Pool Rat Posted March 18, 2007 Report Share Posted March 18, 2007 Two fish are in a tank. One says to the other "how do we drive this thing?" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Law Posted March 18, 2007 Report Share Posted March 18, 2007 Two fish are in a tank. One says to the other "how do we drive this thing?" Clever. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Madz25 Posted April 9, 2007 Report Share Posted April 9, 2007 Not friday yet but here's something to enjoy anyway...sorry if you've read these before...ENJOY! I was at the golf store comparing different kinds of golf balls. I was unhappy with the women's type I had been using. After browsing for several minutes, I was approached by one of the good-looking gentlemen who works at the store. He asked if he could help me. Without thinking, I looked at him and said, "I think I like playing with mens balls" This had most of the state of Michigan laughing for 2 days and a very embarrassed female news anchor who will, in the future, likely think before she speaks. What happens when you predict snow but don't get any! We had a female news anchor that, the day after it was supposed to have snowed and didn't, turned to the weatherm an and asked: "So Bob, where's that 8 inches you promised me last night?" Not only did HE have to leave the set, but half the crew did too they were laughing so hard! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Law Posted April 9, 2007 Report Share Posted April 9, 2007 Madz is such a comedian! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
crackers Posted April 9, 2007 Report Share Posted April 9, 2007 A dyslexic man walks into a bra. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
avenir001 Posted April 9, 2007 Report Share Posted April 9, 2007 Not friday yet but here's something to enjoy anyway...sorry if you've read these before...ENJOY! I was at the golf store comparing different kinds of golf balls. I was unhappy with the women's type I had been using. After browsing for several minutes, I was approached by one of the good-looking gentlemen who works at the store. He asked if he could help me. Without thinking, I looked at him and said, "I think I like playing with mens balls" This had most of the state of Michigan laughing for 2 days and a very embarrassed female news anchor who will, in the future, likely think before she speaks. What happens when you predict snow but don't get any! We had a female news anchor that, the day after it was supposed to have snowed and didn't, turned to the weatherm an and asked: "So Bob, where's that 8 inches you promised me last night?" Not only did HE have to leave the set, but half the crew did too they were laughing so hard! HAHAHAHAHAHHAHHAAA:D simply brilliant! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Redheadninja Posted April 9, 2007 Report Share Posted April 9, 2007 These are awesome! Here's a good nerdy science one: Q: Why did the bear dissolve in water? A: It was a POLAR bear! Badabam pish! And on the note of balls, a lady was stopped for speeding on the highway, and when the RCMP officer walked up to the car, their conversation went something like this: Officer: "Ma'am do you know why I pulled you over" Lady: "Oh, are you selling me tickets to the policeman's ball?" Officer: "No ma'am, you were speeding, and at the RCMP, we don't have balls" At this point the officer realized what he said, walked back to his car and drove away, forgetting about the ticket completely, as the lady's laughter echoed in the background. Cheers! More to come later. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Redheadninja Posted April 9, 2007 Report Share Posted April 9, 2007 Oh and here's one for all the immunologists out there: Q: Why are immune cells like people? A: Without the exact amount of very specific stimulation, you can't turn them on! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dr_2020 Posted April 10, 2007 Author Report Share Posted April 10, 2007 A woman comes home from her visit to the gynecologist only to find her husband drinking beer in his lounge chair and watching baseball on T.V. He says to her sarcastically "So what did you do today?" She replied, "I’ll have you know that I went to my Doctor today, and he told me that I had the breasts of an 18 year-old." "Oh yeah, well what did he say about your big a$$?" he shot back. "He didn’t ask about you!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dr_2020 Posted April 10, 2007 Author Report Share Posted April 10, 2007 A man goes to his doctor for a complete checkup. He hasn't been feeling well and wants to find out if he's ill. After the checkup the doctor comes out with the results of the examination. "I'm afraid I have some bad news. You're dying and you don't have much time," the doctor says. "Oh no, that's terrible. How long have I got?" the man asks. "10..." says the doctor. "10? 10 what? Months? Weeks? What?!" he asks desperately. "10...9...8...7..." