Success Stories- Non Trad Style!

[Heisencat 83]

Where to begin? I tend towards prolixity so go get yourself a cup of tea if you're going to read this.

 

I've documented this whole process in excruciating detail at my blog which, to my immense surprise, has gained a small following. I've met a lot of really wonderful people, virtually "met" even so many more, and this whole crazy journey has just come to a rather triumphant midpoint.

 

Like many of you, I've wanted to be a doctor since I was small.

 

Throughout elementary and middle school, I was a gifted, enthusiastic student. But by high school, I started struggling badly with mental health issues. My parents did not do a good job rising to the challenge I posed. At 16, I started getting real help for myself and things started getting better, but it took a lot of work. I was a terrible student in high school - I just couldn't summon the energy to care.

 

Still, I was accepted to U of O in grade 12, and was going to attend for physics. I was thinking I'd go on to medical physics or medicine; either field appealed to me equally.

 

But almost as soon as my first semester started, my parents threw a huge wrench in the works. As a parent now myself, I still do not agree with their reasoning for what they did. I cannot fathom putting one of my kids in the position that I was placed in. My mother once told me that they didn't think I could succeed at university, as if that excuses what their decisions cost me. It was ten years ago, but still stings.

 

I had to withdraw from U of O. One of the hardest days of my life. I got a couple more jobs pretty much immediately, and started working more than full time. I figured I could save and return to school, where I felt I belonged.

 

It was in November of that year that I met the man who would become my husband. We met and fell in love very quickly and were very surprised to find out in May of 2006, just a couple weeks after we had decided to get married, that we were going to be parents. We were married that summer and our oldest was born in January 2007. I was 19.

 

We moved to my home province when our son was a year old, and spent several years barely scraping by, working jobs in food service, manufacturing, retail, call centres. We were by times quite poor, though things had started looking up for a while before everything collapsed around us. It was my rock bottom, the day I truly felt I was failing as a mother, in the late spring of 2011. My husband went out west to work soon after, but we knew the oil fields would only ever be a temporary option for our family.

 

I knew I needed to go back to school so I could take care of my family properly so I applied to the local university's nursing program in 2012. I was rejected, but somehow had been accepted to the faculty of science. I wasn't thinking I would go, but my husband insisted I consider going and then apply to medicine, like I had always wanted to.

 

I was hesitant, but decided to go for it. Going back to school felt like coming home after a long trip. It was what I was built for. To my surprise, I made a 4.0 my first year. I wrote my MCAT the following summer and to my even greater surprise made a 11/13/10 on my first attempt.

 

Last fall, at the start of third year, I applied to four schools, interviewed at two, and was rejected post-interview from one. This morning, I was accepted to McMaster.

 

I can't even begin to describe how I feel right now. Amazed, perhaps. Surprised. This year has been very difficult for us and this is sort of the first thing to actually go right in a long time. I am so honoured that McMaster considers me someone who would suit their program.

 

Over the last three years, I have been the recipient of so much support from my unwavering husband, my friends, my school, my community, my workplace, and of course PM101. The support has meant the world to me. The number of congratulations I received today moved me to tears.

 

I am so very humbled by today, and this is a day that will live in my memory for the rest of my life.

 

Three years ago I told my husband that people like me don't go to med school. It seemed like a pipe dream. But here I am, and here you can be too.

 

This is such an amazing and inspirational story! Thank you so much for sharing! Congrats on your acceptance and best of luck at Mac (though I doubt you will need it)!

[makingfetchhappen 230]

Sure. Some background: the type of job I have means that sometimes I don't have much going on, other times I can easily be working an 80 hour week. I had tried to prep for the MCAT on my own, but work kept getting in the way and it was super hard staying disciplined. I'd keep whining about how I should be studying, but would never really do so. Add to that the fact that I had never taken physics (what can I say, I managed to avoid it), the MCAT seemed super daunting. Finally I got frustrated with myself and found a Kaplan course that was delivered online. The key for me was that it had live lectures and strict deadlines. Now I can't say I was really impressed with their materials. There were a lot of errors and general lack of polish. That said, their cue cards were super helpful. Though I did end up with one of those long workweek type projects, I would try to take my studying wherever I went. Walking - cue cards. Working out - cue cards. For the drive, I found the exam krackers audio lectures to be somewhat helpful. Their attempts at humour were not the greatest, but hey, at least I stayed immersed in the content.

 

Finally, I took vacation time a week before the exam and really focussed on keeping everything straight. I made myself use a timer to study - one hour study, ten minute break, and repeat. Though most of Kaplan worked for me, their VR strategy just got me worse marks, so I threw it out the window for when I wrote my actual exam. Also, though I did super well with the writing for the practice tests, I managed to get a super bad score on the actual test. Yay for no more writing component.

 

I ended up with a 9 in physics, 12 in verbal and 12 in bio. All in all, I found studying to be quite boring, a bit of a drain and the process made me wonder if going back to school was right for me. Thankfully Mac isn't utterly didactic so I think it'll be much better.

 

Hope that helps.

Yes that's very helpful thank you. This is exactly the sort of thing I would need to do, so your specific strategies of creating structure could come in handy. 

 

Always great to see a non-trad succeed like this, your story is motivating!

[bruhh 219]

I hope to one day learn to fly as far as Birdy has. Congratulations!

[tere 284]

I started in a moderately prosperous part of southwestern ontario. A number of my high school classmates went on to become highly successful investment bankers (including ny), med school and other faculty, etc... Nonetheless, during my initial post-secondary education, after an initial coop term in IT/cs, I truly lost some academic motivation and my grades slipped. I had really "dreamed" of a medical career during this time, but it seemed pretty far away.

I then became involved in research and with a highly upward trend in my grades, was accepted to grad school. I got married while in grad school and ended up completing both a bio related Msc and a PhD, which I found to be interesting. After an extensive job search, I found a university academic position in a smaller community in the maritimes, despite the lack of any teaching experience (academic jobs outside of med are not numerous). However, I went through a divorce in my initial time there, was facing employment uncertainty, and found I wasn't passionate about teaching large intro classes or the research I was doing, and really became interested and believed that I could be a physician.

So, in my mid 30s, I restarted undergraduate and after 1 year of new studies (completing prereqs where applicable), wrote the MCAT and sent out a number of applications (although they weren't perfectly done). Nonetheless, I had two interviews and recently received an unexpected but very welcome acceptance.  I also did a variety of volunteering roles.

I extensively prepared for the MCAT for two to three months and ultimately received decent score last summer, but it was more a question of perspiration rather than inspiration. Ultimately, my score didn't matter, although I was prepared to write the mcat again this year with much more knowledge.

In any case, I hope my story shows that med school is possible, regardless of "twists and turns" in the path of life. Best of luck to everyone.

[bruhh 219]

What a great ending to the uphill battle you were facing. Congrats on your acceptance, you truly deserve it. 

[mmd7 45]

Where to begin? I tend towards prolixity so go get yourself a cup of tea if you're going to read this.

