What's On Your Mind?

[Falling]

When you become a physician, your parents will be happier than anyone else in the world (other than you).

[武田信玄]

Medicine was something they pushed me to pursue at the early stages of my first undergrad (with reasons such as "look at this Chinese celebrity, they married a doctor--so the prestige of being a doctor means something!").

I feel I must ask this question: which Chinese celebrity???

[武田信玄]

Medicine was something they pushed me to pursue at the early stages of my first undergrad (with reasons such as "look at this Chinese celebrity, they married a doctor--so the prestige of being a doctor means something!").

Doctors in China are not very respected and generally speaking are not well-paid. I doubt many Chinese celebrities would want to marry a doctor.

[makingfetchhappen]

Doctors in China are not very respected. I doubt many Chinese celebrities would want to marry a doctor.

Probably an American celebrity of Chinese descent?

 

I've heard that in Germany they put lawyers on a pedestal (From Germans and also in the press). I would be really interested to see this!

 

It's pretty funny how society assigns certain status to certain kinds of work.

 

That being said, I met a diplomat last summer and I totally fan-girled on her. Oh well, I couldn't help myself. A 30 year old diplomat is something else. Technicality, she even had a license to kill. It's pretty James Bond ish if you ask me.

[Egg_McMuffin]

Doctors in China are not very respected and generally speaking are not well-paid. I doubt many Chinese celebrities would want to marry a doctor.

 

To be honest, I don't really remember which celebrity. Maybe she married a foreign doctor when she went overseas (which many celebrities do).

 

And I'm not too worried about finding a spouse. I don't have a terribly hard time finding a date now, and I doubt aging another 5-7 years will change that lol. I'm actually more worried about being able to have kids rather than finding a man, because I really, really want to be a mom some day. But I guess I'll figure it out when I get to that point.

[Fluoxetine]

To be honest, I don't really remember which celebrity. Maybe she married a foreign doctor when she went overseas (which many celebrities do).

 

And I'm not too worried about finding a spouse. I don't have a terribly hard time finding a date now, and I doubt aging another 5-7 years will change that lol. I'm actually more worried about being able to have kids rather than finding a man, because I really, really want to be a mom some day. But I guess I'll figure it out when I get to that point.

 

Well. You don't need to have a man to have kids There's always adoption.

If biological inheritance is of concern, you can always do in-vitro with donor sperm.

 

Edit: 

On second thought, maybe you're concerned with out-running the good 'ole biological clock? In that case, there's always the option of freezing some eggs now.

[makingfetchhappen]

To be honest, I don't really remember which celebrity. Maybe she married a foreign doctor when she went overseas (which many celebrities do).

 

And I'm not too worried about finding a spouse. I don't have a terribly hard time finding a date now, and I doubt aging another 5-7 years will change that lol. I'm actually more worried about being able to have kids rather than finding a man, because I really, really want to be a mom some day. But I guess I'll figure it out when I get to that point.

The older I have gotten, the easier dating has been. It may sound counter intuitive, but there is a bit of a hook up culture with younger people I think. It gets in the way of meeting someone special.

 

I think that as long as you start trying for your first child by 34, there's not much to worry about.

 

I think that your only real problem here is convincing your parents about all of this.

[Egg_McMuffin]

Edit: 

On second thought, maybe you're concerned with out-running the good 'ole biological clock? In that case, there's always the option of freezing some eggs now.

 

yup that's what I was referring to. so now I know where to spend my LOC the minute I get it

 

The older I have gotten, the easier dating has been. It may sound counter intuitive, but there is a bit of a hook up culture with younger people I think. It gets in the way of meeting someone special.

Ok so things aren't over when you hit your 30s. I should tell my parents this.

I actually do find that dating has gotten easier now compared to when I was in my late teens and early 20s. So hopefully this continues

[makingfetchhappen]

This sounds horrible but I actually started to get a lot more dates once I started law. It's weird that people want to date a lawyer,but apparently it's a thing.

 

It's a bunch of superficial crap, but this is exactly what your parents are throwing at you anyways. They probably have some out dated ideas about people getting married really young. And they are worried that you will be left behind after everyone couples off. Maybe at an older age but not at 30

[Birdy]

yup that's what I was referring to. so now I know where to spend my LOC the minute I get it

 

 

Ok so things aren't over when you hit your 30s. I should tell my parents this.

I actually do find that dating has gotten easier now compared to when I was in my late teens and early 20s. So hopefully this continues

I got married and had kids REALLY young (19 when my husband and I got married and when we had our first. I was 23 when we had our second) but most of my friends who are also in their late twenties are only just starting to think about settling down now and don't really expect to for a few years. Not getting married and starting a family until one's early or mid thirties is really, really common. Plus, lots of people have babies during med school and residency. It's common enough that a lot of residency programs I've read about (curiosity knows no bounds) have parental leave policies.