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dr_2020 Posted April 10, 2007 Author Report Share Posted April 10, 2007 I couldn't resist ... Frank and the Cockroach Frank is sitting in his living room when the doorbell rings. Upon answering the door, he finds a 6 foot tall cockroach that grabs him by the neck and beats him about the head and shoulders, then leaves. The next night, the doorbell rings and it is the same 6 foot tall cockroach. He punches Frank in the abdomen and stalks off. The third night, the doorbell rings and it's the same 6 foot tall cockroach. This time he beats the snot out of poor Frank. Frank staggers into the ER and collapses in triage. He looks at the MD and says " Doc, you gotta help me. I can't take any more of this!" "Sorry," The MD replies, "It's just a nasty bug going around." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Darla Posted April 10, 2007 Report Share Posted April 10, 2007 "Sorry," The MD replies, "It's just a nasty bug going around." *snort* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Law Posted April 10, 2007 Report Share Posted April 10, 2007 HAha great joke dr! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vip_138 Posted April 10, 2007 Report Share Posted April 10, 2007 i don't get the countdown one Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Law Posted April 10, 2007 Report Share Posted April 10, 2007 i don't get the countdown one He's dying in 10 seconds. lol VIP common sense eluded you eh? WHERE have you been? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vip_138 Posted April 10, 2007 Report Share Posted April 10, 2007 He's dying in 10 seconds. lolVIP common sense eluded you eh? WHERE have you been? o, then i guess i got it and didn't think it was funny. I've been lurking around, I don't post on 'what's everybody doing' too much becuase i think its kind of toxic - it drags you in like a black hole past the event horizon, where you get stretched and ripped apart into a million little pieces, doomed to wander around the blackness and emptiness that soon becomes your life. The lesson is to stay at a safe orbit before it becomes too late and you become a p101 addict (ie. the Law ) - its also exam season and i really should be hitting the books Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Law Posted April 10, 2007 Report Share Posted April 10, 2007 o, then i guess i got it and didn't think it was funny. I've been lurking around, I don't post on 'what's everybody doing' too much becuase i think its kind of toxic - it drags you in like a black hole past the event horizon, where you get stretched and ripped apart into a million little pieces, doomed to wander around the blackness and emptiness that soon becomes your life. The lesson is to stay at a safe orbit before it becomes too late and you become a p101 addict (ie. the Law ) - its also exam season and i really should be hitting the books omg drag me out pleaseeeeeeeeeee msn and p101 shall be the death of me. as well as television. lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vip_138 Posted April 10, 2007 Report Share Posted April 10, 2007 omg drag me out pleaseeeeeeeeeee msn and p101 shall be the death of me. as well as television. lol it's too late for you but i can still warn others Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jazzie Posted April 10, 2007 Report Share Posted April 10, 2007 Hi my name is _____. And I'm a forumaholic. Admittance is the first step to recovery Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RowaH Posted April 10, 2007 Report Share Posted April 10, 2007 New York (CNN): At John F. Kennedy International Airport today, a Caucasian male (later discovered to be a high school mathematics teacher) was arrested trying to board a flight while in possession of a compass, a protractor, and a graphical calculator. According law enforcement officials, he is believed to have ties to the Al-Gebra network. He will be charged with carrying weapons of math instruction. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vip_138 Posted April 11, 2007 Report Share Posted April 11, 2007 Hi my name is _____. And I'm a forumaholic. Admittance is the first step to recovery very clever I'm actually very impressed Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dr_2020 Posted April 11, 2007 Author Report Share Posted April 11, 2007 Q. What is the name of the molecule CH2O? A. Seawater Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jazzie Posted April 11, 2007 Report Share Posted April 11, 2007 very clever I'm actually very impressed hmmm....... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RowaH Posted April 11, 2007 Report Share Posted April 11, 2007 Q. What is the name of the molecule CH2O? A. Seawater Very Clever! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bane Posted April 11, 2007 Report Share Posted April 11, 2007 New York (CNN): At John F. Kennedy International Airport today, a Caucasian male (later discovered to be a high school mathematics teacher) was arrested trying to board a flight while in possession of a compass, a protractor, and a graphical calculator. According law enforcement officials, he is believed to have ties to the Al-Gebra network. He will be charged with carrying weapons of math instruction. i really liked this one Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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