 

I've documented this whole process in excruciating detail at my blog which, to my immense surprise, has gained a small following. I've met a lot of really wonderful people, virtually "met" even so many more, and this whole crazy journey has just come to a rather triumphant midpoint.

 

Like many of you, I've wanted to be a doctor since I was small.

 

Throughout elementary and middle school, I was a gifted, enthusiastic student. But by high school, I started struggling badly with mental health issues. My parents did not do a good job rising to the challenge I posed. At 16, I started getting real help for myself and things started getting better, but it took a lot of work. I was a terrible student in high school - I just couldn't summon the energy to care.

 

Still, I was accepted to U of O in grade 12, and was going to attend for physics. I was thinking I'd go on to medical physics or medicine; either field appealed to me equally.

 

But almost as soon as my first semester started, my parents threw a huge wrench in the works. As a parent now myself, I still do not agree with their reasoning for what they did. I cannot fathom putting one of my kids in the position that I was placed in. My mother once told me that they didn't think I could succeed at university, as if that excuses what their decisions cost me. It was ten years ago, but still stings.

 

I had to withdraw from U of O. One of the hardest days of my life. I got a couple more jobs pretty much immediately, and started working more than full time. I figured I could save and return to school, where I felt I belonged.

 

It was in November of that year that I met the man who would become my husband. We met and fell in love very quickly and were very surprised to find out in May of 2006, just a couple weeks after we had decided to get married, that we were going to be parents. We were married that summer and our oldest was born in January 2007. I was 19.

 

We moved to my home province when our son was a year old, and spent several years barely scraping by, working jobs in food service, manufacturing, retail, call centres. We were by times quite poor, though things had started looking up for a while before everything collapsed around us. It was my rock bottom, the day I truly felt I was failing as a mother, in the late spring of 2011. My husband went out west to work soon after, but we knew the oil fields would only ever be a temporary option for our family.

 

I knew I needed to go back to school so I could take care of my family properly so I applied to the local university's nursing program in 2012. I was rejected, but somehow had been accepted to the faculty of science. I wasn't thinking I would go, but my husband insisted I consider going and then apply to medicine, like I had always wanted to.

 

I was hesitant, but decided to go for it. Going back to school felt like coming home after a long trip. It was what I was built for. To my surprise, I made a 4.0 my first year. I wrote my MCAT the following summer and to my even greater surprise made a 11/13/10 on my first attempt.

 

Last fall, at the start of third year, I applied to four schools, interviewed at two, and was rejected post-interview from one. This morning, I was accepted to McMaster.

 

I can't even begin to describe how I feel right now. Amazed, perhaps. Surprised. This year has been very difficult for us and this is sort of the first thing to actually go right in a long time. I am so honoured that McMaster considers me someone who would suit their program.

 

Over the last three years, I have been the recipient of so much support from my unwavering husband, my friends, my school, my community, my workplace, and of course PM101. The support has meant the world to me. The number of congratulations I received today moved me to tears.

 

I am so very humbled by today, and this is a day that will live in my memory for the rest of my life.

 

Three years ago I told my husband that people like me don't go to med school. It seemed like a pipe dream. But here I am, and here you can be too.

I found your blog a few days before acceptances rolled out after reading a comment somewhere on here and I ended up spending over an hour browsing your old posts - you really have a knack for writing so I hope you continue to blog through your journey in med school and as a doctor. It's nice to see the whole story summed up here - what a journey . To me, and I'm sure you agree, one of the real champions of this story (aside from yourself, of course, as the #1 champion ) is your husband - he must be an amazing person! Congrats!

[Birdy 692]

I found your blog a few days before acceptances rolled out after reading a comment somewhere on here and I ended up spending over an hour browsing your old posts - you really have a knack for writing so I hope you continue to blog through your journey in med school and as a doctor. It's nice to see the whole story summed up here - what a journey . To me, and I'm sure you agree, one of the real champions of this story (aside from yourself, of course, as the #1 champion ) is your husband - he must be an amazing person! Congrats!

Thank you!

 

It would take a lot to get me to stop writing; I enjoy it so much. Though I'm going to need to change the banner of the blog, hah. Not a premed now.

 

And yes, my husband is utterly amazing and I could not do this without him. He's been my rock through all of this and I tell him so regularly. All of this is his work too and he deserves probably more credit for it than I do. He really has an incredible story of his own and I am frankly in awe of him much of the time because of how strong he is, but he's very private so I don't post about his background. The best thing I did in my life is marrying him and I make sure he knows it.

[masalachai 2]

I've also followed your story and your determination and passion is an inspiration to us non-trads! Congratulations! You will make an amazing physician.

[tere 284]

Thanks bruhh!  Good luck to you too - the numbers can be prevailed against - one day at a time.  

[medafter30 75]

Great story aspiringphddoc and birdy! As a non-trad who recent went through the experience of applying to med school, I have respect for both of you and wish nothing but success coming your ways

[tere 284]

Thanks medafter30! Sounds like you also have your own story to tell.

[medafter30 75]

I do!! Mine is not as aspiring as every non-trad here.

 

I moved to Canada when I was 17 and had a tough time adjusting to the new country and culture in the first few years. I finished my BSc in Biochemistry then did not know what to do except knowing that I enjoy research work. So I finished my MSc and then moved on to complete my PhD in biophysics.

 

While advancing my knowledge in science, I have also undergone an evolution in self-identity, where I understand more about myself and what I want to do in this new place I now call home. While enjoying the science part, I understand that I need more than that. I miss the personal interaction that a research career in the lab has not been able to give me. Two summers ago, i started visiting my partner's mom at her nursing home. She suffers from dementia so it was very emotional for me to see. I wanted to do something small to make a change in her life. I sang, I made jokes to make her laugh. To me, her laughter and happiness are invaluable. Those moments with her in the nursing home were the moments I knew I wanted to become a medical doctor, where I can put my passion for science and human interaction.

 

I started volunteering at the nursing home, pediatric units in the hospital and such... I love my volunteer work. I started taking the MCAT.. It was not easy for me as VR was my weak part. I redid the MCAT while finishing my PhD and applying to medical schools at the same time. I got so much support from my supervisors and labmates that juggling between many tasks seem a bit easier at time.

 

I got 3 interviews at UBC, Ottawa, and McGill. I suddenly realized that my goal of attending medical school became much closer. So I started practicing with friends that I made on this pre-med forum. We were all strangers, gathering every weekend to practice and help each other with interview skills. We have all become such close friends and I was so thankful that I made so many new and incredible friends from this forum that share the same dream and passion.

 

Two days ago, I was notified that I got off the waitlist at McGill and I could not be happier to reach a step closer to my dream!!  Finishing my PhD, getting into medical schools and getting published at the same year seem like such a success for me. But the most valuable thing that I got out of this experience is the tremendous support from everyone for me. I want to thank my family, my friends, my professors and everyone on here who have helped me at one point or another. And I hope to carry this tradition of the forum to help other people achieve their medical dreams as well!!

[Belle_MD 131]

Hi guys!

 

I have wanted to post in this very thread for 5 years now and I am SO happy that I can finally do that today.

