Femto Posted February 23, 2012 Report Share Posted February 23, 2012 absolutely agree. even if they dont understand it wouldnt matter because you would be in med school! Even if many of the people I would be backing out on are close friends, and I would leave them with very little options to find a replacement?? It seems like a highly immoral and selfish thing to do...Like if I backed out on my #1 option on May 15th, many of my friends would be seriously f'ed. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kristoria Posted February 23, 2012 Report Share Posted February 23, 2012 Even if many of the people I would be backing out on are close friends, and I would leave them with very little options to find a replacement?? It seems like a highly immoral and selfish thing to do...Like if I backed out on my #1 option on May 15th, many of my friends would be seriously f'ed. I'm in the same position as you. I'm finishing my PhD. I want to look for a short postdoc just in case I don't get in but I don't think it is ethical to sign-up and then back out. My friend just started her postdoc under the pretense that she is going to defer acceptance to med school if she gets in. I know that the second she gets an acceptance she's going to give her 30 day notice. I'm so jealous because here I am putting my life on hold and come September I'll have nothing lined up. Its really frustrating, but I just can't justify leaving people out to dry. It just seems so selfish and unethical. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Link Posted February 23, 2012 Report Share Posted February 23, 2012 Even if many of the people I would be backing out on are close friends, and I would leave them with very little options to find a replacement?? It seems like a highly immoral and selfish thing to do...Like if I backed out on my #1 option on May 15th, many of my friends would be seriously f'ed. you make a good point. Just saying IF I was going to spend years of your life on a project when you would rather be at that med school I turned down I know I would be pretty miserable, which would mean I would probably not be trying my hardest on that said research and that would really be hurting "the close friends", just my 2 cents, plus if their really "close friends" then they would understand Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
keepontrying Posted February 23, 2012 Report Share Posted February 23, 2012 you make a good point. Just saying IF I was going to spend years of your life on a project when you would rather be at that med school I turned down I know I would be pretty miserable, which would mean I would probably not be trying my hardest on that said research and that would really be hurting "the close friends", just my 2 cents, plus if their really "close friends" then they would understand If you are really being a friend, wouldn't YOU understand their positions too? It goes both ways and I don't see how you can validate screwing others over because they "should" understand your predicament? And the bolded part doesn't make any sense. That's basically unprofessional and sounds more like a threat. It's like athletes forcing trades to big market teams because otherwise they won't be happy and won't perform well anyway, despite getting paid to commit to the current team and play as professional. If you are upfront about it initially and others know that you will quit if you got into med, then that's cool. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Link Posted February 23, 2012 Report Share Posted February 23, 2012 If you are really being a friend, wouldn't YOU understand their positions too? It goes both ways and I don't see how you can validate screwing others over because they "should" understand your predicament? And the bolded part doesn't make any sense. That's basically unprofessional and sounds more like a threat. It's like athletes forcing trades to big market teams because otherwise they won't be happy and won't perform well anyway, despite getting paid to commit to the current team and play as professional. If you are upfront about it initially and others know that you will quit if you got into med, then that's cool. LOOK I know you don't want to hurt your friends/potential supervisor...im just saying they probably want someone who really wants to be there and not someone who wished they didnt turn down that med offer...also the example in bold was using myself as an example...If I turned down a med offer to do something else I would probably not be happy with my decision and I imagine I would probably work more productively when Im happy over unhapply. That's not unprofessional, people have emotions and feelings...when people are happy they probably work more productively. I honestly understand your point keepontrying and I really didnt mean to offend you as much as I did...just saying if you get that med offer on may 15th and that is your first choice tell your friends/supervisors and explain to them that's what you really want and they might be understanding and compassionate...with that being said I will apologize to you keepontrying Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Link Posted February 23, 2012 Report Share Posted February 23, 2012 If you are really being a friend, wouldn't YOU understand their positions too? It goes both ways and I don't see how you can validate screwing others over because they "should" understand your predicament? And the bolded part doesn't make any sense. That's basically unprofessional and sounds more like a threat. It's like athletes forcing trades to big market teams because otherwise they won't be happy and won't perform well anyway, despite getting paid to commit to the current team and play as professional. If you are upfront about it initially and others know that you will quit if you got into med, then that's cool. and btw I never said not to tell them Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
keepontrying Posted February 23, 2012 Report Share Posted February 23, 2012 Oh I wasn't offended so no need for apology. I just didn't agree, that's all. By not being upfront beforehand, I just feel that others are being forced to grant your wish because if you stay, you won't be happy, and if you leave, only you'll be happy lol. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kristoria Posted February 23, 2012 Report Share Posted February 23, 2012 the conundrum is that if you're up front about it, it will be very difficult to find a position. Personally, I'm going to wait another few weeks to see if I get an interview before job hunting. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Comeon Posted February 23, 2012 Report Share Posted February 23, 2012 +1 - I am leaving grad. applications for January admission so that I have no conflict of interest with regards to medicine. I feel that if a supervisor takes me on, and I eventually say no, I would indirectly be demeaning the value of their research the conundrum is that if you're up front about it, it will be very difficult to find a position. Personally, I'm going to wait another few weeks to see if I get an interview before job hunting. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RedLily Posted February 23, 2012 Report Share Posted February 23, 2012 Anyone else getting stressed out every time their phone buzzes or email shows a new message? I keep thinking I'm about to see a "uToronto regrets" message... