How to deal with lack of social life in medical school?

[sadllama]

I just started medical school this year. Going in I was told that medical school is the place where you will meet a lot of new friends with similar interests and make memories that last for a lifetime. Even as I observed the upper year medical students over the last few years, they all seemed to get along well with each other and I always admired how they went on trips together, did activities together and were friends with each other outside of medical school. But more than half a semester into med school I don't feel the same way. I feel socially outcasted on a constant basis. Like I can talk to people one on one pretty well but then once the group gets a little bigger, i find myself to be excluded from the conversations despite my efforts to fit in. I also find that I have been excluded from a lot of activities that have been going on within our class. For instance a group of classmates planned to go camping together at the beginning of the semester and I didn't even hear about it until after. Further more, My classmates would start conversations with me and then leave me on read when I respond. 

Initially I thought, I maybe a little socially awkward as a person but I never had trouble making friends in undergrad. Also I should mention that I went to medschool in the same university in which I did the undergrad and I took the traditional pre-med route as well. And I swear to god I am not a terrible person. I understand that this year has been tough to make friends especially cause our in-person times are so limited but I am starting to feel frustrated. Especially because I feel like I am the only one going through this. I can't really talk about it to me non-med friends because I am the lucky one who made it. When I try to talk about it with my family I get told that I should just focus on studies and not care about the social aspects as much. But as a person who has been used to having a fairly strong social presence throughout most stages of life, this has been very disheartening. Even though I love the academic aspect of med school so far, the lack of this social aspect has started to make me not like med school already and I really don't want to be that bitter med student who suffers through their 4 years because of this.

I am not sure where I am going wrong with this lol. And I am not really sure why I chose to vent this out on the forum but any insight on how to deal with this issue would be appreciated.

 

[MD2015:)]

It is really unfortunate for all the people starting medical school this year because the virtual format makes it extremely challenging to make friends. I know that probably many many people in your class are feeling isolated as well. Perhaps you could try reaching out to a couple people that you think you might like to study together online or to have zoom fun get togethers or in person distanced get togethers (like meet in a park). If you initiate these hangouts then gradually you may make your social circle despite this virtual challenge. Probably most people are open to making new friends but most people are not really sure how to do it with this new shift to online. 

[takasugi]

What I would suggest is to try organize social things for your small group (if you have pbl or small group learning). Board Games are a good one. Among us is also good. Helps to get to know each other in a non academic setting.

[indefatigable]

Choose people that choose you.  Med school can be cliquish and even small differences between people in terms of background, life experiences or ethnicity can sometimes get exaggerated.  There's usually an "in" crowd, but I'd suggest focusing on finding a few other people that genuinely accept you and want to spend time or really engage with you rather than trying to "fit in".  Don't take it personally at all and just accept that people can be kind of  superficial.  Be open to having friends outside of medicine (or at other medical schools) as they can help provide balance to your medical school experience.  Try and get into whatever activities you enjoy and basically chart your own course.  Don't judge and be open to things changing, but don't expect things to change either.  

I understand the social challenge though, and believe it was one of the most disappointing factors for me personally too, although I am non-trad, with significant life experience and had linguistic (and related) challenges in Quebec, where almost everyone else was very homogenous and much earlier in their lives (I wasn't familiar with the region either).  Plus the pre-clinical curriculum involved mostly individual study with limited immersion and interaction (which didn't help with my language challenges either). 

 

[oneday1]

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[swm]

I feel your pain. I moved to a new province and its been a much harder transition than I thought because of the pandemic. I miss my family so much and it's hard to concentrate on work when you don't feel settled in your new environment. I am taking it day by day. I relieved I am not the only one feeling like this. 

[sadllama]

Thank you all for your responses... It eases my mind a bit to know I am not going through this alone. I will keep all these pointers in mind moving forward and I hope anyone going through similar struggles is able to find resolution as well <3