 

My journey started in 2010, I was a student in the 2nd entry nursing program at UOttawa (before that I had done a psych degree, not all full-time years). While I was a student I became very interested in medicine and decided to take a chance and study for the MCAT in the summer before going into 4th year. At that time, I had never taken sciences beyond grade 11 chemistry and bio....I did prep classes but ultimately I bombed the MCAT, especially the physical sciences section (I mean BOMBED!! haha). So no surprise there I was rejected pre-interview at the 2 schools I applied to. I really had no clue what I was doing and how competitive this process is, or what it took to actually have a shot at interviewing. This forum was a huge wake up call for me! At that point, I put medicine on the back-burner and focused on finishing nursing and ended up getting my dream nursing job.

 

After working as a nurse for 2 years, I still kept thinking about medicine. I started studying for the MCAT once again, but was still struggling, especially with the sciences. I became very discouraged and started to explore my options. Ultimately, I was pretty certain I was never going to ace the MCAT, but I knew I could ace university courses and get myself a stellar GPA if I wanted to...so I set my sights on Ottawa U and choose the path that was most realistic for me. I knew it was very limiting only applying to one school and putting all my eggs in 1 basket, but for me it made the most sense. But another roadblock - my nursing degree was not considered full time by Ottawa U, so I would have to go back to school yet again for another degree (my 3rd undergrad degree! yikes!). I had one full-time year from my psych studies, with an OK GPA (3.7)....so my goal was to go back full-time, get straight As to boost my GPA, and at the same time get lots of great experiences to add to my application. I left a full time permanent nursing job to take a huge pay cut in a part-time research job, and also took 2 casual nursing jobs - all so I could pay the bills (barely!) and chase this dream. It wasn't easy but I made it work - balanced my studies with 3 jobs and multiple volunteer and extracurricular activities. With a lot of hard work I finished those 2 years with a 3.98 GPA and I was in a good position to apply to UOttawa. But another hurdle I had to jump were the dreaded science prereqs - I barely passed chemistry in high school and was so afraid of taking these courses. This past year I completed all 6 science prereqs and got myself an amazing tutor, who helped me get As in those classes!

 

I was ecstatic this year just to receive an interview from Ottawa U. Many people on this forum reviewed my application for me and gave me so much valuable feedback!! I prepped like crazy for the interview and felt it went really well. May 12th came around and I was waitlisted - yes I was disappointed, but I knew just getting the interview meant I was on the right track. Yesterday I was feeling pretty down and was prepping myself for the reality that I would likely have to apply again this summer. And then this morning happened! I received the email that I was off the wailist and offered admission into Ottawa U! I still can't believe this happened to me!

 

My story is not the most exciting I know, but I hope it inspires other non-trads like me - you don't have to ace the MCAT or be a science genius to get into medical school. You have to choose the path that is right for you and the most realistic. It is definitely more limiting, but it's not impossible if you put everything you have into it!

 

Thank you to everyone on here who has helped me along the way!

[Birdy 692]

Soooo happy for you Belle_RN!!!! What amazing perseverance. Congratulations!

[Liz30 30]

Soooo happy for you Belle_RN!!!! What amazing perseverance. Congratulations!

Yes, what Birdy said. That's some crazy level of perseverance! How did you stay so focused? Congrats again.

[Borborygmi 231]

Belle_RN: that is some serious determination and willingness to take risks amidst a great deal of uncertainty. Congratulations! Really inspiring work ethic and it must be a huge relief for you.

[tere 284]

That's a great story and give yourself full credit!  It took a lot of sacrifice and determination to get there.  I'm sure you could have also handled the mcat as well - you got over your science chem fears!  Good luck!  Congrats!

[Belle_MD 131]

Thanks everyone!!! Liz30 it wasn't always easy to stay focused; had many days where I second guessed myself and thought about quitting. But I knew I wanted it and I believed in myself, I think that was the biggest thing, just believing I could do this if I kept going. And it worked out! .

 

And thanks Birdy! So happy for you too!!!

[chenoa 23]

Huge congrats Belle_RN! Yay nurses  

[Friendly Magpie 181]

Congratulations medafter30 and Belle_RN (now Belle_MD I see!  ). I'm always happy to see non-trads get in. You both deserve it.

[bruhh 219]

Three undergrads and still didn't give up. Your perseverance is admirable. Congratulations!

[Goop 18]

I was debating for a long time now regarding whether or not to post here...sadly my dream of becoming a physician has not, and will not ever be realized. However I would still like to share my story, which I will reluctantly call a success story (though really, only time will tell). It's going to be long (as an after note: It took me about 2.5 hours to type), and I apologize in advance. I don't mean to be presumptuous here and assume that anyone really cares about my story, but I am thinking of writing an autobiography as it would likely be fairly entertaining.

 

------------------------

 

Early life, leading to why I want(ed) to be a physician

 

I was born to a poor family - we're talking the kind you'd see on TV shows poking fun at poor families. The kind with kids that would wear dirty clothes with those little animated stink lines coming off of them (indeed, clothes were a luxury). My parents tried their best... my mother was incapable of working, and my father worked those insecure, dangerous jobs to support us, though those never seemed to last. He'd try to balance his time between shift-work and helping to enrich the lives of his kids, particularly academically. See he didn't have the opportunities I've had - he started a university degree but was unable to complete it as he couldn't pay his tuition. Despite this, he was brilliant and resourceful, he read many books that he'd pick up for free here and there (math, science and history books mostly) and would pass his knowledge on.

 

I had a knack for it - I learned mathematics very quickly and early (it would be no exaggeration to say I was doing calculus, and understanding it, in grade 3) thanks to his guidance and it ultimately shaped the rest of my life, as well as my academic interests. I was a straight A student who had the talent, and the brains to know that I needed to work hard. I had many things in childhood that I would say make me quite privileged, a father who gave me the time of day, and a traditional family that treasured the concept of a tight-knit family. "We don't need money to be happy" my mother would always say.

 

As some of you may attest to, able-bodied people never really notice say, handicap parking spaces, or ramps/elevators until you either have a disabled friend/family member, or break your leg and have to use an assistive device. That being said, life is immensely difficult for the unwealthy, and you could never really understand the stigma unless you've been forced to live it. Statistically speaking, someone in my family should be an alcoholic (just based on numerical data) and granted, if we had the money to spend on it, at least one of us probably would have been. True or not, I was certainly treated as a drug abuser/alcoholic/future criminal by many I interacted with, other students, even many of my elementary school teachers (one of whom likely made the observation, and then gossiped to the rest).

 

A turning point came in grade 6, I took it very personally when I wasn't selected for an academic award in math. I don't think I can accurately portray why this bothered me so much (perhaps it's even one of those irrational "kid things") despite having aced the EQAO (literally, my principal called my parents in to congratulate me) and placing 1st in the province in a UWaterloo math contest for grade 9s. To this day I don't know what basis I wasn't selected on, but the thing that immediately sprung to mind back then, and I have yet to shake from my mind, was prejudice. I felt discriminated against despite all of my hard work, and the only reason I could think of for being discriminated against, was being poor.

