minor thing, but a woman's voice matters too. If you talk in a deep/low pitched voice, or a throaty voice, quit it. Get voice coaching. Try to act bubbly and energetic - it shows that a woman is young and healthy enough to look after children.

[Mourning Cloak]

The fact is that 70% of a man's attaction to a woman comes from her looks. The other 20% is in how likely he perceives the woman is to sleep with him, and the remaining 10% is from factors like intelligence, class, etc. Note that these are estimations based on over 25 years of being male, and having talked about women with countless other males.

 

Beauty is not in the eye of the beholder, that has been discovered years ago. We've taken pictures of white women to countries in Africa where the men there have never even seen a white woman before. The women they selected as most attractive correlated with our choices with an r value of something like 0.95. Beauty is universal, not in the eye of the beholder.

 

Having problems figuring out how attractive you are? Go to Hotornot.com, post your picture, and get rated.

 

If you find you're ugly, you need to change. Get into shape. The idea body mass index for a woman is something like 18-22. You can find calculators for this on the internet. If you're too skinny, gain weight. If you're too fat, lose weight. If you have small breasts or a big nose, get plastic surgery. Get accutane if you have bad acne.

 

As for other things like making your hair prettier or wearing nicer clothes, that stuff only works if you are already decently attractive. If you're a fat piece of ****, you could be done up like a supermodel, and no guy would look twice at you.

 

This is a minor thing, but a woman's voice matters too. If you talk in a deep/low pitched voice, or a throaty voice, quit it. Get voice coaching. Try to act bubbly and energetic - it shows that a woman is young and healthy enough to look after children. Note that this does NOT mean that a woman's personality matters - this only refers to voice tonality. In fact, it matters for nearly ZERO.

 

As for talking to a guy you're interested in, just act like you think he's the sexiest guy in the world. Make eye contact, stand with your feet together, face him, touch him on the arm, compliment him, be submissive to his requests, etc. Basically, act like a real woman (i.e. a pre-feminism woman).

 

I smell a troll.

 

Please see below for dx and rx:

http://tantek.pbworks.com/w/page/19403022/TrollTaxonomy#Sexisttroll

[AtomSmasher]

I smell a troll.

 

Please see below for dx and rx:

http://tantek.pbworks.com/w/page/19403022/TrollTaxonomy#Sexisttroll

 

I reread my post, and failed to find anything sexist. Stay on topic.

 

I understand this post might conflict too much with your worldview, but I assure you that I tried to be as frank and brutally honest as possible. When I give advice to someone, I have one rule: tell the truth no matter how much they won't like it. Because otherwise, I'm not helping anyone, which would defeat the purpose of my advice.

 

I'd just like to elaborate one what I said about a woman's personality mattering for zero. Technically, personality does matter, but in practice, it doesn't. The only time personality matters for a woman is when she's acting like a rude, cold, *****. But the thing is, 99% of women have the common sense to not act this way around men they are interested in romantically. As for social skills, the fact is that women are FAR more socially savvy than men on average, especially the attractive women. So if a man is interested in you, the woman's social skills won't likely be an issue, so it's not something for a woman who has trouble with men to consider. The myth of the hot blonde bimbo who can't hold up a conversation because she's relied on her looks for too long, never needing to build up her social skills, is a lie. Attractive women get approached by MORE men, and MORE people want to be friends with them. So hot women have MORE opportunity to work on their social skills than their uglier friends.

 

Research shows that the less attractive the man, the more value he places on non-looks factors (e.g., intelligence). But why aim low? Don't sell yourself short by appealing to guys you aren't attracted to.

[JB.]

The fact is that 70% of a man's attaction to a woman comes from her looks. The other 20% is in how likely he perceives the woman is to sleep with him, and the remaining 10% is from factors like intelligence, class, etc. Note that these are estimations based on over 25 years of being male, and having talked about women with countless other males.