 

One thing I do suggest to any woman intending to delay childbearing is to discuss it with your family physician. Many people don't really think about their fertility until they want to use it, and there can be issues that get worse with time that you may want to start taking care of long before you want babies. It's something many young women don't think of, so I bring it up.

[makingfetchhappen]

I got married and had kids REALLY young (19 when my husband and I got married and when we had our first. I was 23 when we had our second) but most of my friends who are also in their late twenties are only just starting to think about settling down now and don't really expect to for a few years. Not getting married and starting a family until one's early or mid thirties is really, really common. Plus, lots of people have babies during med school and residency. It's common enough that a lot of residency programs I've read about (curiosity knows no bounds) have parental leave policies.

 

One thing I do suggest to any woman intending to delay childbearing is to discuss it with your family physician. Many people don't really think about their fertility until they want to use it, and there can be issues that get worse with time that you may want to start taking care of long before you want babies. It's something many young women don't think of, so I bring it up.

This is probably a really stupid question. But what steps should a woman take ahead of time other than taking a folic acid supplement?

[Birdy]

This is probably a really stupid question. But what steps should a woman take ahead of time other than taking a folic acid supplement?

Some women may have endometriosis, fibroids, adhesions, anovulatory cycles, PCOS, low ovarian reserve, premature ovarian failure, or other issues that they don't know about because they've never discussed irregularities with their physician. PCOS and endo, for instance, can be managed with BCPs. Low ovarian reserve would necessitate freezing eggs, but better to do that then not ever have any. While most of these have symptoms, some women may not be aware that what THEY experience is abnormal and so may not know it's a sign their fertility is in danger.

 

For instance, I have PCOS. Not having periods indefinitely is rather nice. But not doing so actually puts me at risk of endometrial hyperplasia and endometrial cancer. I've known several other women with PCOS who just don't bother doing anything about going so long. They should either go on BCPs or use provera every few months.

 

Stuff like that. For a woman with no issues, I don't think there's anything that needs to be done besides talking folic acid, but lots of women with fertility problems don't know it until they are trying to conceive.

 

And, of course, the disclaimer of I'm not a doctor yet so nothing I post should be taken as anything other than the amateur opinion of a patient applies here.

[makingfetchhappen]

Some women may have endometriosis, fibroids, adhesions, anovulatory cycles, PCOS, low ovarian reserve, premature ovarian failure, or other issues that they don't know about because they've never discussed irregularities with their physician. PCOS and endo, for instance, can be managed with BCPs. Low ovarian reserve would necessitate freezing eggs, but better to do that then not ever have any. While most of these have symptoms, some women may not be aware that what THEY experience is abnormal and so may not know it's a sign their fertility is in danger.

 

For instance, I have PCOS. Not having periods indefinitely is rather nice. But not doing so actually puts me at risk of endometrial hyperplasia and endometrial cancer. I've known several other women with PCOS who just don't bother doing anything about going so long. They should either go on BCPs or use provera every few months.

 

Stuff like that. For a woman with no issues, I don't think there's anything that needs to be done besides talking folic acid, but lots of women with fertility problems don't know it until they are trying to conceive.

 

And, of course, the disclaimer of I'm not a doctor yet so nothing I post should be taken as anything other than the amateur opinion of a patient applies here.

Oh I see! You definitely know more about this than I do. Thankfully, I have always been regular, etc., so hopefully I will be able to conceive when I try to (early 30s, tick tock, I know). And I will ask my family doc next time I see her.

 

I know that women have a dip in fertility in their late 20s, so it's only my opinion that the rule of thumb is to have your first by 34. I just think that 34 is a good age to aim for if you really want to have children, because after that is when the significant drops in fertility happen. I never wanted to be in so much of a rush to have children that I had to be worried about doing it before 30.

 

That being said, looking back, I probably could have had children during undergrad or law school! This idea out there that you need to have your career in place before you have kids doesn't make as much sense as I first thought. So long as you have the right partner and a financial plan, you can do it during school. You may need to take some time off but that will be the same in your career.

 

I've also seen women worry too little about fertility. We see celebrities have their first baby really late all the time, and some people come to believe that there is no risk in waiting until their late 30s to have their first. To me, that's a little late if you really want a baby and you can avoid waiting that long.