 

So naturally, I "rebelled" against the school, and my parents who were upset with me for not being picked (and had somehow assumed I was being lazy, and took the teachers' side...man, don't you wish parents still had teachers' backs? Haha), naturally my marks dropped like a rock. If I'm not going to be appreciated/acknowledged for my effort, why put the effort in? If I wouldn't be able to afford going to university and getting a good job anyway, why should I bother? From Grade 6-10 my marks went from high 90s to low 70s and even 60s...kind of wish I could go back and time and slap myself, but don't we all.

 

In grade 11, the kindness and support from one teacher helped me turn things around - I was in desperate need of corrective lenses (for probably about 10 years by that point) and simply couldn't afford it...so my teacher advocated to the school admin, who wrote me a cheque and told me to go get an eye exam done and buy some glasses. I was moved by this gesture, here was someone who not only didn't see me as "that smelly kid who's going to end up a criminal" and instead felt compassion. As you'd expect, I began to try once more and my marks immediately jumped back up into the 90s. In grade 12 I had that game-changer moment - I realized I could go to university, a thought which had never occurred to me. To get into the program I wanted, it required I do a "victory lap" year (as I hadn't taken enough science up to that point) to fill in the last science.

 

------------------------

 

The real game-changer - why medicine?

 

About a month before beginning my victory lap year of high school, my dad woke me up one morning at about 6am saying his chest hurt and that he wanted to sleep on my bed as it was more comfortable. I went and slept on the couch without giving it another thought, he was perfectly fine after all. A few hours later when I woke up again he was insisting he needed to go to the hospital. My mom didn't take him seriously and kind of rolled her eyes at him, and so she sent me with him to the ER. We had to take the bus as we had no vehicle. Upon arriving at the ER, we found out my father's health card was expired by about 5 months or so, and were given a sheet outlining the various medical costs we'd incur. Naturally being unable to afford any of it, we immediately went downtown to get his card renewed. We had just done so and were on our way out of the building when he collapsed from a heart attack on the elevator down. The paramedics arrived after what felt like an eternity (it always does, doesn't it?) and pronounced him dead on arrival. I was dumbfounded, he had no family history, no prior episodes, and seemed perfectly fine even the day before. He was also in his 40s...his only real risk factor that I'm aware of was, you guessed it, being poor.

 

This instilled in me a burning hatrid/fear of both, elevators, and the current medical system. I had vowed to do everything I can to become a doctor so I could do my part in preventing tragedies like this.

 

As if coping with the loss wasn't bad enough, there went our family's sole financial provider (my mother is disabled). Despite this I finished up my final year of high school while battling what I can only assume was undiagnosed depression, using studying as a coping mechanism. I memorized my biology textbook front to back (even the obscure vitamins/minerals in table form) as I'd read it for about 7 hours a day while remaining focused on that goal. Thankfully I applied to university and was accepted to every program I'd applied to, and some even had a fairly respectable entrance scholarship. I chose a Kinesiology program that was local as I wanted to cut down on costs.

 

------------------------

 

The Ordeal

 

Things did not look up for long however and eventually the OSAP/scholarship funds dwindled. By December of my first year, we were unable to pay rent and by February, we were evicted, with nowhere to stay and little money to feed ourselves with. We were homeless. Being the eldest male I took it upon myself to try and find work, so I wound up finding a job at a steel refinery, drilling holes into locomotive parts. Unfortunately I could not keep up and had to make a difficult choice - should I give up university to go work full time in the steel mill to feed my family?

 

I decided not to, after consulting my family...they didn't want me to drop out like my father did, and instead I looked to tutoring. I applied for, and was offered a TA job and also began tutoring local students in first year calculus. However I was so desperate that I did not charge a competitive rate - I sat in the math building of my alma mater with a sign that read "Need help, will tutor (math course codes) for food :(" hoping for passers by to take me up on my offer...and they did. I thought it was smart to sit beside the cafe/deli so people could just buy a sandwich and give it to me in exchange for an hour of calculus help.

 

Unfortunately, some people are inhumane and would call security on me, so I had to convince my university that I had extreme financial need. They offered me a bursary, allowed me to continue tutoring but asked me not to hold up the sign as that "detracted from the university environment" whatever that meant. So we compromised, I sat near a blackboard with "Calculus Help! Will take a sandwich :)" written on it. The university accepted this, as it made it appear more like a school function, and didn't look "quite so homeless." I would now find that a bit insulting, but I was thankful for anything I could get.

 

It was at this point that I abandoned my hopes of becoming a physician. My colleagues were all gearing up to take the MCAT that summer with their fancy prep courses and books, and here I was struggling to feed myself and clean my clothes. I was crushed, but kept telling myself "People like me don't become doctors." It helped a bit...

 

That continued for about a month... and thankfully I saved up enough to pay off the landlord and move into a new place. But it didn't last... I'll never forget that sinking feeling, that defeated feeling in my heart when I realized it was almost exam time. You might think I was worried about my own exams, given I had very little time or motivation to study, but that had nothing to do with it. That meant the semester would break for the summer which meant two things - First, my TA work would be over, and secondly, the demand for tutoring would drop...both of which supported us for the time being. I was utterly heartbroken, and terrified.

 

But a miracle happened - my mom came into some money from the government which provided enough to pay rent and utilities. We were set, and I had a place to live...the ordeal was over!

 

I finished my first year with a 3.0 GPA...a proverbial premed hole that, to this day, I've been unable to climb out of.

 

-------------------------

 

The rest of my B.Sc. - an important switch

 

Years 2-4 were relatively uneventful with only mild crises occurring. Unfortunately in nearly every one of those years, I had to drop a course due to some pressing financial need (ie. in second year I dropped a course because my mom needed some medication, and I got about a $400 refund on the course). I had a strong upward trend, 3.7 in both my 2nd and 3rd years. At this point I decided that I had virtually no chance at getting into medical school (rightfully so from the looks of it), so I began looking for other options.

 

I had met my better half during those years as well, whose moral support has almost certainly kept me from suicide. She was a math major and one year my senior (due to that victory lap year)... despite having had a real knack for math, I hadn't taken any of it at university besides elementary calculus. I got numerous course waivers to take some upper year math courses with her and developed my love affair with math even further - it didn't matter that I'd skipped about six courses, when I took that advanced course in topology I killed it and loved it...so I switched to math in my final year, overloaded with 12 3rd and 4th year math courses (to meet the minimum number of credits needed to graduate) and nailed it, with a 3.9 that year. Unfortunately even that is kind of "meh" by premed standards.

 

-------------------------

 

What comes next? More education of course

 

Those particular courses, so-called "Pure" math (or "theoretical math" to the layman) take a special kind of person to take. That paired with the fact that I was attending a university with a fairly small math program, implied that my upper level courses rarely had more then about 5 people in them. I was the star of those courses once again, just like in elementary school, and so I stood out amongst my peers, and was coerced into applying for a masters degree in the field. "People like me can get masters degrees?" Keep in mind, no one in my family has ever completed university before...and now I was considering doing a Masters? Was I crazy? Could I even manage it?