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nikki dale Posted February 23, 2012 Report Share Posted February 23, 2012 Anyone else getting stressed out every time their phone buzzes or email shows a new message? I keep thinking I'm about to see a "uToronto regrets" message... Yes Except I don't have a fancy phone so when I wake up, I run to the computer to turn it on and I keep my email open all day and wait for the tab to turn from Inbox (2) to Inbox(3)...(I don't even know what those 2 other unread emails are lol) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Comeon Posted February 23, 2012 Report Share Posted February 23, 2012 The rejections have got to be coming soon. I feel that the recent March 3 invites are individuals who have replaced others invited for March 3, but had prior commitments and had to switch to a later date. They just had a grad. review day at U of T, and unless they liked everyone, the rejection pile has got to have a few - and we have got to hear pretty soon. Tomorrow marks a year since my last U of T rejection and I hope I will survive!!!! Anyone else getting stressed out every time their phone buzzes or email shows a new message? I keep thinking I'm about to see a "uToronto regrets" message Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Comeon Posted February 23, 2012 Report Share Posted February 23, 2012 They could be 2 invites you do not know about YesExcept I don't have a fancy phone so when I wake up, I run to the computer to turn it on and I keep my email open all day and wait for the tab to turn from Inbox (2) to Inbox(3)...(I don't even know what those 2 other unread emails are lol) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RedLily Posted February 23, 2012 Report Share Posted February 23, 2012 Tomorrow marks a year since my last U of T rejection and I hope I will survive!!!! Maybe the cosmos will send you an invite on the day you last received a rejection! Seriously, EVERY time I check my email it's a big ordeal haha (kidding but also not kidding ) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Link Posted February 23, 2012 Report Share Posted February 23, 2012 Anyone else getting stressed out every time their phone buzzes or email shows a new message? I keep thinking I'm about to see a "uToronto regrets" message... I was reading this on my phone when I got an email! FREAKED ME OUT! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maybeadoc Posted February 23, 2012 Report Share Posted February 23, 2012 I'm in the same position as you. I'm finishing my PhD. I want to look for a short postdoc just in case I don't get in but I don't think it is ethical to sign-up and then back out. My friend just started her postdoc under the pretense that she is going to defer acceptance to med school if she gets in. I know that the second she gets an acceptance she's going to give her 30 day notice. I'm so jealous because here I am putting my life on hold and come September I'll have nothing lined up. Its really frustrating, but I just can't justify leaving people out to dry. It just seems so selfish and unethical. i don't know if its ethical or not...it's just real life. Sometimes you have to think of your own best interests. For you to contribute to the world ...YOU have to be at your best FIRST then you will be able to contribute properly. I am not saying go out and screw people up intentionally all the time...but in this case you need to work and grow while waiting for med school and if med school happen viola you have accomplished your goal and it is time work towards becoming a doc... Someone can ALWAYS be found to take your place. If they are your friends they will totally understand. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Link Posted February 23, 2012 Report Share Posted February 23, 2012 The rejections have got to be coming soon. I feel that the recent March 3 invites are individuals who have replaced others invited for March 3, but had prior commitments and had to switch to a later date. They just had a grad. review day at U of T, and unless they liked everyone, the rejection pile has got to have a few - and we have got to hear pretty soon. Tomorrow marks a year since my last U of T rejection and I hope I will survive!!!! I have been thinking this a lot lately...there is definitely a storm approaching...however this kind of talk is not appropriate for the hopebox! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Femto Posted February 23, 2012 Report Share Posted February 23, 2012 I have been thinking this a lot lately...there is definitely a storm approaching...however this kind of talk is not appropriate for the hopebox! Okay, well, March 4th interviews must be coming very soon then too! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Link Posted February 23, 2012 Report Share Posted February 23, 2012 Okay, well, March 4th interviews must be coming very soon then too! i believe I have seen someone get a march 4th invite already...but you make a good point that there are still more to go...hopefully tomorrow! otherwise it would be short notice getting one next week Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RedLily Posted February 23, 2012 Report Share Posted February 23, 2012 i believe I have seen someone get a march 4th invite already...but you make a good point that there are still more to go...hopefully tomorrow! otherwise it would be short notice getting one next week Well you know what they say about Friday the 24th... INVITES! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Corneld Posted February 23, 2012 Report Share Posted February 23, 2012 I got a March 4th invite on February 17th. Time stamp was 8:06pm EST. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Comeon Posted February 24, 2012 Report Share Posted February 24, 2012 That's the norm about Feb. 24, it should be common knowledge at this point. Also, you know what they say about March, 2012 - INVITES AND NO REJECTIONS!!!! I was thinking, if one of us from the hope box ever saw Leslie or Deborah walk by or maybe got stuck with Leslie or Deborah over a long commute - would we initiate a conversation (what would we say?) or just silently stalk? I would probably silently stalk and give nasty looks if I were rejected - the meanest ones that anyone has ever seen (just like my avatar). Well you know what they say about Friday the 24th... INVITES! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nikki dale Posted February 24, 2012 Report Share Posted February 24, 2012 That's the norm about Feb. 24, it should be common knowledge at this point. Also, you know what they say about March, 2012 - INVITES AND NO REJECTIONS!!!! I was thinking, if one of us from the hope box ever saw Leslie or Deborah walk by or maybe got stuck with Leslie or Deborah over a long commute - would we initiate a conversation (what would we say?) or just silently stalk? I would probably silently stalk and give nasty looks if I were rejected - the meanest ones that anyone has ever seen (just like my avatar). Deborah seems like the chatty type. I'd probably say hi and tell her how I 'know' her, but try not to much more about medical school because I don't think she'd appreciate that. I don't know what Leslie looks like; something about her seems more scary. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nikki dale Posted February 24, 2012 Report Share Posted February 24, 2012 Totally off-topic, I've become recently obsessed with Coldplay's song: Sparks. Holy Cow Replay x a million. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RedLily Posted February 24, 2012 Report Share Posted February 24, 2012 I would probably silently stalk and give nasty looks if I were rejected - the meanest ones that anyone has ever seen (just like my avatar). "I'm not accepted? Prepare for the glare... " Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.