 

Edited to add: when I was 19, I had soooooo much energy. A friend of mine who is in his 40s and had kids later tells me that he thinks people should start to have their kids in their early 20s if they can meet the right person. It makes sense when you think about energy levels! But, it's hard to find the right person in your early 20s, so that puts a big kink in things. So, it's kind of nice that people get to chose all different kinds of paths these days. My mother has told me that she used to worry about not finding a husband, because, back then, women were housewives. Can you imagine having zero choices like that?!

 

[NutritionRunner]

Some women may have endometriosis, fibroids, adhesions, anovulatory cycles, PCOS, low ovarian reserve, premature ovarian failure, or other issues that they don't know about because they've never discussed irregularities with their physician. PCOS and endo, for instance, can be managed with BCPs. Low ovarian reserve would necessitate freezing eggs, but better to do that then not ever have any. While most of these have symptoms, some women may not be aware that what THEY experience is abnormal and so may not know it's a sign their fertility is in danger.

 

For instance, I have PCOS. Not having periods indefinitely is rather nice. But not doing so actually puts me at risk of endometrial hyperplasia and endometrial cancer. I've known several other women with PCOS who just don't bother doing anything about going so long. They should either go on BCPs or use provera every few months.

 

Stuff like that. For a woman with no issues, I don't think there's anything that needs to be done besides talking folic acid, but lots of women with fertility problems don't know it until they are trying to conceive.

 

And, of course, the disclaimer of I'm not a doctor yet so nothing I post should be taken as anything other than the amateur opinion of a patient applies here.

 

Actually, endometriosis can only be managed with BCPs in some women.  Even continuous BCPs don't work for some women.  Some women also continue to suffer and have major amounts of pain even after having mutliple surgeries to excise the lesions.  Unless every tiny bit of endometriosis is excised (almost impossible to do), the lesions can reform and cause major pain.  I even know of some women who have had total hysterectomies and have still have major endometriosis pain due to lesions on their kidneys, their intestines, and basically anywhere in their pelvic region.  Also, many women with endometriosis are never able to conceive, even after having the lesions removed and even with reproductive technologies.  Of course, the "best" chance for a woman with endo (at least according to the physicians who have treated me) is after recovery from surgery to remove the lesions, but it's certainly no guarantee.  I know far too many women with endo who desperately want children but who can't conceive.  Thankfully my husband and I don't want children, so it's not an issue for us. 

 

Like you, I'm no doctor, but I have personal experience with endometriosis and I've been part of support groups for women with endometriosis so I've heard lots of stories.  I've also done lots of research and read extensively about the condition.  I wish BCPs helped, and they do help some women, but certainly not all.

[Birdy]

Oh I see! You definitely know more about this than I do. Thankfully, I have always been regular, etc., so hopefully I will be able to conceive when I try to (early 30s, tick tock, I know). And I will ask my family doc next time I see her.

 

I know that women have a dip in fertility in their late 20s, so it's only my opinion that the rule of thumb is to have your first by 34. I just think that 34 is a good age to aim for if you really want to have children, because after that is when the significant drops in fertility happen. I never wanted to be in so much of a rush to have children that I had to be worried about doing it before 30.

 

That being said, looking back, I probably could have had children during undergrad or law school! This idea out there that you need to have your career in place before you have kids doesn't make as much sense as I first thought. So long as you have the right partner and a financial plan, you can do it during school. You may need to take some time off but that will be the same in your career.

 

I've also seen women worry too little about fertility. We see celebrities have their first baby really late all the time, and some people come to believe that there is no risk in waiting until their late 30s to have their first. To me, that's a little late if you really want a baby and you can avoid waiting that long.

 

I always wanted to have kids young and be done having kids by 25. My husband and I had decided no more after our second because of what a hell of a time we had (3 miscarriages, fertility drugs that made me insane, loss of a twin. I was only 21-23!) But just over a year ago we decided we really want a third. Two early miscarriages and one ectopic since then, but we're still hoping.

 

When we eventually are successful, I only intend to take enough time off to recover from the c/s (risk factors are such that I need one with my next) then my husband will stay home for 8 months parental leave. My very good friend is due September 7 with her second and she'll be taking just the first bit of the semester off to recover then her husband is taking 8 months off work to be home with baby.

 

I know several other women who have had babies during school. Totally do-able. Classes have more flexibility than many jobs do so you can attend school without needing a year off.

[Birdy]

Glitch post. Please delete.

[Birdy]

Actually, endometriosis can only be managed with BCPs in some women. Even continuous BCPs don't work for some women. Some women also continue to suffer and have major amounts of pain even after having mutliple surgeries to excise the lesions. Unless every tiny bit of endometriosis is excised (almost impossible to do), the lesions can reform and cause major pain. I even know of some women who have had total hysterectomies and have still have major endometriosis pain due to lesions on their kidneys, their intestines, and basically anywhere in their pelvic region. Also, many women with endometriosis are never able to conceive, even after having the lesions removed and even with reproductive technologies. Of course, the "best" chance for a woman with endo (at least according to the physicians who have treated me) is after recovery from surgery to remove the lesions, but it's certainly no guarantee. I know far too many women with endo who desperately want children but who can't conceive. Thankfully my husband and I don't want children, so it's not an issue for us.