 

What followed were easily the best two years of my life. I received some funding which helped immensely and I had a brilliant supervisor who taught me so much about life, reality and how to live. I specialized in a niche-field of mathematics known as knot theory (quite literally - using complicated math ideas to explain/differentiate between different knots). I began reading all about DNA and how the "Unknotting number (a mumbo-jumbo math idea)" is a quantity that was preserved via gel electrophoresis, and that charge/mass/other obvious things didn't explain it as well as this crazy math idea. I began writing a book on the subject as part of my dissertation, stumbled upon a cool new field that just came into existence ("Virtual" knot theory) and began corresponding with professors in Japan, where the field was in its infancy. Imagine having to look up articles in your field, then using google translate on them because the only ones in existence were Japanese! I taught my supervisor about it, and the field has since grown in the western world, and I played a part in it which I'm rather proud of. I wrote the first english textbook on the subject, and in the process, proved a really cool theorem that I accidentally stumbled upon...this constituted my research thesis.

 

Unfortunately I had a falling out with one professor in my department who, sadly, was an expert in a related field whose support I really needed to pursue doctoral studies. I did not feel like fighting it and got depressed once again, feeling as though my life was a big joke. "People like me don't become doctors" I was still telling myself, only this time I meant it as a "PhD" kind of doctor. Searching for a new path was when I re-realized my dream to be a physician. Unfortunately, I was as non-traditional as they came - no pre-requisites, no MCAT, no hospital involvement, and no "premed-y" stuff at all. I used some of my grant money to write the MCAT for the first time, but unfortunately I scored rather mediocrely so I chose, like a broken record, not to pursue medicine. "People like me don't become doctors." Instead I applied to teacher's college and was accepted.

 

Teacher's Ed was fairly uneventful for me, but sadly the Ontario Government imposed new regulations on hiring practices for teachers...as I was finishing up teachers college. It now takes on average 6 years for a teacher (once they become a supply teacher) to become a full time teacher. Naturally, despite having done everything right IMHO, I just couldn't land that coveted supply teacher job...for 3 years (and counting) so I can't even start the counter on those 6 years, and they only open the supply list once per year (it's a lot like med apps, haha). If it's going to take me at least 6 years to become a teacher, why wouldn't I pursue med school? I'd have to be an idiot not to try, right?

 

So there I was - three degrees, a lot of education-related debt, and not really employable...so I went full force into two things - tutoring math and science (which I had done all along, and now command a rather respectable hourly rate with all of my credentials), and obsessing over this idea of becoming a physician.

 

-------------------------

 

Fixing myself for the adcoms

 

I applied for the first cycle after finishing my B.Ed. (2013-2014) to the only schools I satisfied the requirements for (I still don't have those pesky orgo pre-reqs) - Queens, Mac and UofT. I told myself "If I can land that interview, I know I can nail it...I have so much I can talk about! But I don't look very good on paper, I realize that, so I may never get the chance. If I get an interview, I will reapply, if not, I won't." Queens and Mac rejected me early in the process, but UofT held onto me until the last interview spots were filled. It was utter agony to be kept waiting that long! But it gave me renewed confidence - UofT was interested, maybe with a different applicant pool, or slightly improved stats, I could get an interview spot! It was around this time that I joined PM101.

 

So I had a renewed passion, I was surrounded by colleagues in similar, or even worse situations, who were all supporting each other and pulling toward that same goal. In no small way, has this forum and its kind people impacted my journey and for that I'm thankful. I began to study incredibly hard for an MCAT re-write, saved up money and got some help from my mother in law to pay for books and AAMC Practice Tests, and OMSAS fees, so I was off to the races. By the end, my score was in the high 30s! I was pumped, wrote the test...and scored significantly lower on test day, but still had a respectable 12/10/11.

 

I began volunteering like crazy too, at a hospital notably (as I had no prior clinical experience) and with the elderly, particularly with dementia patients and those with special needs/mental disabilities. A truly humbling experience, but it wasn't always rewarding as it can be extremely difficult. Regardless I did what any premed would do - I manned up and did it, and I tried my best. Over the past few years (beginning before teachers college) I also helped pilot a youth centre for underprivileged kids where I taught them math and breakdancing and tied them together. It was tremendously successful, and I began managing the finances over this past year. Unfortunately, it's a non-profit so this didn't provide me with any income!

 

Unfortunately because of all of this investing of time and money into med apps, my very carefully budgeted/balanced finances for myself and my family didn't really hold up. My family began to have problems paying their bills as I couldn't siphon money their way, and there have been several close calls that could have resulted in a similar ordeal to that dark time during my undergrad. I felt (and still feel) horribly selfish for pursuing my dreams against all odds this past while.

 

-------------------------

 

Another Dark Period

 

In January of this year, I received a rejection from Mac and Queens. Queens disappointed me tremendously and infuriated me. I was finally over their cutoffs, it was supposed to come down to extracurriculars, and wow what a story I've got! This was my year... but sadly, it wasn't so. I harboured an incredible amount of resentment - why have I been wasting my time and energy? Why has my hard work never been beneficial? Why does everything I touch seem to turn to crap? I've wasted the past x years of my life....etc.

 

It was so difficult to keep the feelings inside, to feel like all I've done in my life is give to others and try my best, only to have life and the people in it give nothing in return. It felt so right, that I'd make a career out of helping others because it was what came so naturally to me... I was furious and not myself for several days, to the point where some of my loved ones were crying, intervention-style, telling me they didn't want me to become some broken person...and I finally had access to something I hadn't had previously, which concerned them: alcohol.

 

Before things got too dire I snapped out of it, thanks to my better half. If I didn't have enough moral support, I may have ended my life right then and there. All I could see were rejection letters, financial difficulties, and biological clocks spinning out of control...I needed my way out.

 

-------------------------

 

My Success? It's all in how you look at it

 

I began to look into alternatives at this point, including other programs, or jobs I could do with my current education level. I stumbled upon a few that clicked with me, ranging from chiropractic to mathematical finance, to computer science, to a doctorate in theoretical physics of all things. I applied, and naturally, got into all of them (except for some I'm still waiting on). I realized at this point that even though I'm not meant to be a doctor, I've still overcome tremendous odds and will continue to overcome these odds. I'm still a pretty darn smart guy, and I've done really well for myself.

 

I had an interview for a particularly competitive program (but one more up my alley in terms of being math-y), where the interviewer wound up boasting about why I was great, instead of the other way around. It was ridiculous, all these things that adcoms didn't think were enough impressed nearly everyone else in every other walk of life. I was accepted, nearly instantly, to a highly competitive professional masters program (they only accept 6 students, 1 guaranteed from Canada, 5 more international, and it's the only such program in Canada) which promises a really good salary at the end of the day. Best of all, it's employable - it takes very specialized math skills so they can't train very many people at a time. Apparently, I have a skill set which clearly the med adcoms do not value, but which made me a perfect match for this career.