 

Beauty is not in the eye of the beholder, that has been discovered years ago. We've taken pictures of white women to countries in Africa where the men there have never even seen a white woman before. The women they selected as most attractive correlated with our choices with an r value of something like 0.95. Beauty is universal, not in the eye of the beholder.

 

Having problems figuring out how attractive you are? Go to Hotornot.com, post your picture, and get rated.

 

If you find you're ugly, you need to change. Get into shape. The idea body mass index for a woman is something like 18-22. You can find calculators for this on the internet. If you're too skinny, gain weight. If you're too fat, lose weight. If you have small breasts or a big nose, get plastic surgery. Get accutane if you have bad acne.

 

As for other things like making your hair prettier or wearing nicer clothes, that stuff only works if you are already decently attractive. If you're a fat piece of ****, you could be done up like a supermodel, and no guy would look twice at you.

 

This is a minor thing, but a woman's voice matters too. If you talk in a deep/low pitched voice, or a throaty voice, quit it. Get voice coaching. Try to act bubbly and energetic - it shows that a woman is young and healthy enough to look after children. Note that this does NOT mean that a woman's personality matters - this only refers to voice tonality. In fact, it matters for nearly ZERO.

 

As for talking to a guy you're interested in, just act like you think he's the sexiest guy in the world. Make eye contact, stand with your feet together, face him, touch him on the arm, compliment him, be submissive to his requests, etc. Basically, act like a real woman (i.e. a pre-feminism woman).

 

Ahahahahahaha.... this is the most ridiculous thing I've read all day.

[larva]

This thread is seriously derailing.

 

Let me contribute to that! 2 things:

 

1. WTH is with all the hot blonde talk?? Hotness is independent of haircolour.

 

2. These comments about looks crack me up - why are they exclusively focused on women?? Lots of ugly dudes out there

 

Oh, and for Brooksbane: There is no such thing as a pre/post feminism woman. (not sure what that even means?) There have always been strong and weak women, as well as strong and weak men. All feminism did was make it illegal to hold back the strong women from doing what they wanted.

[Curi0user]

The fact is that 70% of a man's attaction to a woman comes from her looks. The other 20% is in how likely he perceives the woman is to sleep with him, and the remaining 10% is from factors like intelligence, class, etc. Note that these are estimations based on over 25 years of being male, and having talked about women with countless other males.

 

Beauty is not in the eye of the beholder, that has been discovered years ago. We've taken pictures of white women to countries in Africa where the men there have never even seen a white woman before. The women they selected as most attractive correlated with our choices with an r value of something like 0.95. Beauty is universal, not in the eye of the beholder.

 

Having problems figuring out how attractive you are? Go to Hotornot.com, post your picture, and get rated.

 

If you find you're ugly, you need to change. Get into shape. The idea body mass index for a woman is something like 18-22. You can find calculators for this on the internet. If you're too skinny, gain weight. If you're too fat, lose weight. If you have small breasts or a big nose, get plastic surgery. Get accutane if you have bad acne.

 

As for other things like making your hair prettier or wearing nicer clothes, that stuff only works if you are already decently attractive. If you're a fat piece of ****, you could be done up like a supermodel, and no guy would look twice at you.

 

This is a minor thing, but a woman's voice matters too. If you talk in a deep/low pitched voice, or a throaty voice, quit it. Get voice coaching. Try to act bubbly and energetic - it shows that a woman is young and healthy enough to look after children. Note that this does NOT mean that a woman's personality matters - this only refers to voice tonality. In fact, it matters for nearly ZERO.

 

As for talking to a guy you're interested in, just act like you think he's the sexiest guy in the world. Make eye contact, stand with your feet together, face him, touch him on the arm, compliment him, be submissive to his requests, etc. Basically, act like a real woman (i.e. a pre-feminism woman).

 

I feel like this is a recipe for a hot guy to sleep with you and use you like trash. It shouldn't be this hard for a girl to "land a date" and I refuse to believe it is lol.