 

Like you, I'm no doctor, but I have personal experience with endometriosis and I've been part of support groups for women with endometriosis so I've heard lots of stories. I've also done lots of research and read extensively about the condition. I wish BCPs helped, and they do help some women, but certainly not all.

 

Fair enough. I don't have endo so I've never had to deal with it, I just know of a few women in my PCOS group who also have it who were initially put on BCPs to help with the endo before they knew they had PCOS too. My understanding was that it was first line treatment. Thank you for the information. This stuff is way too frequently not discussed among women, so it's helpful to learn something new.

[makingfetchhappen]

I always wanted to have kids young and be done having kids by 25. My husband and I had decided no more after our second because of what a hell of a time we had (3 miscarriages, fertility drugs that made me insane, loss of a twin. I was only 21-23!) But just over a year ago we decided we really want a third. Two early miscarriages and one ectopic since then, but we're still hoping.

 

When we eventually are successful, I only intend to take enough time off to recover from the c/s (risk factors are such that I need one with my next) then my husband will stay home for 8 months parental leave. My very good friend is due September 7 with her second and she'll be taking just the first bit of the semester off to recover then her husband is taking 8 months off work to be home with baby.

 

I know several other women who have had babies during school. Totally do-able. Classes have more flexibility than many jobs do so you can attend school without needing a year off.

Interesting, I was the opposite. I thought that I would not want kids at all, until I turned 20 and my hormones seemed to kick in somehow and that all changed. These are the same hormones that make me waaaay to prone to cry once a month. Thankfully, I am proud to say that I've worked in the adversarial system for 7 years now, and I have yet to cry outside of the privacy of my own office. I imagine medicine would be even worse. Oh well, I have plenty of practice!

 

This being said, I can imagine how fertility drugs would make you nuts.

 

I'm sorry to hear about the miscarriages . I really admire your strength to get through that. It's great that you are open about it because I'm sure that it's common, and a lot of women feel really alone in their pain because people do not talk about it often. It goes to show that fertility can be such a struggle at any age. I've seen women in my family and friends struggle to conceive, so I worry a bit about it and I will feel extremely blessed if things ended up going smoothly!

 

I think that women can find a way to have kids during school or during whenever, it's just good to find what works for you. My BSc and JD were mostly reading and attending classes. I could literally be quite ill and still do those things (I get bored easily so I'm going to be reading or listening to things anyways!). Working as a lawyer on the other hand, I don't think I would be very good at pumping out documents with a baby at home. It takes me a lot more energy to produce things than to read and study. Med is hard to say because I have never done it. But I didn't even get an interview this cycle, so that is a problem that I am not lucky enough to have!

 

I met a civil litigator a while ago who was about 40 years old and pregnant with her second, and she told me that she was on the phone with a client while she was breastfeeding her first baby for the first time! Admirable, sure, but that would not be for me. On the other hand, one of my profs in law school was famous for popping out babies unapologetically, bringing them to class, breast feeding them where ever, and just being all around kind of bad ass about it. I'd like to do that! I get pretty tired of people's attitudes towards having children in law. I literally get asked about my marital and parental status in job interviews. Women get treated like crap in the legal profession in a lot of ways, and it's really unfair. So what if you take like a year off per baby? Over the course of 30-40 years that you may be in the business, a year or two is a drop in the bucket...

 

[Goku]

A friend of mine in his first year of residency was told he has to spend two months doing a mandatory rural medicine rotation..and they placed him in Mississauga LOL

[Falling]

A friend of mine in his first year of residency was told he has to spend two months doing a mandatory rural medicine rotation..and they placed him in Mississauga LOL

 

Does this mean I can apply to NOSM and other rural streams?

[RichardHammond]

One more month till decision day...

[Birdy]

One more month till decision day...

Yup, and I'm going to start going nuts approximately eight days from now. Right after my last exam of third year.

[Organomegaly]

Yup, and I'm going to start going nuts approximately eight days from now. Right after my last exam of third year.

 

oh awks I already started

[Birdy]

oh awks I already started

I'm good at delaying insanity. Not preventing it, just pushing it off to a more convenient time.

 

Have totally had dreams about MUN calling me up and saying they made a mistake and I actually got in, though.

[SillyPanda]

I've definitely already gone batty. One more month.. one more month...