 

So I had to make the judgement call - turn down my offers and try for medicine again (and risk having my family become homeless again during the next year or two), or accept...I'd be foolish not to. Sure it's boring and not my passion, but I will gladly take this offer. The program is expensive so I'm currently in the process of procuring a loan with some difficulty due to my "shady financial history" (ie. I was born into the wrong family). 

 

With this, I slowly but surely, gave up the fantasy of becoming a physician. "People like me don't become doctors" is something I'll be telling myself for a long time now...but with each passing day, I can finally feel that resentment slipping away. If adcoms don't want me, then it's their loss...not mine. It's time to build my new life and say good bye to my old one.

 

And right on schedule, a few days ago, UofT sent me my final rejection. Ironically, despite devoting all that time and energy to bettering myself, I did worse this year. I was not interview wait-listed, which means I have no idea how far into the process I got.

 

-------------------------

 

The conclusion - my new dream, the moral of the story, and farewell

 

"People like me don't become doctors....they become good people and good parents."

 

My new dream is not to be a doctor, but instead to provide my family and children with the ability to follow their dreams unhindered...and I will do this even if it means sacrificing my own personal desire to be a physician. This is a dream that I can finally see come to pass.

 

Don't be fooled, not even for a second - if you're here reading this, you are destined for greatness. You're the cream of the crop, even if medicine doesn't work out... even if life hasn't been kind to you... I promise you. Things will improve.

You rock.

[NutritionRunner 78]

Congratulations Belle!

[Edict 554]

I was debating for a long time now regarding whether or not to post here...sadly my dream of becoming a physician has not, and will not ever be realized. However I would still like to share my story, which I will reluctantly call a success story (though really, only time will tell). It's going to be long (as an after note: It took me about 2.5 hours to type), and I apologize in advance. I don't mean to be presumptuous here and assume that anyone really cares about my story, but I am thinking of writing an autobiography as it would likely be fairly entertaining.

 

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Early life, leading to why I want(ed) to be a physician

 

I was born to a poor family - we're talking the kind you'd see on TV shows poking fun at poor families. The kind with kids that would wear dirty clothes with those little animated stink lines coming off of them (indeed, clothes were a luxury). My parents tried their best... my mother was incapable of working, and my father worked those insecure, dangerous jobs to support us, though those never seemed to last. He'd try to balance his time between shift-work and helping to enrich the lives of his kids, particularly academically. See he didn't have the opportunities I've had - he started a university degree but was unable to complete it as he couldn't pay his tuition. Despite this, he was brilliant and resourceful, he read many books that he'd pick up for free here and there (math, science and history books mostly) and would pass his knowledge on.

 

I had a knack for it - I learned mathematics very quickly and early (it would be no exaggeration to say I was doing calculus, and understanding it, in grade 3) thanks to his guidance and it ultimately shaped the rest of my life, as well as my academic interests. I was a straight A student who had the talent, and the brains to know that I needed to work hard. I had many things in childhood that I would say make me quite privileged, a father who gave me the time of day, and a traditional family that treasured the concept of a tight-knit family. "We don't need money to be happy" my mother would always say.

 

As some of you may attest to, able-bodied people never really notice say, handicap parking spaces, or ramps/elevators until you either have a disabled friend/family member, or break your leg and have to use an assistive device. That being said, life is immensely difficult for the unwealthy, and you could never really understand the stigma unless you've been forced to live it. Statistically speaking, someone in my family should be an alcoholic (just based on numerical data) and granted, if we had the money to spend on it, at least one of us probably would have been. True or not, I was certainly treated as a drug abuser/alcoholic/future criminal by many I interacted with, other students, even many of my elementary school teachers (one of whom likely made the observation, and then gossiped to the rest).

 

A turning point came in grade 6, I took it very personally when I wasn't selected for an academic award in math. I don't think I can accurately portray why this bothered me so much (perhaps it's even one of those irrational "kid things") despite having aced the EQAO (literally, my principal called my parents in to congratulate me) and placing 1st in the province in a UWaterloo math contest for grade 9s. To this day I don't know what basis I wasn't selected on, but the thing that immediately sprung to mind back then, and I have yet to shake from my mind, was prejudice. I felt discriminated against despite all of my hard work, and the only reason I could think of for being discriminated against, was being poor.

 

So naturally, I "rebelled" against the school, and my parents who were upset with me for not being picked (and had somehow assumed I was being lazy, and took the teachers' side...man, don't you wish parents still had teachers' backs? Haha), naturally my marks dropped like a rock. If I'm not going to be appreciated/acknowledged for my effort, why put the effort in? If I wouldn't be able to afford going to university and getting a good job anyway, why should I bother? From Grade 6-10 my marks went from high 90s to low 70s and even 60s...kind of wish I could go back and time and slap myself, but don't we all.

 

In grade 11, the kindness and support from one teacher helped me turn things around - I was in desperate need of corrective lenses (for probably about 10 years by that point) and simply couldn't afford it...so my teacher advocated to the school admin, who wrote me a cheque and told me to go get an eye exam done and buy some glasses. I was moved by this gesture, here was someone who not only didn't see me as "that smelly kid who's going to end up a criminal" and instead felt compassion. As you'd expect, I began to try once more and my marks immediately jumped back up into the 90s. In grade 12 I had that game-changer moment - I realized I could go to university, a thought which had never occurred to me. To get into the program I wanted, it required I do a "victory lap" year (as I hadn't taken enough science up to that point) to fill in the last science.

 

------------------------

 

The real game-changer - why medicine?

 

About a month before beginning my victory lap year of high school, my dad woke me up one morning at about 6am saying his chest hurt and that he wanted to sleep on my bed as it was more comfortable. I went and slept on the couch without giving it another thought, he was perfectly fine after all. A few hours later when I woke up again he was insisting he needed to go to the hospital. My mom didn't take him seriously and kind of rolled her eyes at him, and so she sent me with him to the ER. We had to take the bus as we had no vehicle. Upon arriving at the ER, we found out my father's health card was expired by about 5 months or so, and were given a sheet outlining the various medical costs we'd incur. Naturally being unable to afford any of it, we immediately went downtown to get his card renewed. We had just done so and were on our way out of the building when he collapsed from a heart attack on the elevator down. The paramedics arrived after what felt like an eternity (it always does, doesn't it?) and pronounced him dead on arrival. I was dumbfounded, he had no family history, no prior episodes, and seemed perfectly fine even the day before. He was also in his 40s...his only real risk factor that I'm aware of was, you guessed it, being poor.

 

This instilled in me a burning hatrid/fear of both, elevators, and the current medical system. I had vowed to do everything I can to become a doctor so I could do my part in preventing tragedies like this.

 

As if coping with the loss wasn't bad enough, there went our family's sole financial provider (my mother is disabled). Despite this I finished up my final year of high school while battling what I can only assume was undiagnosed depression, using studying as a coping mechanism. I memorized my biology textbook front to back (even the obscure vitamins/minerals in table form) as I'd read it for about 7 hours a day while remaining focused on that goal. Thankfully I applied to university and was accepted to every program I'd applied to, and some even had a fairly respectable entrance scholarship. I chose a Kinesiology program that was local as I wanted to cut down on costs.

 

------------------------

 

The Ordeal

 

Things did not look up for long however and eventually the OSAP/scholarship funds dwindled. By December of my first year, we were unable to pay rent and by February, we were evicted, with nowhere to stay and little money to feed ourselves with. We were homeless. Being the eldest male I took it upon myself to try and find work, so I wound up finding a job at a steel refinery, drilling holes into locomotive parts. Unfortunately I could not keep up and had to make a difficult choice - should I give up university to go work full time in the steel mill to feed my family?

 

I decided not to, after consulting my family...they didn't want me to drop out like my father did, and instead I looked to tutoring. I applied for, and was offered a TA job and also began tutoring local students in first year calculus. However I was so desperate that I did not charge a competitive rate - I sat in the math building of my alma mater with a sign that read "Need help, will tutor (math course codes) for food :(" hoping for passers by to take me up on my offer...and they did. I thought it was smart to sit beside the cafe/deli so people could just buy a sandwich and give it to me in exchange for an hour of calculus help.

 

Unfortunately, some people are inhumane and would call security on me, so I had to convince my university that I had extreme financial need. They offered me a bursary, allowed me to continue tutoring but asked me not to hold up the sign as that "detracted from the university environment" whatever that meant. So we compromised, I sat near a blackboard with "Calculus Help! Will take a sandwich :)" written on it. The university accepted this, as it made it appear more like a school function, and didn't look "quite so homeless." I would now find that a bit insulting, but I was thankful for anything I could get.

 

It was at this point that I abandoned my hopes of becoming a physician. My colleagues were all gearing up to take the MCAT that summer with their fancy prep courses and books, and here I was struggling to feed myself and clean my clothes. I was crushed, but kept telling myself "People like me don't become doctors." It helped a bit...

 

That continued for about a month... and thankfully I saved up enough to pay off the landlord and move into a new place. But it didn't last... I'll never forget that sinking feeling, that defeated feeling in my heart when I realized it was almost exam time. You might think I was worried about my own exams, given I had very little time or motivation to study, but that had nothing to do with it. That meant the semester would break for the summer which meant two things - First, my TA work would be over, and secondly, the demand for tutoring would drop...both of which supported us for the time being. I was utterly heartbroken, and terrified.

 

But a miracle happened - my mom came into some money from the government which provided enough to pay rent and utilities. We were set, and I had a place to live...the ordeal was over!

 

I finished my first year with a 3.0 GPA...a proverbial premed hole that, to this day, I've been unable to climb out of.

 

-------------------------

 

The rest of my B.Sc. - an important switch

 

Years 2-4 were relatively uneventful with only mild crises occurring. Unfortunately in nearly every one of those years, I had to drop a course due to some pressing financial need (ie. in second year I dropped a course because my mom needed some medication, and I got about a $400 refund on the course). I had a strong upward trend, 3.7 in both my 2nd and 3rd years. At this point I decided that I had virtually no chance at getting into medical school (rightfully so from the looks of it), so I began looking for other options.

 

I had met my better half during those years as well, whose moral support has almost certainly kept me from suicide. She was a math major and one year my senior (due to that victory lap year)... despite having had a real knack for math, I hadn't taken any of it at university besides elementary calculus. I got numerous course waivers to take some upper year math courses with her and developed my love affair with math even further - it didn't matter that I'd skipped about six courses, when I took that advanced course in topology I killed it and loved it...so I switched to math in my final year, overloaded with 12 3rd and 4th year math courses (to meet the minimum number of credits needed to graduate) and nailed it, with a 3.9 that year. Unfortunately even that is kind of "meh" by premed standards.

 

-------------------------

 

What comes next? More education of course

 

Those particular courses, so-called "Pure" math (or "theoretical math" to the layman) take a special kind of person to take. That paired with the fact that I was attending a university with a fairly small math program, implied that my upper level courses rarely had more then about 5 people in them. I was the star of those courses once again, just like in elementary school, and so I stood out amongst my peers, and was coerced into applying for a masters degree in the field. "People like me can get masters degrees?" Keep in mind, no one in my family has ever completed university before...and now I was considering doing a Masters? Was I crazy? Could I even manage it?

 

What followed were easily the best two years of my life. I received some funding which helped immensely and I had a brilliant supervisor who taught me so much about life, reality and how to live. I specialized in a niche-field of mathematics known as knot theory (quite literally - using complicated math ideas to explain/differentiate between different knots). I began reading all about DNA and how the "Unknotting number (a mumbo-jumbo math idea)" is a quantity that was preserved via gel electrophoresis, and that charge/mass/other obvious things didn't explain it as well as this crazy math idea. I began writing a book on the subject as part of my dissertation, stumbled upon a cool new field that just came into existence ("Virtual" knot theory) and began corresponding with professors in Japan, where the field was in its infancy. Imagine having to look up articles in your field, then using google translate on them because the only ones in existence were Japanese! I taught my supervisor about it, and the field has since grown in the western world, and I played a part in it which I'm rather proud of. I wrote the first english textbook on the subject, and in the process, proved a really cool theorem that I accidentally stumbled upon...this constituted my research thesis.

 

Unfortunately I had a falling out with one professor in my department who, sadly, was an expert in a related field whose support I really needed to pursue doctoral studies. I did not feel like fighting it and got depressed once again, feeling as though my life was a big joke. "People like me don't become doctors" I was still telling myself, only this time I meant it as a "PhD" kind of doctor. Searching for a new path was when I re-realized my dream to be a physician. Unfortunately, I was as non-traditional as they came - no pre-requisites, no MCAT, no hospital involvement, and no "premed-y" stuff at all. I used some of my grant money to write the MCAT for the first time, but unfortunately I scored rather mediocrely so I chose, like a broken record, not to pursue medicine. "People like me don't become doctors." Instead I applied to teacher's college and was accepted.

 

Teacher's Ed was fairly uneventful for me, but sadly the Ontario Government imposed new regulations on hiring practices for teachers...as I was finishing up teachers college. It now takes on average 6 years for a teacher (once they become a supply teacher) to become a full time teacher. Naturally, despite having done everything right IMHO, I just couldn't land that coveted supply teacher job...for 3 years (and counting) so I can't even start the counter on those 6 years, and they only open the supply list once per year (it's a lot like med apps, haha). If it's going to take me at least 6 years to become a teacher, why wouldn't I pursue med school? I'd have to be an idiot not to try, right?

 

So there I was - three degrees, a lot of education-related debt, and not really employable...so I went full force into two things - tutoring math and science (which I had done all along, and now command a rather respectable hourly rate with all of my credentials), and obsessing over this idea of becoming a physician.

 

-------------------------

 

Fixing myself for the adcoms

 

I applied for the first cycle after finishing my B.Ed. (2013-2014) to the only schools I satisfied the requirements for (I still don't have those pesky orgo pre-reqs) - Queens, Mac and UofT. I told myself "If I can land that interview, I know I can nail it...I have so much I can talk about! But I don't look very good on paper, I realize that, so I may never get the chance. If I get an interview, I will reapply, if not, I won't." Queens and Mac rejected me early in the process, but UofT held onto me until the last interview spots were filled. It was utter agony to be kept waiting that long! But it gave me renewed confidence - UofT was interested, maybe with a different applicant pool, or slightly improved stats, I could get an interview spot! It was around this time that I joined PM101.

 

So I had a renewed passion, I was surrounded by colleagues in similar, or even worse situations, who were all supporting each other and pulling toward that same goal. In no small way, has this forum and its kind people impacted my journey and for that I'm thankful. I began to study incredibly hard for an MCAT re-write, saved up money and got some help from my mother in law to pay for books and AAMC Practice Tests, and OMSAS fees, so I was off to the races. By the end, my score was in the high 30s! I was pumped, wrote the test...and scored significantly lower on test day, but still had a respectable 12/10/11.

 

I began volunteering like crazy too, at a hospital notably (as I had no prior clinical experience) and with the elderly, particularly with dementia patients and those with special needs/mental disabilities. A truly humbling experience, but it wasn't always rewarding as it can be extremely difficult. Regardless I did what any premed would do - I manned up and did it, and I tried my best. Over the past few years (beginning before teachers college) I also helped pilot a youth centre for underprivileged kids where I taught them math and breakdancing and tied them together. It was tremendously successful, and I began managing the finances over this past year. Unfortunately, it's a non-profit so this didn't provide me with any income!

 

Unfortunately because of all of this investing of time and money into med apps, my very carefully budgeted/balanced finances for myself and my family didn't really hold up. My family began to have problems paying their bills as I couldn't siphon money their way, and there have been several close calls that could have resulted in a similar ordeal to that dark time during my undergrad. I felt (and still feel) horribly selfish for pursuing my dreams against all odds this past while.

 

-------------------------

 

Another Dark Period

 

In January of this year, I received a rejection from Mac and Queens. Queens disappointed me tremendously and infuriated me. I was finally over their cutoffs, it was supposed to come down to extracurriculars, and wow what a story I've got! This was my year... but sadly, it wasn't so. I harboured an incredible amount of resentment - why have I been wasting my time and energy? Why has my hard work never been beneficial? Why does everything I touch seem to turn to crap? I've wasted the past x years of my life....etc.

 

It was so difficult to keep the feelings inside, to feel like all I've done in my life is give to others and try my best, only to have life and the people in it give nothing in return. It felt so right, that I'd make a career out of helping others because it was what came so naturally to me... I was furious and not myself for several days, to the point where some of my loved ones were crying, intervention-style, telling me they didn't want me to become some broken person...and I finally had access to something I hadn't had previously, which concerned them: alcohol.

 

Before things got too dire I snapped out of it, thanks to my better half. If I didn't have enough moral support, I may have ended my life right then and there. All I could see were rejection letters, financial difficulties, and biological clocks spinning out of control...I needed my way out.

 

-------------------------

 

My Success? It's all in how you look at it

 

I began to look into alternatives at this point, including other programs, or jobs I could do with my current education level. I stumbled upon a few that clicked with me, ranging from chiropractic to mathematical finance, to computer science, to a doctorate in theoretical physics of all things. I applied, and naturally, got into all of them (except for some I'm still waiting on). I realized at this point that even though I'm not meant to be a doctor, I've still overcome tremendous odds and will continue to overcome these odds. I'm still a pretty darn smart guy, and I've done really well for myself.

 

I had an interview for a particularly competitive program (but one more up my alley in terms of being math-y), where the interviewer wound up boasting about why I was great, instead of the other way around. It was ridiculous, all these things that adcoms didn't think were enough impressed nearly everyone else in every other walk of life. I was accepted, nearly instantly, to a highly competitive professional masters program (they only accept 6 students, 1 guaranteed from Canada, 5 more international, and it's the only such program in Canada) which promises a really good salary at the end of the day. Best of all, it's employable - it takes very specialized math skills so they can't train very many people at a time. Apparently, I have a skill set which clearly the med adcoms do not value, but which made me a perfect match for this career.

 

So I had to make the judgement call - turn down my offers and try for medicine again (and risk having my family become homeless again during the next year or two), or accept...I'd be foolish not to. Sure it's boring and not my passion, but I will gladly take this offer. The program is expensive so I'm currently in the process of procuring a loan with some difficulty due to my "shady financial history" (ie. I was born into the wrong family). 

 

With this, I slowly but surely, gave up the fantasy of becoming a physician. "People like me don't become doctors" is something I'll be telling myself for a long time now...but with each passing day, I can finally feel that resentment slipping away. If adcoms don't want me, then it's their loss...not mine. It's time to build my new life and say good bye to my old one.

 

And right on schedule, a few days ago, UofT sent me my final rejection. Ironically, despite devoting all that time and energy to bettering myself, I did worse this year. I was not interview wait-listed, which means I have no idea how far into the process I got.

 

-------------------------

 

The conclusion - my new dream, the moral of the story, and farewell

 

"People like me don't become doctors....they become good people and good parents."

 

My new dream is not to be a doctor, but instead to provide my family and children with the ability to follow their dreams unhindered...and I will do this even if it means sacrificing my own personal desire to be a physician. This is a dream that I can finally see come to pass.

 

Don't be fooled, not even for a second - if you're here reading this, you are destined for greatness. You're the cream of the crop, even if medicine doesn't work out... even if life hasn't been kind to you... I promise you. Things will improve.

 

After reading this all I can say is I absolutely 100% don't deserve my spot...

[Med_Sep 2]

Hi All

I read all of the stories and they all were so inspiring. I am in this situation and I have been struggling for months to figure out which option works for me. I would be happy and grateful if you guys can help me with your information/advices:

I have a thesis base masters degree from Ryerson University (Mechanical), I passed 5 courses with (2 A+, 2 A, and 1 A-)
I have done my undergrad in a tough engineering school outside of Canada: GPA 3.16/4 (two best years 3.79 & 3.41)

I am 26 and I do not want to spend a lot of money and time and gain nothing at the end, so I assume that I have the following options: 

1) doing another undergrad degree but this time in health science, become familiar with health courses and also prepare myself for MCAT, definitely my chance would be higher, I am sure I can get a high GPA. And with my masters, probably I will be good for interview. The bad thing is that it takes 4 years and I will be 30 by then. 

2) Take 2 years non-program health science courses, obtain some good marks and get ready for MCAT, and then apply. The bad thing is that, considering my low under-grad GPA I won't have a chance for the schools that consider all 4 years for calculating GPA. 

3) unfortunately, because of my immigration problems I cannot do MD outside of Canada. I am about to become PR, so leaving the country means that I have to give up on my immigration hopes. 

I understand that by doing the second option I will not have a chance at all for a lot of MD schools inside of Canada. But If you had my situation, what would you do. 

Thank you so much,
Your comments and advices would make a huge effect on my decision.